白爺胡言亂語話女人
馬王堆
話說這白爺背叛了蒙面大俠，把聯絡圖給了木郎中，拿了三百兩白花花的銀子，第二天就離開了木家。您想啊，這蒙面大俠能放過他嗎。幾番截殺，白爺險些喪命。無路可走，白爺只好含淚離開了龍鄉，懷裡揣着三百兩銀子，飄洋過海，浪跡天涯了。。。
N 年之後，白爺衣錦還鄉，在春彩飯館見老朋友。大家盡釋前嫌，暢飲敘舊。這白爺還是不勝酒力，幾輪下來，就爛醉如泥，耍起酒瘋，胡言亂語，說起了他吃完“三鬼吃”後，浪跡天涯，周遊列國找女人的事了。。。
*************
WHITE WOMEN:
First date:
You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date:
You get to grope all over her and make out a bit.
Third date:
You get to have sex, but only when she wants to, and only in the missionary position.
*************
IRISH WOMEN:
First Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
*************
ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date:
You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date:
You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs.
Third Date:
You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary:
You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary:
You find yourself a Mistress.
*************
ASIAN WOMEN:
First date:
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date:
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date:
You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing is ever going to happen.
*************
INDIAN WOMEN:
First date:
Meet her parents.
Second date:
Set the date of the wedding.
Third date:
Wedding night.
*************
BLACK WOMEN:
First Date:
You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date:
You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date:
You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date:
She's pregnant by someone other than you.
*************
MEXICAN WOMEN:
First Date:
You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date:
She's pregnant.
Third Date:
She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in, and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.
*************
JEWISH WOMEN:
First Date:
You will have to spend all your money to impress
Second Date:
You will take a loan to keep the image
Third Date :
Your are broke. She finds someone wealthier
*************
ARAB WOMEN:
First Date:
Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles,
Friends and entire Arab community finds out.
Second Date:
You are shot dead.
No third date
白爺這一頓醉話完了，大家都是目瞪口呆，＂白爺，您這說的是人話嗎？咱大夥怎麼都聽不明白您這是說什麼呢？＂ 原來，白爺酒後口吐洋文”（不對，是＂英哥利希＂），完全不知他已經回到龍鄉。
