The Horse Whisperer and At First Sight

This week was my so called vacation, which was much busier than any normal weeks. But I did manage to finish Nicholas Sparks’ At First Sight and read the second half of Nicholas Evans’ The Horse Whisperer.

The Horse Whisperer was adapted into a movie. But the ending in the movie was so different from that in the novel. I like the movie version better because I think it is more realistic and more dignified. I don’t like Tom sort of killing himself at the end of the novel. Sometimes death is just an easy way out. Death might be more dramatic, but not necessarily more tragic.

I do like the rest of the book very much. I like the way Evans described how Annie and Tom made love for the first time and during the next four days in the camping trip. The movie completely omitted this part, which I believe is a mistake. The movie made the story less controversial, but at the same time, less passionate, and not as deep as it could have been.

A conversation between Annie and Tom has provoked my thoughts: during the camping trip, they spent hours talking about their lives. Annie told Tom about meeting her husband Robert and how he’d seemed so clever and dependable, so grown up and yet so sensitive. “And he was still all of those things, a fine, fine man. Their marriage had been good, still was, in many ways. But looking back now, she realized that what she’d wanted from him was actually what she’d lost in her father: stability, security and unquestioning love. These Robert had given her spontaneously and without condition. What she had given him in return was loyalty.”

Annie said, she didn’t mean that she didn’t love her husband Robert. She really loved him, but it’s a love that felt more like gratitude for his love and for the child they had.

I fully understand what she meant because I had experienced similar feelings before. Love is such a complicated thing that it has so many versions and so many faces. Some time, you might sincerely believe you love someone deeply, but wait until someone else hit your heart with full surprise and full power. Part of our soul might be dormant for long time until someday it is awakened by someone unexpectedly. Who is guilty, who is not?

In the book, Annie intended to leave her husband; but in the movie, she chose to go back to her family. The decisions were at the opposite directions, yet both understandable.

Who is your true love? Who should you stay with? The Horse Whisperer threw out these questions for us to ponder upon our real lives.

At First Sight dealt with another issue: how to live with your true love?

Jeremy, a columnist from New York, fell in love at the first sight with Lexie, a librarian in a tiny town of North Carolina. Soon after, he decided to marry her and moved down to her town. Jeremy struggled to adapt into the new life pattern. A mysterious e-mail set off a chain of events that would test the strength of their commitment.

The ending of the story is tragic, which again, I don’t like. As mentioned before, I think sometimes death is just an easy way out, both for the characters and for the author. Despite that, I love this book very much. The tension, the stress, the fight, the passion, the understanding, everything feels so aching real.

I particularly like the wisdom words about marriage from Doris, Lexie’s grandma. She told Lexie, “Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can’t get any better, it will. But as long as you remember that he loves you and you love him – and both of you remember to act that way – you’ll be just fine.”

She was almost like talking about my life. When you think it can’t get any worse, it can. Many times, I thought I had been prepared for the worst, only found out later the worse was yet to come. But we have survived, at least so far.

Doris also said, “All the stress you are both under… that’s called life. And life has a tendency to throw curveballs when you least expect them. Every couple has ups and downs, every couple argues…and couples can’t function without trust…A men promises to do things to keep you happy in the hopes that you, too, will do the things that keep him happy… Men have certain needs, women have different need. If you both realize that, and you both work on meeting each other’s needs, you’ll have a good marriage. And part of that, for both of you, is trust.”

Oh, trust me, I know what stress means, and that is called life, a tough life. Just like other couples, my husband and I have fights. Actually, we fight all the time, maybe a lot more than average couples. Sometimes, I was puzzled: I love my husband the most, yet we fought the hardest. I have been through more than one relationship before, and I have barely fought with any other guys; maybe just because I have never been tested with so many serious challenges in the previous relationships.

Still, I believe we are having a good marriage. He knows my needs, and although he won’t be able to meet all of them, he has been trying his best to accommodate. I think I know most of his needs, and I keep learning and adapting. The process can be painful and time consuming, but it is encouraging to know that we are both working on meeting each other’s needs.

Trust is something that we are never lack of. I trust him completely, and I know that I have his absolute trust. It is not saying that we will never have feelings towards other people outside of our marriage; instead, we believe each other knows how to respond and how to treat spouse with respect.

Believe or not, the book At First Sight was a gift from one of my Ex-s, and my husband knows it. One day I was browsing in a bookstore and this book caught my eyes. I read Nicholas Sparks’ Notebook before and I really love his style. I was thinking whether purchase it or borrow it from the library later. Right at the moment, my phone rang and it was my Ex. When he heard about my interest in the book, he insisted that I purchased it right away and he would pay for it. He said: “I always want to find some appropriate gift for you… Just wish this book is more expensive…”

In the book, Jeremy once asked himself a question: Does trust have to be earned? Or is it simply a matter of faith?

I think trust can be initially established based on faith, but it can be easily destroyed by betrayals or misunderstanding. Most time, we trust people because they look trustworthy and they enhance our feelings and earn more trust overtime. If you already have someone’s trust, please cherish it and don’t play with fire. Once trust is destroyed, it will be extremely hard, if not possible, to earn it back.

Reading is such an enjoyable thing. I just bought four more novels from Nicholas Sparks. More reviews to come, maybe, if I am in the mood then.