Points of Wisdom 經典短句-ZT

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger?" The other woman replied, "Yes I am, I
married the wrong man"

在一個雞尾酒舞會上，一個女人對另外一個女人說：“你結婚戒指帶錯手指了。” 另一個回答說：“嗯，人也嫁錯了。”
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband
wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They
all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

一位女士在“找丈夫”廣告欄目下登了一條啟示。次日她收到了上百封信，內容均是：“我可以把我的丈夫讓給你。”

------------------------------------------------------------------
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better
revenge than to let her keep him.
如果一個女人偷了你的老公，最好的復仇方式便是讓她繼續擁有他。

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Eighty percent of married men cheat in the U.S.A. The
rest cheat in Canada.
在美國80%得男人撒謊，其餘的20%在加拿大撒謊。

-------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she
is finished.

女人要到結婚時才算完整，結婚後便完蛋了。
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I
don't know son, I'm still paying."
小男孩問爸爸：“結婚要花多少錢呀？”
“不知道，”爸爸說，“我還沒付完。”

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of
Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

年輕的兒子問爸爸：“這是真的嗎？ 在非洲的某國家，男人只有在結婚後才知道太太是誰？”
爸爸：“兒子，這種事情在每個國家都發生。”

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what
real happiness was until I got married; and by then it
was too late."
有女人曾曰：“直至結婚我才曉得真正的快樂是什麼，但是已經太晚了。”

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
婚姻便是想象力戰勝智力的成功案例。

--------------------------------------------------------------------
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict
attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

如果你想要引起太太對你的每句話都給與極大重視，那麼，就在夢中說吧。

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.

想想吧，如果不結婚，男人們便會認為自己終生沒有范過什麼錯。
--------------------------------------------------------------------
First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

男一：我太太是個天使！
男二：哥們 你真幸運，我太太她還活着！