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zt: A Pastor's LGBT Stance
送交者: mean 2015年10月20日09:21:38 于 [彩虹之约] 发送悄悄话

When Caleb Kaltenbach was two years old, both his mother and father came out as gay, then got a divorce. Growing up, he absorbed their antagonism toward Christians, but went on to embrace Christianity as a teenager. In Messy Grace: How a Pastor with Gay Parents Learned to Love Others Without Sacrificing Conviction (WaterBrook Press), Kaltenbach, a pastor in Southern California, charts the path to reconciling with his parents, who are now both believers. CT assistant editor Morgan Lee spoke with Kaltenbach about his experiences ministering to people with same-sex attraction.

Where did your youthful hatred of Christians come from?

My mom and her partner were active in gay-rights organizations. They took me to gay clubs, parties, and campouts. I marched in gay pride parades and went to political events. That was just my life.

I hated Christians because I saw how they treated gay people. At the end of one parade, I saw signs saying, “God hates you.” Protesters were spraying water and urine on people. I asked my mom, “Why are they acting that way?” She said, “Caleb, they’re Christians, and Christians hate gay people.”

My dad and I sometimes attended an Episcopal church, but it didn’t teach me much about God. I was an altar boy but fell asleep during most services. I learned that evangelicals were people who wouldn’t like you if you weren’t a white Republican.

How were you able to repair the relationship with your parents?

After I came to Christ, my parents were irate. My dad grounded me. He told me I was basically disowning him. My mom wouldn’t talk to me for months. When I told them I believed that God intended sexual intimacy only for one man and one woman, that created more trauma.

But I always told them that God loved them, not based on their sexuality but because of what his Son accomplished on the cross. I had to continually show them examples of people, including my friends, who were not like the Christians they had known before.

How has reconciling with your parents influenced your ministry?

After I first brought my mom to one of my former churches, two elders basically said, “If you want to keep preaching here, don’t ever bring someone like your mother again.”

That was my last Sunday there. I prayed, “Lord, if you give me the chance to lead a church, I want it to be a place for people struggling with sexual identity, for addicts or gangbangers, for people who are bankrupt, for people having affairs.”

At my current church, we absolutely believe God has expectations for sexuality. But I am not called to change anyone’s sexual orientation. My goal is to preach the gospel and to share Jesus. The LGBT people who attend know about our traditional views. That doesn’t stop us from loving and embracing them.

What can evangelicals learn from the LGBT community?

We can learn that homosexual identity goes much deeper than sexual habits. Before her partner died, my mom told me they had stopped being sexually active years ago. But she still called herself a lesbian. When gay people are invited to give up that lifestyle, they think, “You want me to give up my friends, my community, my movement, my acceptance? No, thank you”—especially when the church hasn’t offered them an alternative community.

We can also learn a lot about loving other people. Are there militant activists like my mom? Sure. There are extremists in just about every community. But for the most part, they are some of the most loving and accepting people I know. They’re not looking for the next battle to fight. They just want to live their lives.

At its best, the LGBT movement has many qualities we’d associate with the church. There’s a love for people. There’s a strong sense of justice and a commitment to a shared cause. They’re intentional about sharing their views and unashamed to be recognized for what they believe.

What do you find most frustrating about the divide between evangelicals and the LGBT community?

I see many churches digging in their heels instead of wrestling with issues of grace and truth. For example, how would you react if two men were holding hands in church? Could a lesbian couple attend a parenting class? Could they attend your small group or Bible study? What if a lesbian wants to be baptized, or an openly gay man wants to go on a men’s retreat? These questions will come up eventually.

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  一个人和毒品结婚了怎么办?够DEEP的了。  /无内容 - repentant 10/20/15 (202)
  thought provoking - mean 10/20/15 (271)
          我们教会谁教训丈夫了?你指出来。 - 新歌 10/20/15 (220)
            自己的丈夫都不能教训,还出来教训别人的丈夫? - weak 10/21/15 (205)
              丈夫敬畏神,有啥好说的。亚拿尼亚的妻子若责备丈夫,就不会双亡 - 新歌 10/21/15 (210)
                Another possibility, - YeSuShiZhu 10/22/15 (182)
                撒非喇与丈夫同心欺哄彼得,就是欺哄圣灵,都找死 - weak 10/21/15 (191)
            LGBT就是奸淫。女人做牧师就是相当于属灵LGBT  /无内容 - weak 10/20/15 (233)
              你的心从来没有动过奸淫的念头?你不奸淫? - 新歌 10/20/15 (218)
                我认为属灵的LGBT更坏。肉体的LGBT,认罪就是好开始 - weak 10/21/15 (205)
                  呵呵,你还是把底波拉当士师的事情先明白吧。我不奉陪你了。  /无内容 - 新歌 10/21/15 (196)
    关键两点: - 新歌 10/20/15 (269)
        您若始终要误会我的意思,我也没有办法。 - 新歌 10/20/15 (233)
      没有“罪”,何来“罪人”?何来“胜过罪;救罪人”的说法?  /无内容 - beiqian 10/20/15 (221)
        sin,condemn or convict sinner? - 新歌 10/20/15 (223)
          可惜,汉语中没有那个概念;颠覆加纠结啊  /无内容 - beiqian 10/20/15 (210)
            汉语本来就是抒情语言,因此华人逻辑概念也成问题。  /无内容 - 新歌 10/20/15 (212)
      同意 - mean 10/20/15 (252)
        圣灵有更新人的大能。 - 新歌 10/20/15 (237)
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