父親是2012年元月二日下午5時走的。他在世時，我們很少相聚， 也從未親近過。因他對我動輒打罵，我從小怕他，進而由害怕生厭惡，由厭惡生蔑視，一生都覺得他不是個正常父親。可是，自他去世後，我每次想到他，都倍感他親切可敬，每次都眼淚轉角。我理解， 這便是人間親情。我用英文寫過上十首詩專門紀念他，大概因情真意切，都被較為著名的英文文學雜�野l表過。

日前在網上瀏覽，偶然發現以下這首詩竟然獲美國著名文學雜�摇赌�比爾詩刊》提名為全美著名“小推車”文學獎2012年候選詩，雖最終未能獲獎，實以令人欣慰。現將原詩及中文譯文貼出，可為分享，也為存檔，更為對亡父的懷念。

Kinship: For Yuan Hongqi

Yes, we are father and son, but so often

Did I doubt this simple small biofact:  

We could never say more than three short

Sentences to each other when we met, nor

Did we meet more than three times per year

Before I managed to flee a thousand miles  

Away from you, and later ten thousand away

From your village on this world's other side  

Like other Chinese fathers, you never said  

You loved me, gave me a hug, or touched me

Unless it was a cutting pinch in the arm

Or a heavy hit on the butt, (always in surprise)

While my peers kept bragging aloud

About their great fathers, grandfathers

I looked down upon you, not because of  

Your slight stature, but because of your

Smaller personality, constantly calling you

"A Buddha outside, a Devil at home"

(Of course behind your back), so I used to  

Feel guilty, fearing I could never shed

Any teardrops when you die, just as every

True Confucian son is supposed to

Unlike me and my son, with a big store of

Co-memories ready to share, to cherish

We were born enemies, karma-determined

In our former lives, just as you had explained  

To my mother, (who would be busy filling

In each new crack on our wall, with a big pail

Of muddy mixture every time we met)

Yet ever since your death at the dawn of 2012

I have been haunted by your image, kindly

Smiling, and even sobbed my heart   out  

While dreaming last night: are you there, Dad?

[First published in Mobius: The Poetry Magazine] 

我一共5次被提名獲美國著名“小推車”文學獎。以下順便貼出存檔∶∶

1. "Kinship: for Yuan Hongqi." nominated by Mobius for a Pushcart Prize for 2012 [鏈接link:: http://www.mobiuspoetry.com/prizeawards.htm];

2. "SAWS: A Seasonal Poem," nominated by Wilderness House Literary Review for a Pushcart prize for 2011. [鏈接 link:: http://www.fictionaut.com/forums/general/threads/1448];

3. "Word Collage: A Democratic Poem," nominated by Carcinogenic Poetry (Virgogray Press) for a Puschcart prize for 2010. [鏈接 link:: http://virgograypress.com/2010/11/25/2010-virgogray-press-pushcart-prize-nominees/];

4. "S. E. W. N," nominated by Blue Fifth Review for a Pushcart Prize for 2009. [鏈接 http://samofthetenthousandthings.blogspot.com/2009/11/bfrs-pushcart-nominations.html]. Also, originally published by BFR, my poem "Last Single Sale" was selected for inclusion in Best New Poems Online;

5. "Chansons of a Chinaman," nominated by my first poetry book publisher Leaf Garden Press for a Pushcart Prize for 2009. [鏈接  link:: http://leafgardenpress.blogspot.com/].