1:

"Hello,doctor, was my operation a success?"

"Sorry mate, my name's Saint Peter."

(“適所施療或可痊我？祈太醫明告。”“歉哉！吾非太醫，聖彼得也。”)

2:

"What is a cow after it is five years old?"

"I don't know."

"Six years old."

（“牛五歲將何變？”“不知也。”“六歲矣。”）

3:

Did you hear about the glowworm that died trying to make love to a lighted cigar?

（傳螢火之蟲有爭交初燃卷艾而斃者，亦事之奇爾。）

4:

Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.

（事既可翌，莫爭今朝。）