有一个弟兄强调：我得先听妻子的话，让她心里有了平安，我才可以去参加教会服事。

Comment: Paradoxically the brother is walking on a haywire. Paul exhorts Christians to manage one's own household well before entrusted with leadership (bishop and deacon) responsibilities in God's church. But not all church service requires such a high prerequisite. Many require lay people's voluntary services, as common as cleaning up the floor, child care, A/V recording, bulletin typing, etc.

This brother should heed to the instruction of Jesus first, not kotowing to his wife's unprincipled demands. His leadership role is not to accommodate to her unbiblical demand, but to lovingly motivate, mobilize and re-align her and his life's priorities along the common calling from Christ: imitate Christ to be his disciples and witness Christ to make disciples. To serve in God's church is a must, not a negotiable option. Remember Jesus' stern admonition to those who wish to care first their family affairs before seeking the Kingdom of God? Jesus simply dismissed them as unworthy of His Kingdom.

他们夫妻都信主，弟兄较火热，妻子较冷淡。

It is rare to have both equally zealous for the Lord.

结果就是：往往因为他没有哄得妻子心里有平安而影响了他的教会服事。妻子不让他去教会，他就不能去教会，因为不听他妻子的话，他妻子心里就没有平安。

This is a typical screw-up. Why not solicit her for service together? They are partners in church service as well as in life.