獨幕劇

Susan著 小哭譯

戲劇和電影製作不一樣。有幾個要素它們是一樣的——表演、聽指揮、與人合作……但是它們還是非常地不同。在電影中，演員有不只一次機會完成一個場景的表演，即使是演砸了也沒有關係。然而在戲劇中，在觀眾面前表演的時候……他或她就不能演砸了。戲劇中的面部表情和身體語言也不得不表現誇張，因為觀眾不可能在屏幕上可以看到演員的面部表情特寫。有時戲劇比電影更難，但是也依演員和他們的團隊而定。有些人更適合戲劇表演，有些人更適合電影作品。不管哪一種，都要求演員要努力工作，導演就更得努力了。

戲劇比電影更傳統更悠久。攝像機僅在百年前才被發明，而戲劇自從古希臘時代就有了。我有一些拍電影的經驗，我曾經在一個地方電視台幫過忙，自己製作過小電影。我也有當導演、演員和編輯……的經歷。但是我從沒在戲劇方面做過任何事兒。直到現在。

我在學校上戲劇課，我發現我喜歡現場表演。我說這兒並不是想自誇——我認為我是班裡最好的表演者之一。老師也非常喜歡我。那也是為什麼我決定參加獨幕劇的面試（獨幕是指整個故事在一個場景中講完，而更多的專業劇是二或三幕）。嘿，許多演員不如我演得好（我以為），但他們也入選了。所以為什麼我不能試一試呢（再說一次，不是有意自誇）？所以，當我聽說獨幕劇來了的時候，我為這一機會跳了起來。向世界展示我是一個好演員的機會來了！

我的學校（HMS）每年演一次獨幕戲。這是一個課外活動，但不是每個人都能參與。有個面試，想參加的人必須得表演他們將要扮演的角色的一段。三分之一的人會落選；另有三分之一的人得不到他們想要的角色；只有最後三分之一的人能夠演上他們想要的角色。當我去面試的時候我並不知道這些。我一點也不知道面試這事兒具體是怎麼回事兒。所有我知道的是我想去面試我的戲劇課老師負責的戲劇《請核對》裡的一個女主角兒（三個不同的老師有三個不同的戲劇）。還有我知道，我將要和那個演員一起從第一個場景開始讀台詞，我得盡力。

那天，當我邁進音樂室的大門時非常緊張。學校已經放學了，這是我第一次為着一個活動在放學後待在學校。學校的人比我想像的要多。好吧，我真的不知道去期待什麼。我不知道我表現得會不會好，也不知道老師會給我打幾分。象我說的，我對此完全不懂。觀察了一會兒別的人，我摸清了情況。我只需要走到那邊，告訴老師我是誰、我想要表演什麼、我的第二和第三志願是什麼、還有一些我認為重要的信息。然後，我和同一場戲中的另一個面試演員一起表演起我的這一部分。老師很鼓勵人，他們總是送出讚美，但也會建議演員怎麼表演會效果更好。許多人演得很糟糕，但也有一些人演得很棒。當輪到我的時候……

我想我演得還行。不壞。也沒那麼好。首先，我和面試的角色看起來不太像。從審美標準上來看，我不夠漂亮。哦，我認為按多數人的標準，我是一個相當漂亮的人，但不是傳統意義上的漂亮。我不是那種典型的“辣妹”類型。還有我並不真心喜歡我所扮演的角色，所以我沒有太多的激情。那可能就是我沒被選上的原因。因為我不是。我沒有得到我想要的角色。我也沒有得到任何其它的角色。

第二天，查看完那張演員表、發現上面沒有我的名字後，我的心都碎了。我也困惑不解。我知道我不能完美勝任那個“女孩”的角色，但是我總是在哪方面還不錯啊，不對嗎？我是如此確信自己有天份……我也確信老師能夠看到這個天份並用某種方式將它用起來……那麼，為什麼我沒被選上呢？我試着去安慰自己，讓自己恢復自信接受這件事兒，讓自己相信還有別的機會。然而，我還是覺得很傷心。這不是因為我沒有被選上演女主角兒，甚至也不是因為我沒有被選上在劇中演點什麼。我覺得傷心是因為在我看來這事兒代表着我的失敗。我覺得好像這事兒在說我是一個糟糕的演員。而我卻一直認為自己有潛力……

然後，傳來了好消息。我的戲劇老師走過來問我，是否願意當這個劇的副導師。她問我是否覺得責任過大。從她說的來看，聽起來這是一個重要的工作。然後我想……噢，我-的-上-帝。我要當副導演了？噢，上帝啊！太好了！！！她說，當副導演，我可以和老師與演員們親密地合作，將會有一份重大的責任。我只是點着頭，保持着冷靜，向她表明我打算做。當我回到家裡獨自一人時，我興奮得使勁地拍了自己後背一巴掌。

怪不得我的名字沒在那張演員表上！我的名字在那張表之上、老師的名字之下！我是副導演！那比我期望的任何一個都好！太感謝上帝了！我知道我有天賦！讓我當副導演不僅僅是給我一個參與戲劇的機會，也讓我的自信心和自尊心有着巨大的提升。

每一個人（我的劇中的每一個）都很驚訝於我是怎麼當上副導演的。那不是可以進行面試的角色，是老師自己選的。我是戲劇《請核對》的副導演，另外的戲劇都沒有副導演。開始的時候，我擔憂與演員合作不好的話會搞砸了整個劇，現在我也還在擔憂着。我審視着自己的能力，能否同時應付好獨幕劇和我的巨量的家庭作業。發現演男主角兒的那個演員是那種很可愛的類型，並不能提供任何的幫助（我對他不來電，我只是認為他有一點可愛而已）。得到了副導演一職之後的欣喜、感激和驕傲之情過後，我開始擔憂。

不管怎樣，經過周一到周四的排練和與演員們的合作後，我覺得大大地鬆了口氣。我還是有點擔憂，但是更多地，我堅信自己能夠勝任這個工作。我能因為自己的參與使得這個劇變得更好。同時，我也能保住我的學業成績。

我想長大後做與電影（或者戲劇）相關的工作，當一個導演、編輯或演員什麼的。這是向那個夢想邁進的一大步。我也在劇里得到了出演一個老太太和服務員的角色。角色不是非常重要，但也足夠滿足我對表演的渴望了（因為只是坐在幕後，對我這種個性來講也太安靜了），可以滿足我在觀眾面前露露臉的願望。我都等不及周一的排練了，我甚至更等不及表演的那一天了。這個劇將會非常地了不起。我是如此地感謝上帝給了我這樣的一個機會。我發誓，我將盡最大的努力，結果將會令人讚嘆。而不論我決定是做戲劇還是做電影，這都將對我有很大的幫助。感謝讚美上帝。

【小哭介紹背景】這一個機會，來得不是一帆風順，可是也沒有什麼太多的艱辛。Susan 只是在她有興趣的領域盡了力，機會就來了。至於這個機會還會發展成什麼，沒有人知道。我就是希望她能夠開心，能夠在參與活動的過程中提升自己，不管是得到角色後變得更自信，還是落選之後變得更堅強。我知道，沒有一些自信做鋪墊，想要堅強也很難。所以，順利在前總是好，但是挫折總會隨之而來的，生活就是如此。

上次在介紹Susan的文字中，木桐老師提到了他對戲劇課的關注，那就提供更多更詳細的信息吧？不知道是不是過於詳細了。Susan這個人和爸爸一樣，一點也不“八”，所以她的文章中關於別人的介紹部分總是很少，我想從信息獲取的角度來看，如果能夠有別的孩子的信息就更好。本來摩頓那邊有一個孩子也很熱愛寫作，說過要發她的小文給我翻譯，可是直到現在我也沒有收到一篇。那個孩子的業餘生活豐富極了，我想可能會給國內的朋友提供更多的信息，有助於全面了解美國初中生的生活。

我在幾天前，又重操在摩頓時的“舊業”，給老師寫郵件，幫助Susan和老師之間建立起更好的關係，也幫助自己和老師之間建立起聯繫。老師形形色色，聯繫的建立不是我一廂情願才能行，這和Susan在前面文章中對友誼的感慨是類似的。所以我一般願意在老師了解到了孩子的特點、特別是優點之後，再跟老師聯繫，這樣才能有的放矢。我向老師表示了感謝，我給老師介紹了Susan以前在摩頓時創建的俱樂部在電視台有專欄一事兒，我還介紹了Susan對獨幕劇這件事從頭到尾的感受及重視。因為那天已經給兩個老師寫過郵件了，時間馬上就到接小寶放學的時候了，所以寫得很匆忙，回頭查看用詞錯誤不少：（但是老師肯定是能夠理解我這個外國人的。

老師在第二天回信了，說她非常地高興 。一是高興家長能夠有反饋信息，二是高興Susan這樣的孩子會在她的班裡，三是高興於從家長的郵件中看到了孩子不僅僅是在獨幕戲的排演過程中得到了快樂，甚至對孩子未來的發展也有那麼多的好處。老師對Susan的評價遠高過我們，我想老師更客觀，因為我們總是拿Susan和自己小時候的優點相比，而老師是拿Susan和同齡人相比。老師說Susan聰明、有責任心、做事有激情。那就足夠了！老師還說，這個獨幕劇結束後，還會有一個音樂劇，她希望Susan還會參加，不管是繼續當副導演還是上台表演，都行，她會和Susan當面商量。我曾經聽Susan提過此事，我當時覺得她是想繼續當副導演但又怕老師不選她，所以我想着可以在這事上和老師繼續交流，同時我也希望老師能夠更好地了解一下Susan，所以就又回了封郵件，說是聽說Susan想當導演，並順便把Susan的這篇小文發給老師了。不想Susan回家說，她這次想上台表演。我很想讓她當副導演，因為我覺得她的能力不在台前，在幕後。於是問Susan，為什麼這次只能二選一呢？如果上台演一個次要的角色，同時還當副導演， 不是更好嗎？Susan說是哦，怎麼沒想到呢？我覺得她可以在下周跟老師談，我就不再參與這些細節了。這幾天是長周末，老師還沒有回信。但目前來看，回不回信都不重要了，該溝通的已經溝通得差不多了。就是靜待事情往前推進，該出手的時候再出手吧。

我很高興於Susan每每在順利時都會感謝上帝，每每在挫折時也會依靠上帝。信仰的力量是巨大的，它可以讓孩子在培養自信的同時學會謙卑，也可以讓孩子在學會堅強的同時學會交託，我為孩子有信仰感到欣慰和感恩。

附上英文原文：

1-Act Plays

Theater is different from film production. There are a few elements that are the same—acting, following directions, working with other people…. But they are very different. In film, and actor get more than one chance to act out a scene, so it’s alright if he or she messes up. However, in theater, while performing in front of an audience…. He or she can’t mess up. The facial expressions and body language in theater also have to be more exaggerated, because the audience don’t get to see a shot of the actor’s face filling their screen showing their emotions. Theater can be harder than acting sometimes, but it really depends on the actor and their crew. Some people are more suitable for theater acting and some more suitable for film production. Either way, the actors have to work hard, and the directors harder.

Theater has more traditions and is older than movie production. The video camera was only invented a century ago, while theater as been going on since the Acient Greeks. I have had some experience in film production, and I us to help out at a local television station, and film short movies myself. I’ve had experience as a director, an actor (actress?), an editor…. but I have never done anything in the theater. Until now.

I took drama class in school, and I discovered that I love acting live. I’m not bragging when I say this—I think I’m one of the best actors in the class. The teacher likes me a lot too. That’s why I decided to try out for the 1-Act Plays (1-Act because the whole story can be told in one act, while most proffessional plays are two or three acts). Hey, there’s been a lot of actor that (I think) are not as good as me, and they got in. So why shouldn’t I (again, no arrogance intended)? So, when I heard that the 1-Act Play was coming, I jumped at the chance. Time to show the world what a good actor I am!

My school (HMS) does 1-Act Play every year. They’re an after school activity, but not everyone can participate. There are auditions, where people who wants to be in the play have to act out part of the character they’re going to play, and after seeing everyone, the three drama teachers will determine who gets what part. A third of the people that try out usually don’t make it. Another third don’t get the roles they tried out for. Only a third get the part they want. However I didn’t know all of that when I went to the auditions. I was totally clueless as to how this “auditions” thing worked. All I knew was that I want to try out for the leading female role in my drama teacher’s play, “Check Please” (the three different teachers have three differennt plays). And I knew I was going to read from the first scene with that character and do my best.

I was very nervous when I went in the door to the music room that day. It was after school, and it was the first time I’ve stayed after school for an activity. There was more people than I’d expected. Well, I actually didn’t know what to expect. I had no idea whether I’d do good or not, or how the teacher were going to grade me. Like I said, I was totally clueless. After watching other people a while, I got the hang of it. I just go up there, tell the teachers who I am, what I would like to act, my second and third choices, and any other informations that I deem important. Then, I act out my part with another actor that’s auditioning for the other person that’s in the scene. The teachers were really encouraging, they always gave compliments, but also advice for how the actor could’ve acted the scene out better. A lot of people were horrible, but there were also some that were amazing. When it was my turn….

I think I did okay. Not bad. Not that good either. First of all, I don’t look like the character I was auditioning out for. I’m not pretty enough in the standard sense. Oh, I think I’m a rather pretty person by most people’s standards, but I’m not convetionally pretty. Not the typical “hot girl” look. And I didn't really like the role I was playing, so I wasn’t too motivated. That might’ve been why I wasn’t chosen. For I wasn’t. I didn’t get the part I wanted. I didn’t get any other character’s parts either.

The next day, after checking out the sheets to see who were selected, I was heartbroken to see my name wasn’t on the sheet. I was also confused. I know I’m not perfect for the role of “Girl”, but I’m good for something, aren’t I? I was so sure I had talent…. and I was sure that the teacher would see that talent and use it in some way…. so then why wasn’t I chosen? I tried to console myself, and reassure myself that it’s okay, that there will be other chances. However, I felt hurt. Not because I wasn’t chosen to play girl. Not even because I wasn’t chosen to act in the play. I was hurt because I felt like it was a statement of my failure. I felt like it was saying I’m a horrible actor. And all the while I thought I had potential….

Then, good news came. My drama teacher approached me and asked me if I’m okay with my role as the play’s assistant director. She asked me if it was too big of an resposibility for me. From what she said, it sounded like an important job. And I thought……Oh. My. Gosh. I’m AD? OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS AWESOME!!! As assistant director, I would be working closely with her and the actors, and it would be a big responsibility, she said. I just nodded and kept calm, assuring her I’m up for it. When I was alone at home, and I gave myself a huge pat on the back.

No wonder my name wasn’t on the cast list! My name was above that list, underneath the teacher’s name! I’m AD! That’s better than anything I could have every hoped for! Thank God so much! I knew I had talent! Assigning the me as Assistant Director not only gave me a part in the play, it also gave me a huge boost in my confidence and self-esteem.

Everyone (as in everyone that’s in my play) were amazed as to how I could’ve gotten assistant director. It’s not something that I can try out for. The teacher have to pick it. I’m assistant director for the play “Check Please”. None of the other plays have an assistant director. At first, I worried that I’ll mess up the whole play because I couldn’t work with the actor. I still worry that. And I questioned my abilities to juggle the 1-Acts along with my big load of homework. And realizing that I think the actor for the leading male role is kind of cute doesn't help with anything (I do not have a crush on him. I just think he’s a bit cute, that’s all). After getting over my joy and gratefully and pride that I got the job as AD, I started to worry.

However, after a week of rehearsals every schoolday except for Friday and working with the actors. I feel much more relaxed. I still worry a little, but mostly, I’m determined that I will make this work. That I can and I will be able to make the play better because of me. And still keep up my good grades.

I want to be involved in film production (or maybe theater) when I grow up. As a director, editor, or actor. This is a huge step in that direction. I also got parts as an old lady and a waitress in the play. Not very important, but enough that it’ll satisfy my acting needs (because just sitting behind the scenes is too quiet for my nature). And enough to show my face to the audience. I can’t wait for practice on Monday, and I can’t wait even more for the day of our play. It would magneficent. I’m so grateful to God for giving me this opportunity. I swear, I’m going to try my best, and the results will be amazing. And it would help me lots, whether I decide to go into theater or video production. Praise the Lord.