觀察夜晚的自然主義者

Susan著 小哭譯

昨天晚上（或者我應該說今天早晨？）我在四點就醒了，下了床後，來到了外面。天還黑着，是那種伸手不見五指的黑，我根本看不到月亮的影子。我的父母還沒有醒來。隔壁的房子全黑着，除了剛打開用來照亮的門廊燈外到處不見光亮。後院的草是濕的，我可以聞到空氣中雨水的清新味兒。我想“我在屋裡睡覺的時候天一定下過雨”。

然後，我開始在外面支帳篷。天冷，但還沒有冷到讓我縮回到屋裡。門廊的燈還亮着，所以我能夠看清一點點草。我能感覺到冷氣經過我涼鞋上的孔洞鑽進我的腳踝。我靜悄悄地干着活，既是因為我不想影響任何人睡覺，也是因為黑得讓人害怕。我試着呆在門廊燈能夠照亮的地方。我的四周非常地安靜，由於緊張我也更加靜悄悄地，似乎只要這樣，那些存在於我的想像中的隱藏在黑暗中的怪物就不會發現我了。過了一陣子，天更冷了，我快速地搭好了帳篷，抓了一個手電和一些毯子枕頭之類的，就爬進我那與這個黑夜如此格格不入的粉紅色的凱蒂貓城堡帳篷中了。

我在幹活時，顧不得去關注大自然的寶貝，就顧着關心帳篷的鈎子和夾子了。但等我在帳篷里安頓下來後，我便開始欣賞它們了。我打開了網狀窗口的布片，以便在我感受泥土氣味的同時還能更多地感受到穿過帳篷的雨水的濕潤的氣味兒。我喜歡雨的味道——很新鮮、乾淨和潮濕，總是讓我覺得快樂地想跳舞。我不知道這是為什麼，但就是這樣。我也能感受到另一種味道——離地這麼近，我能聞到草的味道。草聞起來和雨有點相似（可能是因為草被雨徹底地浸泡了吧），但更具泥土味。除了雨和草，也有一些我不能分辨出來的味道。可能是泥土，葉子，還有……一些其它別的什麼。我坐回去，讓黑夜的氣味在帳篷的窗口間流動。

就算躺在那堆毯子下面，我的感官還是和平時一樣地敏感。除了味道，我還能聽到很多聲音，它們並不都令人愉快。有蟋蟀在我帳篷後面響亮地的高聲鳴叫着，“啁啾！”“啁啾！”還有不知道是哪種昆蟲發出的我所熟悉的夜晚中的低音。這種聲音像是“啁啾”與“嗡嗡”聲的混合，聽起來比蟋蟀那高音的叫聲要低，與背景更為協調。雖然沒有蟋蟀的叫聲好聽，但是叫聲較長並且連續不斷。第三種聲音則來來去去的。聽起來像是蟋蟀聲，但是更吵，也不停頓（直到它徹底地停止鳴叫，然後又開始幾分鐘）。因為聲音尖銳刺耳，讓我想到了青蛙的叫聲。因為好像聲音就在我的窗外傳來的似的，所以非常地煩人，儘管我什麼也看不見。過了一會兒，這個聲音停了下來，並且再也沒有響起來。一陣大風吹過樹木，院子裡發出了柔和（或說毛骨悚然，看你怎麼理解吧）的“嘩嘩”的聲音。不久，我就在這些重複着的聲音中一點點地睡着了。

但在我又睡着以前（記住現在是凌晨五點左右，所以我肯定是非常地累），我注意到了另一種煩人的聲音。外面還是黑漆漆的，一旦我停止關注愉悅的聲音，我就意識到天有多麼地黑。在我爬進帳篷里之前，我已經把門廊的燈給關了，只留了車道上的一個非常非常暗的燈亮着。那點燈光沒有什麼用，只是帶來了令人恐怖的陰影和嚇人的形狀。儘管我努力迴避，可是我的耳朵自己卻非要堅持工作，去聽一些代表着“危險”的聲音！！當然，一旦我去聽那些聲音，我就肯定能聽到。

在我的右邊，一片混亂。然後，出現了嫩枝損壞的聲音。腳步聲？不，聽起來太小太安靜了，不像是人的聲音。動物的？可能是也可能不是。搞不清這聲音是從哪裡來的，比僅僅聽到聲音更為糟糕。然後，在我腦袋這個方向，我聽到另外幾個嫩枝斷裂的聲音，和幾聲小小的呼嚕。那僅僅是我的想像？還是一個小動物在我的院子裡拖腳而行呢？第一次聽到這個聲音時，我嚇得要死。我是一個很容易受到驚嚇的人，特別是當我一個人在這種伸手不見五指的黑夜裡時。小心翼翼地，我往外看了看，但是除了草和黑暗之外我什麼也看不見。幾分鐘後，有更多的細小的呼嚕聲和一些摩擦草地的聲音，我認為那可能是一個松鼠或是那兩隻經常到我們院子裡來的兔子中的一個。在我知道這個聲音是什麼之後（或以為我知道），我就感覺好多了，可以安靜地去睡覺了。

但是不！有什麼別的東西正在靠近我。天很冷，我把一條毯子放在了帳篷底面上，因為帳篷底面非常地薄，把另一條毯子蓋在了身上。但還是很冷，窗戶搞得我更冷了。我發誓牆是濕的，雖然他們應該是防水的。又吹來一陣風，我覺得帳篷在搖晃。這樣反而更好，我想。不管怎麼說，我不應該睡覺。當我一個人在黑夜裡呆滿一個小時後，就應該寫我的另一個作業了。然而，我太累了。所以，大概一個半小時後，昆蟲的鳴叫聲，伴着樹木嘩嘩作響的聲音，再夾雜着黑夜的味道，最後把我送到夢鄉了。

夜裡呆在外面，一點都不是梭羅在他所寫的《夜與月光》中所看到的那樣愉快。這事兒其實很嚇人，很恐怖，還把我凍得半死（那可能是我的錯兒。我應該選擇一個更暖和的夜晚或更多的毯子）。一些人可能會說我應該選擇一個月圓的夜晚，但是我的理由是：月圓的夜晚在30天中只有兩或三天，如果我選擇月圓的夜晚的話，我體驗的可能只是大自然的夜晚中少於10%的部分。因此，為了更好地體驗自然，完全隨機地選擇一個夜晚更好（實際上這是我在體驗完大自然的夜晚之後找的理由，我只是不想讓自己看起來太傻而已）。

如前所述，我在戶外的夜晚並非如梭羅所談論的那種，特別是因為還沒有月亮。雖然有星星，它們還相當地漂亮。梭羅應該非常清楚的一件事兒是加強的感官能力。因為我無法看得清楚，實際上我就不得不依賴於我的感官去弄清楚正在發生着什麼。比如氣味、聲音和感覺/觸覺，但味覺沒什麼用。

我贊同梭羅所說的另一件事兒，就是早晨醒來的那個特殊時刻。在我整個自然體驗中最好的部分，就是醒來時聞到清晨空氣中的新鮮味兒，看到淡藍色的天空中閃耀着一彎白色的峨嵋月。清晨的微風與夜晚的風是如此地不同。清晨的風更為柔和，它通過新鮮的綠草把我叫醒；夜晚的風則非常強勁，它能穿越樹木，像要把人撞倒一樣。甚至連聲音在清晨都有所不同。那個不知是什麼昆蟲所發出來的低低的嗡嗡聲也消失了。蟋蟀的叫聲還在，響亮而歡快。清晨里更多的叫聲是鳥叫，鳥兒們在這裡叫叫又在那裡叫叫，歡樂的歌聲讓我精神大振，帶給我的快樂和自信，讓我覺得沒有什麼做不了的事情似的。直到我這次親身體驗之前，我一直都不相信梭羅所描述的這種大自然的清晨。現在人們還沒有醒來，一會兒我將不得不重新地忙碌起來，於是我決定在這個溫和的清晨里暫且休息一會兒。

總體來說，這是一次愉悅的經歷。我喜歡成為自然的一部分，喜歡被大自然中的夜晚和清晨的氣味和聲音所包圍。事實上，我是如此地喜歡，我甚至已經在想着要在某天再來體驗一次了！梭羅是對的。在戶外待些時間，成為自然的一部分，真的是一種特別與寶貴的經歷。

【小哭介紹背景】我一邊翻譯，一邊查找梭羅的資料！我一邊看着梭羅的資料，一邊想着應該把梭羅的資料也整理出來一篇小文，做為這篇小文的補充。最近老是聽Susan說Walden，開始我一直不知道她說的到底是什麼！後來才搞清楚，原來是梭羅的大作啊！從她的隻言片語中得知，那是威爾基女士下達的閱讀硬指標！Susan認為威爾基女士讓他們讀了太多有關哲學與宗教主題的書了，她覺得太難了，太枯燥了，不愛讀。可我卻覺得這挺好！近兩年來，我越來越接受不了Susan總是沉浸在那些虛幻的書目中，我認為她應該開始花些時間去讀一些和“現實生活”更相關的書。可是，青春期的孩子，如Susan這種，憑着我這點三腳貓的功夫，根本無法在這一點上說服她。高興時她嘴上會說個好，不高興時當場就會把我噎個半死，直問我她活在現實生活中的時間還不夠多嗎？

真的是慶幸她遇到了威爾基女士，一個讓她崇拜並喜歡的老師，非常地有威嚴，又讓她特別地服氣。她為了當個好學生，一頁頁地讀起了梭羅的書了。記得她在前面關於家庭作業的文章中曾經說過，這書讀起來進度相當地緩慢。那是！需要動腦筋的書，當然和聽故事的書不可同日而語了。

我喜歡她在這篇文章中對梭羅的一些看法的驗證。對比於她讀完書就去評論，她去親自體驗過了之後再評，那不管她是同意還是反對梭羅的觀點，我都覺得她的態度是真誠的。在我眼裡，威爾基女士想要培養學生們的，應該不僅僅是他們閱讀的能力、思考的能力、體驗的能力、驗證的能力，還有一種做事的態度！我想Susan跟着她能夠學到的，最寶貴的應該就是這種做事的態度了。要想自己說的話能夠擲地有聲，需要的不僅僅是表達的能力、思考的能力，還需要一種踏踏實實地行事風格。總之，想別人相信你，就得拿出來令人信服的理由。

這篇小文威爾基女士給的分數並不高，Susan解釋說是文中低級錯誤太多。但我對這篇小文的評價還是相當不錯的。Susan說威爾基女士在這篇小文上寫的批閱意見是——“下次在前一個晚上天黑前把帳篷先搭好。”

我真為Susan在八年級中有諸多這類大作業和經歷感到欣慰。何謂給孩子更好的教育？威爾基女士帶來的教學，就是我眼裡更好的教育！好老師千金不換。對於明年就退休的威爾基女士，能夠成為她的學生需要十足的運氣，而Susan，就這麼好運。感謝上帝吧。遇到與孩子合拍的老師，其實是一件相當不容易的事情！

附上英文原文：

Nocturnal Naturalist

Last night (or should I say this morning?) I woke up at 4:00 AM, got out of bed, and went outside. It was still dark, the pitch-black-I-can’t-see-anything kind of of dark, and I could see no sign of the moon. My parents were not awake yet. The houses next to mine were all dark, there was no light on anywhere save the porch light I had just turned on to light my path. The grass in my backyard was wet, and I could smell the fresh scent of rain in the air. It must’ve rained earlier tonight while I was sleeping inside I thought.

Then, I went back outside to set up my tent. It was cold, but not cold enough to drive me back inside. The porch light was still on, so I could see the grass a little bit, and I could feel its coldness against my ankles and through the holes in my sandals. I worked quitely, partly because I did not want to disturb anyone from their sleep, and also partly because I was afriad of the dark. I also tried to stay within the spot that was lighted by the porch light. It was very quiet all around me, and I strained to be even quieter, so that the nonexistent monsters lurking in the darkest parts of my imagination would not find me. After a while, it seemed to get colder, so I quickly finished up with the tent, grabbed a flahslight and some blankets and pillows, and crawled inside my pink hello-kitty castle that seemed so out of place in the dark night.

As I worked, I had not been focusing on the treasures of nature, just on the hooks and clips of the tent. After I settled down in the tent, though, I decided enjoy them. I opened the flaps on the mesh windows so that the wet scent of rain could flood through the tent, making me feel more in synch with the earth. I like the smell of rain. It’s fresh and clean and wet, and it always make me feel like dancing around in joy. I have no idea why, but it does. I could also detect another smell—being so close to the ground, I could also smell the grass. The grass smelled a bit similar to the rain (probably because it had been thoroughly soaked by it), but more earthy. Aside from the rain and grass, there were a few other smell I couldn’t place. Maybe dirt, and leaves, and…. some other stuff.. I sat back and let the scents of the night flow through my tent, in one window and out the other.

Lying underneath that pile of blankets, my senses were as sensitive as ever. Aside from the smells, I could also hear many things, not all of them pleasant. There was the chirping of crickets, loud and clear outside my tent. Chirp! Chirp! There was also a lower noise I’m familiar with in a night scene, but I have no idea what kind of insects make it. It was a cross between a chirp and a buzz, and it was lower in pitch than the high chrips of a cricket, and blends in more with the background. It didn’t sound as good as a cricket’s chirp, but wwas longer and just as constant. A third noise came and went. It sounded like a cricket, but louder, and doesn’t pause (until it just stops chirping entirely, and starts again after a few minutes). It was also shriller, and reminds me of a frog’s croak. It sounded like it was coming from right outside my window. I couldn’t see anything, though. It was very annoying. After a while, it stopped and didn’t sound again. A big wind came and blew through the trees, making a gentle (or creepy, depends on how you intepret it) swwsssshhh around the yard. Soon, bit by bit, the repeatative sounds began to rock me to sleep.

Before I fell asleep again, though (remember that it was around five in the morning, so I was bound to be tired), I noticed another sounds that was a bit disturbing. It was still dark outside, and once I stopped paying attention to the pleasant sounds, I start noticing just how dark it was. I had turned the porch light off before I crawled into the tent, and left another very very dim light on in the driveway. That light doesn’t help, it only creates creepy shadows and scary shapes. As much as I tried not to, my ears acted on their own and started listening for noises that meant danger!! Of course, once I start listening for those noises, I was guaranteed to find some.

To my right, there was a scuffle. Then, sounds of twigs breaking. Footsteps? No, it sounded too small and quiet for a human. An animal? Maybe maybe not. Not knowing what was making that noise was worse than just hearing it. Then, in the direction of my head, I heard another few twigs snapping, and a few tiny little grunting sounds. Was it just my imagination, or was a small animal scuffling around my yard that night? When I first heard the noises, I was scared to death. I’m a very jumpy person, expecially when I’m alone outside in the pitch-black night. Timidly, I looked outside, but couldn’t see anything but grass and darkness. After a few minutes and more tiny grunts and sounds of something rubbing against the grass, I decided that it was probably a squirrel or one of those two bunnies that comes to our yard frequently. After I knew what the noise was (or thought I knew), I felt much better, and could go to sleep peacefully.

But no! Something else was getting to me. It was cold. I had a blanket laided out on the tent bottom because the bottom was very thin, and another piece of blanket over me. But it was still cold. The windows made it cooler. I swear the walls were wet, even though they’re supposed to be waterproof. Another gust of wind blew, and I felt the tent shake. All the better. I thought. I’m not supposed to be sleeping anyway. I’m supposed to be working on my other homeworks when my one hour outside at night is finished. However, I was too tired. So after about an hour and a half, the chirps of the insects, the swooshes of the trees, and the smells of the night finally lulled me to sleep.

Spending my night outside was nowhere as pleasant as Thoreau had made it seen in his writing “Night and Moonlight”. It was scary, it was creepy, and it froze me half to death (that may be my fault. I should’ve picked a warmer night and more blankets). Some people say I probably should’ve done my night outside during a full moon, but my reasoning was: A night with a round moon is only roughly two or three nights out of 30, so if I did my night outside on a full moon, I would only be experiencing less than 10% of what most nights in nature are like. Therefore, to experience nature better, it was better to do this on a completely random night (I actually made this reason up after I did my night in nature so I wouldn’t seem too foolish).

As I was saying, my night outside was not what Thoreau talked about. Especially since there was no moon. The stars were out, though, and they were really pretty. One thing that Thoreau got right was the hightened senses. Since I couldn’t see that well, I really had to rely on my senses to figure out what was going on. Smell, sound, and feeling/touch. Taste didn’t help much.

Another thing I agree with Thoreau on that special moment in mornings, when I first wake u. The best part of my whole nature experience was waking up to the fresh smell of morning, to the pale blue sky shining with a white, glowing creasant moon. The morning breeze felt so different from the night’s, gentler, a cool wake-up call through the fresh green grass insead of a strong giant running through the trees, threatening to knock me down. Even the sounds are diffferent. The low buzzing of the anonymous insect was gone. The chirping of the crickets were still there, bright and happy. Most abundant was the birds, calling this way and that, and their bright songs lifted up my spirit, and made me feel happy and positive that I can do anything. I hadn’t believe what Thoreau said about morning in nature until I experienced it myself. Nobody was awake yet, so I rested for a while in the gentleness of the morning before I finally had to get busy again.

All in all, it was a pleasant experience. I enjoyed being part of nature, and being enveloped by the scents and sounds of a night and morning in nature. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I think I might do it again someday! Thoreau was right. Spening time outside and being a part of nature truly was a special and precious experience.