The US military finally hunts down and kills Osama Bin Laden. Osama is lifted to the pearly gates.

There, he is greeted by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation
I helped conceive!" yells Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans'
liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.

James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal
government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on
Osama's knee.

Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James
Monroe, and 65 other American patriots.

As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back
toward the gate where he is to be judged. As Osama awaits his journey to
his final very hot destination, he screams "this is not what I was promised!"

An angel replies "I told you if you died attacking America there would be
72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What the heck did you think I said?"