白爷胡言乱语话女人
马王堆
话说这白爷背叛了蒙面大侠，把联络图给了木郎中，拿了三百两白花花的银子，第二天就离开了木家。您想啊，这蒙面大侠能放过他吗。几番截杀，白爷险些丧命。无路可走，白爷只好含泪离开了龙乡，怀里揣着三百两银子，飘洋过海，浪迹天涯了。。。
N 年之后，白爷衣锦还乡，在春彩饭馆见老朋友。大家尽释前嫌，畅饮叙旧。这白爷还是不胜酒力，几轮下来，就烂醉如泥，耍起酒疯，胡言乱语，说起了他吃完“三鬼吃”后，浪迹天涯，周游列国找女人的事了。。。
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WHITE WOMEN:
First date:
You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date:
You get to grope all over her and make out a bit.
Third date:
You get to have sex, but only when she wants to, and only in the missionary position.
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IRISH WOMEN:
First Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
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ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date:
You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date:
You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs.
Third Date:
You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary:
You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary:
You find yourself a Mistress.
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ASIAN WOMEN:
First date:
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date:
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date:
You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing is ever going to happen.
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INDIAN WOMEN:
First date:
Meet her parents.
Second date:
Set the date of the wedding.
Third date:
Wedding night.
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BLACK WOMEN:
First Date:
You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date:
You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date:
You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date:
She's pregnant by someone other than you.
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MEXICAN WOMEN:
First Date:
You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date:
She's pregnant.
Third Date:
She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in, and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.
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JEWISH WOMEN:
First Date:
You will have to spend all your money to impress
Second Date:
You will take a loan to keep the image
Third Date :
Your are broke. She finds someone wealthier
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ARAB WOMEN:
First Date:
Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles,
Friends and entire Arab community finds out.
Second Date:
You are shot dead.
No third date
白爷这一顿醉话完了，大家都是目瞪口呆，＂白爷，您这说的是人话吗？咱大伙怎么都听不明白您这是说什么呢？＂ 原来，白爷酒后口吐洋文”（不对，是＂英哥利希＂），完全不知他已经回到龙乡。
