2016-10-19

【Aiden in English】

        Growing up in the better areas of America, children take life for granted. We all expect the food to be provided on our plates every night, and new sneakers given every year before school starts. Most children and teenagers simply view this as a normal way of life, experiencing only one face of a multi-platform world. There aren’t many things that worry us other than grades or losing followers on Instagram. I was one of these kids who took life for granted. Looking back at what I’ve been through, I realize there is so much more in this world to worry about other than a letter written on the top of an essay.

        I didn’t realize that when the mother said it was freezing outside that she actually was serious. Then again, she hardly jokes, which now seems like something I should have noted. With autumn coming to its close, the season should’ve hinted at the upcoming weather changes. Unfortunately, the temperature of the past week was quite misleading. In fact, kids at school were still joking about how global warming has accelerated. “Finally,” we would say, “meteorologists actually got something right.”

        Stepping outside, the first feeling I received was … nothing, surprisingly. Although the thermostat said it was under the freezing level, I quickly disregarded its information. Just a day ago, it had read the indoor temperature around 120 degrees. We really needed to change its battery, I thought, walking to my bus stop.

        By then, the pricks had started in my hands. I had worn shorts with my favorite red Nike jacket. Stuffing them into the pockets, I realized then, a slight trickle in the back of my mind, that this may have been a mistake.

        Just my luck, the bus was late that day. When the sound of a squealing brake turned the corner, I had already begun to feel a growing, mysterious warmth within. Either that or I was hallucinating. School seemed fine enough, with only a slight headache to deal with, possibly from the cringy video in science. Stepping off the school bus in the afternoon, the bright sun seemed to shine a little less. Oddly, I couldn't tell what was wrong. My neighbor was hopping home, taking off his sweatshirt. I, on the other hand, bundled up even further, as if afraid of the sun.

        My house felt even weirder than outside. At this point, beads of sweat began to appear on my brow. That night, I went to bed early, disregarding my mother’s questions and worries. By then, I was dragging myself into bed, feeling as if my body was being pulled down by a supernatural force. Fortunately, I fell asleep quickly. Unfortunately, I woke up at night, with a huge chill in my stomach and a splitting headache. It was then I notified my mother, which led to the decision of taking me out of school.

        Obviously, by now I understood that I was sick. My family wasn’t sure what the issue or disease was just quite yet, but it wouldn’t be the first time a sickness impacted my life. Around every year, I have one really bad week of colds or the flu, where I take days off school in order to stay sane. It’s a very odd experience to feel so cold when your body is so hot, as it brutally messes with a person’s senses. This year was no different. Because of the experience with colds, I expected all the symptoms before most started. This year was an especially bad sickness. The world around went completely cold, and even though my breaths weren’t turning into crystals, the very air seemed to freeze up upon touching my skin.  Constantly checking a thermometer, the blood pounded through my ears, drumming with more intensity with every hour that passed. Sometimes, when things got too cold, I would use the heat radiating from my forehead to warm my hands. This might as well have been considered the only exercise for a week.

        The next few days were kind of a blur. They kind of all came in the same style. Eat a small breakfast, staring at the ceiling, drifting to sleep, it all felt like time and space had no relativity anymore. Reality had its color and life leeched away by a menacing ice-age. As I slipped between the conscious stages, I realized the difference between watching and seeing. Watching is just pointing your eyes towards something. Seeing is the actual image being broadcasted to the brain. Worst of all, I had nothing to do. The silver lining to being sick is the ability to stay home all day and do all the fun events. Surprisingly enough, even the simple pleasures of YouTube and videogames had no appeal, not to mention food, drinks, or sports. Mother, rather than feeling sympathetic, became quite tired of me not doing anything proactive the entire day, thinking in a very strict manner of things strict women would think about, such as school, missed work, projects, and practicing piano. Just another person that's gone cold. Therefore, I returned to school the next day.

        The description of Advil (200 mg) says that the drug has an effect of around four hours. Apparently, stacking up doses does not mean it will extend the effective time. Coming home after a particularly bad day at school, where I looked like a zombie without any of the human flesh appetites, mother figured that it was time to send me to the hospital.

        It was particularly dreary on that fateful night. Looking back at that exact moment, it felt like one of those dramatic movie scenes where the main character has he “has to go”, even though he “knows all the risks”. A thought protruded my wandering mind, saying this was for the good of my own health. Unfortunately, it sounded exactly how the main character always says “the world is counting on me”. But in this case, nature doesn’t seem to want me to survive.

        Children Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP), located in Philadelphia, is a top-notch hospital in the world. For many adolescent patients, it can deliver very efficient care to those in need, as well as those with health insurance. There was a period of time when I had blacked out, probably because it was late at night, and I dozed off. Mother looked quite worried, as you would expect. Walking in a compartment, the magnitude of the situation settled into my soul. The walls suddenly closed in, looking ever so intimidating with their sharp tools and scary diagrams of body parts. With reassuring replies to my worries from my family, I understood sometimes, there only was so long a child could remain a child. The doctors took my blood pressure, recording them in some scary charts. Finally, a nurse arrived with needles and tubes, attempting to take some blood samples my mother requested. The last time I came in touch with needles, I, embarrassingly have to admit, was not something to be proud of. I really wished she had opened the packs outside or in another room since the process just gave my heart more time to self-destruct. Turning around, the nurse rubs away the grime with the alcohol pad on my arm and primed the glinting silver needle.

        Truthfully, I never saw it coming. One second, I was answering what school I went to, the next, I was hooked up to a drip, and the nurse had taken a small vial of red, gooey blood. She left without saying much, which probably was for the better. Later on, a bottle of Gatorade was given, “with extra infused electrolytes”. I never was a big fan of Gatorade, just a bunch of sugar and a catchy name. But I couldn’t really let go of the bottle. As in that cold, empty room, in a cruel, frozen world, it was the one thing I could count on.

        Later on, when the doctor said I simply had an extremely bad cold, which was very anti-climactic, I still sat in the chair, covered in a mountain of blankets, sipping that bottle of Gatorade. Sure, I caught a break, but I knew how much this meant for my future. Life isn’t something everyone takes for granted. We all should accept what we have and be thankful for what we have. Finishing the Gatorade, I felt a little shade of color return back into everything around. A warmth tingled within, but this time, I knew it was real.

【紅霞譯文】

        在美國優裕地區長大的孩子把生命視為理所當然，要麼希望每晚餐盤上備好下肚的食物，要麼期待每年開學前添置新款運動鞋，多數少年兒童以為這是天經地義的，畢竟自己在多元化世界中所處的生活層面大都如此，平日除了應付學業成績或關注照片牆上粉絲多少，對其它事情不管不問，我也不排除在外。回顧自己親身經歷，我意識到人世間有很多東西遠比上述標題里的字母更值得重視。

        聽到母親提醒外面開始上凍後我沒當回事，天氣確實惡劣，再說她從不瞎開玩笑，現在到了我該注意的時候。 既然秋天馬上過去，季節本身已經暗示未來天氣變化，壞就壞在上周氣溫帶點誤導作用，其實校園內同學們仍舊拿全球快速變暖一事尋開心。 “終於，”大家會說：“氣象學家干點靠譜的事。”

        走出屋外，我首先感覺……沒有差異，真邪了門。雖然氣溫計指出零度以下，但我轉眼就把它拋到腦後，就在一天前，它竟然顯示室內華氏溫度高達120度左右。下午趕往車站的路上，我還想莫非該換個電池。

        那時寒風已開始吹得手痛，我下着短褲、上穿本人最喜歡的紅色耐克外套，雙手揣進兜內，之後我隱約意識到可能犯了一個錯誤。

        偏巧那天校車晚點，當拐彎處剎車聲響起，不知是因為寒冷還是出於幻覺，我心裡萌生一股越來越神秘的親切感。學校活動如常進行，我稍微鬧點頭痛，也許要怪那部討厭的科學視頻。下午坐校車回家途中，燦爛的陽光似乎暗淡一點，奇怪的是我絲毫沒覺察出任何不適。鄰家朋友脫掉運動衫跑回了家，而我卻裹得嚴嚴實實，好像害怕太陽似的。

        我家似乎比屋外更加莫名其妙，此時我額頭上開始掛滿汗珠。到了晚上，我顧不上母親盤問焦慮，早早上床睡覺。我強迫自己躺下，感覺身體被超自然力拽住，好在很快入睡，哪曾料到夜晚醒來，胃口難受得要命並伴有頭痛發作，我隨即叫醒母親，決定乾脆請假在家養病。

        顯然，直到這個時候我才知道自己生病，家人拿捏不准緣何而起，但我也不是第一次遭受疾病煎熬，其實每年都有這麼一周我不是得重感冒就是患重流感，因此總得病休幾天養精蓄銳。身體發燒的時候你卻感到冷得要命，這種體驗非常奇怪，它毫無人情地混淆感官認知，今年也不例外。基於以往感冒經驗，在尚未發病之前，我對全部病症瞭如指掌。這次感冒特別較勁，周圍世界變得冷酷難忍，即使我呼出的氣沒被凍成冰棍，寒意似乎令我窒息。我不停地測量體溫，血流震得耳膜嗡嗡作響，而且一陣比一陣劇烈。有時當冷到一定程度，我會把雙手擱在發熱的額頭上取暖，這可能是我本周以來唯一做過的運動。        

        接下來幾天有點迷迷糊糊，反正每次發病形式大同小異。早餐吃得很少，眼睛看着看着天花板便墜入夢鄉，好像時空不再有任何關聯，可惡的寒冷讓現實黯然失色叫生活索然無味。當介於兩種意識階段左右搖擺時，我深知觀看與看見不同。所謂觀看無非眼睛跟隨東西移動，而看見則為實際圖像進入大腦，糟糕的是我與兩者互不搭嘎。生病的唯一好處莫過於可以整天耗在家裡耍着玩，出乎意料地，這回我對優兔和電子遊戲這類人見人愛的玩意興趣索然，更不必說吃喝運動。面對我整天無所事事，母親以嚴厲女性的敏銳思維而不是惻隱之心去考慮諸如學校、落下的作業、研修課題、練習鋼琴等問題，另一位着涼抽風的人。既然如此，第二天我返校上學。

        布洛芬（每片200毫克）說明書指出藥效保持四個小時左右，顯而易見，加大劑量服用未必延長藥物作用時間。在校期間我如同行屍走肉，感覺特別糟糕，回到家後母親見狀二話不說立馬帶我去醫院就診。

        生死攸關的夜晚特別沉悶，回顧那一時刻，如同故事片主人公出現的場景，“明知山有虎”，可他“偏要虎山行”。我腦海里冷不丁冒出一個念頭，生病有利本人健康，乍聽起來好像主角一直在說：“世界離不開我”，但眼下老天爺似乎沒指望我撐過來。

        位於費城的兒童醫院在世界上首屈一指，對於很多青少年患者而言，它提供立見成效的醫護保健服務，因為深更半夜我睡着了，所以一度出現記憶斷片，如你所知，母親顯得非常焦慮。一走進診室，我預感病情嚴重，四周牆壁突然緊閉，上面掛着尖利的醫療器械和恐怖的肢體解剖圖片，不由得心驚膽顫。家人想方設法安慰我，我明白有時孩童的天真瞬間即逝。醫生給我量血壓，並匯總到一些可怕的表格里去，最後護士帶來針管，準備按照母親旨意抽血化驗。我大言不慚地承認，上次跟針頭打交道表現欠佳，真希望她在屋外或別的房間打開包裝盒，當面操作讓我身心備受折磨。我轉過頭去，護士用酒精棉消毒胳膊並扎入亮閃閃的銀針。

        說實話，我從來不看抽血。前一秒鐘我剛回答在哪上學，下一時刻護士已收集完一小管又紅又稠的血樣。她走時沒說太多，也許這樣更好，過後又送來一瓶佳得樂，“額外補充電解質”。我一向不是這種飲料的忠實粉絲，它除了甜還享有時髦的名稱，可我又不能不喝，在冷若冰霜的世界裡身處這麼寂寞空蕩的地方，它是唯一我能得到慰藉的東西。  

        後來當醫生告知我不過得了重感冒（成心跟氣候唱對台戲），我依舊坐在椅子上，身上蓋着厚厚的毯子，嘴裡啜飲那瓶佳得樂。沒錯，我得空休息一下，但心裡明白這種調整對未來意味着什麼，生命並不是人人認為理所當然的，大家都應該珍惜並感激自己所擁有的一切。喝完佳得樂，我覺得周圍有點煥然一新，禁不住盪起陣陣暖意，這回真的心生感動。

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ER in Children Hospital of Philadelphia(費城兒童醫院醫急診)