When I chose to give my life to myself
I began my mission to search for you
Though then I could not define you
I have always been looking for you so hard
In the noisy crowds
In the city streets
In the mountains, waters, deserts
Everywhere my footprints have been to.
Only occasionally
I see the shadow of your back flashing away at the corner ahead of me
I smell your faint sweetness that I want to deeply breath more
I hear your brisk footsteps walking by me
In a hurry
I run
To catch your hands
But I lose your trace
You approach me at the moments I least expect
Sometimes so suddenly.
Sometimes gradually, slowly .
I feel your existence around me
But I only can see your vague face
You pay me a visit in the spring
Through
The tender green of the trees
The light yellow of the wild flowers
I feel you
In the summer dusk's breeze
I see you
In the autumn's colorful foliage
In the winter
You accompany me
To watch the snowflakes dancing in the wind
I woke up in the middle of the night
Almost no light in the endless darkness
All of a sudden
You came to me through my lover's warm body
You were in his body temperature
Though just for a moment
A current of warmth in my heart
Warmed me up completely at the lonely night
You are everywhere in all forms
Your sporadic short visits always are the gravitation drawing me
Towards the hope for the tomorrow
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