女儿最近写到她的系列故事“第四部”了。遣词造句似乎比较熟练了，知道用些不一样的词来表达类似的“动作”了。问题好像是仍然不太有“情节”的概念，抖包袱的概念，更不用说铺垫，伏笔之类，所以读来平淡（生活可以是“平淡是福”，写故事平淡就没有可读性了）。所以有“瓶颈”的感觉。不过她能以去年回国的经验来编故事，让我觉得挺有意思，应该鼓励。

我问她，“这个RAINBOW GIRLS”的系列准备写多少‘部’啊？”她说“‘HARRY POTTER’有六部（七部？），我得写个十部八部的，超过它。”野心不小啊！：）

Rainbow Girls and the Broken Wall

Chapter 1 One day Melanie and the girls were on another vacation. They were thinking how China would be on the beginning of spring. It was March 20. Birds chirped and flowers bloomed. It was a fantasy. “Beijing, China!” The manager called. When they got there, it was 13˚C. They went to Railroad Hotel to have some lunch.

Chapter 2 After that they went on bus 25. That bus would take them to The Forbidden City. That was where the kings and queens lived hundreds of years ago. When they were done looking at all the palaces they went shopping. Larry gave each of the girls a credit card that was special because they had 1,000,000 dollars in them. They bought shamrock book-bags for the children and a shamrock suit for their teacher, Mr. Bradshaw.

Chapter 3 At 9:00 PM, Melanie did her homework. Everyone else went to get a drink of water. The next day at 9:00 AM they ate breakfast and got on bus 34 because they were going to the Great Wall. When they got there they heard bonging noises. Carson followed the noise with the others behind her.

Chapter 4 Carson peeked through one of the bricks. It was Bad Boy Black. He was planning to destroy the Great Wall so he can steal stuff from Beijing. Lisa was so mad that she wanted to stop him once and for all. She tried to run but she couldn’t because Sarah and Emma were pulling her arm.

Chapter 5 Then oops. Lisa, Sarah, and Emma fell into a hole. Everyone else jumped in. They all landed with a plump. It was dark. Everyone stepped forward and touched the ground. They felt lots of glasses. “Let’s put them on.” Whispered Madison. They put them on. Now they can see in the dark. “This is awesome.” Said Eliza.

Chapter 6 They walked through the dark and cool place. Ruth Rose saw something shine in the distance. “We’re going out!” Yelled Ruth Rose. Bad Boy Black heard that and wondered what it was. They all ran to the shimmering light and carefully got out. Before long they were all safe. That night Melanie thought and thought.

Chapter 7 Morning came. Light shined through the window. Rose still wanted to see the Great Wall. Sparkle was worried because she didn’t want Bad Boy Black stealing all of the things in China. They went on bus 34 to get there. When they got there, Emma heard bonging. Bad Boy Black was still bonging the wall. “Carrot Leech Life!” Ruth Rose shouted. One carrot shot one of the workers. He just fell down.

Chapter 8 Bad Boy Black saw that one of his workers was down. He came over and saw a carrot on his back. “Ruth Rose.” He grumbled. Three days passed. Three more workers hit by carrots. On March 30, Bad Boy Black came to Railroad Hotel. He went into the girl’s room but it was empty. They were in the cafeteria having some lunch

Chapter 9 They knew that he would come because they heard what he said. He got so mad that he stomped through the door. The girls just came back. On April 2, the girls went out to the Great Wall. The workers were still sleeping. “Let’s pick them up and kick them on top of a roof.” Sarah said. Each of them silently picked them up and gave them to Sparkle. Sparkle kicked each one on top of a roof.

Chapter 10 “What about Bad Boy Black?” Madison questioned. “Why you!” It was Bad Boy Black. His face was bright red. “Cherry Crash!” Sarah yelled. Cherries came and hit Bad Boy Black. He screamed. “Golden Beam!” Carson said softly. A light started to move towards him. The next thing they saw was Bad Boy Black lying on ground.

Chapter 11 “Yeah!” The girls cheered. Back at school, they gave everyone their presents, shamrock book-bags and suit. “Thank you!” The children said. Mr. Bradshaw loved his suit. He gave each of the girls a present too. When they opened it they gasped. It was some cellphones the same color of the color that they were. “Thank you!” They said.