As a Calvinist, I don’t think grace is irresistible. Don’t get me wrong . . . I believe in all the “doctrines of Grace” that make one a certified Calvinist. All the doctrines presented by the ol’ TULIP acronym are fine and dandy. But the “I” for Irresistible Grace is unfortunate and creates more misconceptions than that memorable flower is worth.

Let me put it plainly: the saving grace that God gives to us is resistible . . . at least in theory.

Wait a minute. I suppose there is a context in which the word “irresistible” might work. Let me try:

I met my wife 19 years ago at a bar called the Dugout (She hates for me to tell this story . . . I, on the other hand, love it!). I was sitting at a table with all my buds when this new waitress walks up to take our order. Now, I was a regular at the Dugout. So much so, I think they still have a seat with my name on it. I knew all the waitresses (some better than I should have). But this night we had a new waitress who was working the bar. Once she caught my eye, it was over. I could not quit staring at her. It was like we were the only two people there. Now, of course, it was “drown night” and I had begun to go overboard with the five dollar all you can drink Milwaukee’s Best. But sober or intoxicated, I could not resist this gal. She was over-the-top, beyond all hopes, beyond all my dreams, and beyond any definition of beautiful I had ever known. She was perfect. I grabbed her as she walked by and the first words I said to her were “Before I get drunk, I want to tell you I love you.” Now, to tell you the truth, I was already drunk. But (thankfully) she was a bit naive. We ended up talking all night. It turned out that she loved Christ too. I was trying to get out of that lifestyle and she would be by my side over the next few years, as it happened. All of this is to say that Kristie was totally irresistible to me. I could not help but look at her. I could not help but love her. I could not help but think of her every moment. I could not help but grab her as she walked by. I could not help but ask her out. I could not help but marry her. And I cannot help but see her as irresistible today.

Sorry for the awkward bar story that may or may not have worked, but if we think of  the word “irresistible” in the way I think of my wife, the “Irresistible” in “Irresistible Grace” might work. You see, Kristie was compelling in every way. Sure, in theory, I could have chosen to stay silent that night. In theory, I could have kept from asking her out. In theory, whether drunk or sober, I could have resisted her. But in reality, I could not. I was overwhelmed to the point that my will was bound to choose according the realization of her beauty.

It is a lot like this with God. Outside of God’s grace, we are uncompelled by His love. We are unimpressed with the Gospel. Outside of God’s grace, we are driven only by our own selfish desires. However, in theory, outside of God’s grace, we could choose Him. In theory, we could recognize our sins and call on Him to save us. But in reality, we never would. In other words, the capability is always present. The will works. We have the ability to choose. We just are completely uncompelled. Augustine said that while we have the ability, we just lack the liberty. I am not sure how well that translates, but it does communicate the essence of what I am trying to say.

When we Calvinists talk about irresistible grace, we are not saying that we are forced into the kingdom against our will. We are not saying that we are dragged to Christ, kicking and screaming. We are not saying that we don’t have free will (a scary word that Calvinists need to be more comfortable using) to choose Him and, in theory, reject Him. What we are saying is that when God opens our heart to Him, it is totally compelling. When God regenerates our mind and will, we see God’s beauty for the first time and we are overwhelmed. We freely choose Him because it just fits, and for the first time, we have the ability to see that it fits.

The story of my wife breaks down due to the fact that there were others there that did not feel as compelled as I did. It is too subjective. However, just imagine if the world was filled only with men. All of these men would have the natural inclination toward the opposite sex rightly functioning. Yet, they have never seen a woman. They know that there is a drive and they want it to be satisfied, yet, they just don’t know how to fill this void. Imagine one day a woman shows up. Suddenly, men see for the first time the object of their need and desire. Every hope is realized right in front of their eyes. There is no doubt that this is the exact piece of the puzzle that their heart was missing. There are two questions that are relevant: 1) Could a man resist this woman? and 2) Would a man resist this woman? The answer to the first is “yes”. In theory, a man could say “Interesting, but I will pass.” But this would never happen. Because the answer to the second question is “No”. While a man could resist this woman, he never would. His drive and need have been realized and satisfied. While he has the ability to resist, his free will will always compel him to chose the woman . . . always.

For the Calvinist, God’s saving grace is very much the same. It is not that God simply fixes our will and leaves us hanging. He introduces Himself to us and His beauty is overwhelming. Yes, in theory, we have the ability to resist Him, but in reality we never would. He lets us know exactly what we need, and offers Himself as the only and perfect solution. We call upon Him every time. This is what the doctrine of irresistible grace is all about. It is grace that opens our eyes and compels us. It is compelling grace (probably a better name). Our choice of God is completely free, since it comes from one with a changed heart that has a sudden realization of who God is, and what He is offering.

Ironically, this is best expressed in a song by Charles Wesley (an Arminian) called And Can it Be:

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

Once the chains fall off, in theory, we could stay in the dungeon, but we never would. In theory, freedom is resistible. In actuality, it is irresistible