老美看中國：想傳宗接代嗎

找不到老婆也無所謂， 男人多過女人的邏輯思維

文/他爹   翻譯/ 他娘

今天我看了一個在中國叫“百里挑一”的相親短片。和其他情景劇一樣，頗具娛樂性，但與其他情景劇相比，這個短劇赤裸裸地把真實的社會問題擺了出來---中國人口男女比例的嚴重失調。

看完此劇後（一個小公主無情且嚴厲地給那個年輕男子評級）。我請我的妻子回答我幾個問題，她是地道的中國人。不管我怎麼努力，我總是無法理解這種文化。對我來說，這是與邏輯相背的。

自從中國1979年 實行一胎化政策以來，男女比例失調一直在增長。從歷史和文化的角度看，一直是重視兒子的，因為他們能做工，繼承家族生意，父母年老後撫養老人，並且傳承家 族姓氏。幾乎人類歷史上任何地方都是如此。婦女，和女孩，只是他們丈夫和家庭的“財產”而已，而不是公民。這不是我現在的觀點，從來也不是，但是，不管對 與錯，這就是歷史。

然而，當我思考這個問題的時候，我忍不住想到中國今天有六千到八千萬男子找不到老婆的現象是怎麼發生的，那是絕對瘋狂，令人不可思議的。

如果每個家庭只能有一個孩子，所有的人都只要兒子來傳宗接代，這整個思路本身就已經決定了社會上將會有很多男人。但是，問題是這個想讓兒子繼承家族姓氏的思路實際上產生了絕對相反的結果。男孩如果沒有女孩來配，那他們的家族姓氏在他那一代就絕種了。

所以，生女孩被人瞧不起---但是，當女孩長到18歲 或更大一點的時候，卻又比那些家族希望擁有的兒子更值錢。那麼，如果我是投資人，我會希望有個良好的長線投資，在那個社會，我會要許多女兒，當她們結婚 時，會要求男方和他的家庭付給我女兒一大筆錢，因為，我給他們提供女兒去為他們傳宗接代。那樣才公平，對不？否則，男方家庭可以像恐龍那樣絕種，關我啥事 呢。反正會有許多其他的男孩追求我的女兒。

但是，有趣的是社會本身就錯了---男孩這麼值錢，你在他們身上的投資，到頭來變得一文不值！畢竟，如果你有一個兒子，而他又找不到老婆來繼承你的姓氏，他有啥價值呢？你不會永遠活着—但是你的姓氏會。但是如果你沒有孫子，因為你兒子是那遠遠超過可以結婚的女兒人數的六千萬男子中的一員，那麼你將沒有什麼傳承可言。

這是誰的錯呢？是那些社會中自私的想要保留他們自己文化和傳統的人的錯。但是他們不明白他們試圖保存的東西實際上卻被他們的行動所毀壞。

如何改變這種失衡？哈，老實說，中國政府並沒有請我當顧問，如果他們請我，我會這麼建議：

1.      簡單的說，就是重視女嬰。給那些生女兒的家庭稅收優惠。給他們更好的受教育機會。給那些生女孩的家長特殊的退休好好處，銀行貸款，生意機會，

2.      就像鄧小平“致富光榮”改變了中國人的思想一樣，應該有一個類似“生女兒是和諧社會的基礎”的計劃取而代之。（一群男人在外面晃蕩是很危險的，不如讓他們回家去和老婆呆在一起，你明白我的意思的。）

中國聞名於出口各種產品。也許他們可以進口女孩或婦女。給他們提供教育機會，優厚的住房條件，如果嫁中國男人就給獎金，如果生女兒又另外有獎。

如果中國採取上述策略，六千萬女孩和適婚婦女短缺的問題就會很快消失，消失的速度會比你能說“你願意嫁給我嗎？”還要快。 那些出口自己的適婚婦女的國家最終也會說他們與中國進行了有意義的貿易，且幫助中國通過“中國新娘” 和他們中國出生的孩子出口他們的文化到世界各地。也許這還能舒緩國家之間的緊張關係。

但是，有件事情是確定的----如果比例失衡繼續增長---中國社會將面臨嚴重的滯後及其後果，因為太多的人在當今環境需要改變時卻死守傳統不放手，而這個改變是對社會有益的，---不是毀掉它。

 在一個女孩不夠的男人世界，是沒有丑姑娘的。

（原文） 

WHAT’S IN A NAME?

IF YOU CAN’T FIND A WIFE IT DOESN’T MATTER

And

The Illogical Process That Creates More Men than Women

                                                                                                By Tadie

I watched a brief news clip today about a “dating” show in China call “ 1 in a 100”. Like most reality tv shows it was entertaining but unlike other reality tv shows this one lays bare a very real societal issue – the huge imbalance between the male and female population in China.

After watching the show ( and the little princesses who unmercifully and harshly graded the young men ) I asked my own wife, a native of China, to answer a couple of things I just can’t understand about the culture no matter how hard I try because to me it defies logic.

The huge imbalance has been growing since 1979 when China instituted a one child policy. Historically and culturally sons have always been preferred because they can work, take over a family business, provide for parents in their old age and carry on the family name. Nearly all cultures everywhere through human history they all have held such views. Women, and girls, have always been more of a “property” to their husbands or families than they ever were as citizens. It’s not my view now and it never has been – but, that is its history right or wrong.

However, as I ponder this dynamic I can’t help but think of the absolute lunacy that has led to the point where now there are 60million to 80 million men who can’t find wives in China.

If families can only have 1 child, and all they want is a son so there is an heir to carry on the family name , the whole process itself will make sure that you will have many men in the society .but the problem is that the very thought process that created so many men for the purpose of carrying on the family name actually results in absolutely the opposite being true. If there are no girls for the sons the name dies during that generation.

So, giving birth to daughters is frowned upon and they are looked down upon – but by the time that girl is 18 years old or older she is much more valuable than the boy her parents had hoped to have. So, if I were an investor and I wanted a good long term investment I would have many daughters in a society like that and demand, when they got married, that her new husband and his family pay an enormous price to my daughter and to me for providing a daughter so they can carry on their family name. It’s only fair right? Otherwise their family can go extinct, like the dinosaurs, I don’t care. There are lots of other young men to court my daughter.

 But, it’s interesting that society itself gets it wrong – that boys are so valued that the value you place on them will eventually make of no value! After all, if you have a son and he can’t find a wife to carry on your name what value is he? You can’t live forever – but your name can. But if you have no grandchildren because your son is one of the 60 million young men that exceeds the supply of girls available for marriage then you have no legacy to leave.

Who is at fault for this? The very people who through their own selfishness within society wanted something for themselves to maintain tradition and culture – but they don’t understand that the very thing they try to preserve with their actions actually destroys it.

How can this imbalance be corrected? Well, to be honest the government in China hasn’t called me for advice but if they did I would say this:

1.      Make baby girls more valuable, literally. Give tax incentives to those that have daughters. Give them special placements for advanced education opportunities. Give those parents that have daughters special perks for retirement, bank loans, business opportunities, and benefits in retirement.

2.      Just like Deng Xiao Peng changed the mind set of China to understand that “it’s glorious to be wealthy” a similar program needs to be instituted to say “having daughers is the foundation for a harmonious society” ( there’s nothing more dangerous than a bunch of guys hanging out together instead of going home to their wives – if you know what I mean ).

China is well known as the great exporter to the world of many products. Perhaps they could start importing girls or women. Offer them special education opportunities, preferred housing, bonuses if they marry a Chinese man and another bonus if they have a DAUGHTER !

If China followed the above strategy that 60 million shortage of girls and marriage age women would disappear very quickly, faster than you can say “will you marry me “. Countries that exported their marriage aged women could also finally say they have meaningful trade with China and could also help China export some of their own culture around the world thru the “China brides” and their China born children. Perhaps it could even help smooth out tensions between countries.

But, one thing is for sure – if the imbalance continues to grow – Chinese society will face severe repercussions and consequences because too many people have held onto old traditions when the current environment demands change, change that will benefit society – not destroy it.

 When men don't have enough girls, then there will be no ugly girls around.