独幕剧

Susan著 小哭译

戏剧和电影制作不一样。有几个要素它们是一样的——表演、听指挥、与人合作……但是它们还是非常地不同。在电影中，演员有不只一次机会完成一个场景的表演，即使是演砸了也没有关系。然而在戏剧中，在观众面前表演的时候……他或她就不能演砸了。戏剧中的面部表情和身体语言也不得不表现夸张，因为观众不可能在屏幕上可以看到演员的面部表情特写。有时戏剧比电影更难，但是也依演员和他们的团队而定。有些人更适合戏剧表演，有些人更适合电影作品。不管哪一种，都要求演员要努力工作，导演就更得努力了。

戏剧比电影更传统更悠久。摄像机仅在百年前才被发明，而戏剧自从古希腊时代就有了。我有一些拍电影的经验，我曾经在一个地方电视台帮过忙，自己制作过小电影。我也有当导演、演员和编辑……的经历。但是我从没在戏剧方面做过任何事儿。直到现在。

我在学校上戏剧课，我发现我喜欢现场表演。我说这儿并不是想自夸——我认为我是班里最好的表演者之一。老师也非常喜欢我。那也是为什么我决定参加独幕剧的面试（独幕是指整个故事在一个场景中讲完，而更多的专业剧是二或三幕）。嘿，许多演员不如我演得好（我以为），但他们也入选了。所以为什么我不能试一试呢（再说一次，不是有意自夸）？所以，当我听说独幕剧来了的时候，我为这一机会跳了起来。向世界展示我是一个好演员的机会来了！

我的学校（HMS）每年演一次独幕戏。这是一个课外活动，但不是每个人都能参与。有个面试，想参加的人必须得表演他们将要扮演的角色的一段。三分之一的人会落选；另有三分之一的人得不到他们想要的角色；只有最后三分之一的人能够演上他们想要的角色。当我去面试的时候我并不知道这些。我一点也不知道面试这事儿具体是怎么回事儿。所有我知道的是我想去面试我的戏剧课老师负责的戏剧《请核对》里的一个女主角儿（三个不同的老师有三个不同的戏剧）。还有我知道，我将要和那个演员一起从第一个场景开始读台词，我得尽力。

那天，当我迈进音乐室的大门时非常紧张。学校已经放学了，这是我第一次为着一个活动在放学后待在学校。学校的人比我想像的要多。好吧，我真的不知道去期待什么。我不知道我表现得会不会好，也不知道老师会给我打几分。象我说的，我对此完全不懂。观察了一会儿别的人，我摸清了情况。我只需要走到那边，告诉老师我是谁、我想要表演什么、我的第二和第三志愿是什么、还有一些我认为重要的信息。然后，我和同一场戏中的另一个面试演员一起表演起我的这一部分。老师很鼓励人，他们总是送出赞美，但也会建议演员怎么表演会效果更好。许多人演得很糟糕，但也有一些人演得很棒。当轮到我的时候……

我想我演得还行。不坏。也没那么好。首先，我和面试的角色看起来不太像。从审美标准上来看，我不够漂亮。哦，我认为按多数人的标准，我是一个相当漂亮的人，但不是传统意义上的漂亮。我不是那种典型的“辣妹”类型。还有我并不真心喜欢我所扮演的角色，所以我没有太多的激情。那可能就是我没被选上的原因。因为我不是。我没有得到我想要的角色。我也没有得到任何其它的角色。

第二天，查看完那张演员表、发现上面没有我的名字后，我的心都碎了。我也困惑不解。我知道我不能完美胜任那个“女孩”的角色，但是我总是在哪方面还不错啊，不对吗？我是如此确信自己有天份……我也确信老师能够看到这个天份并用某种方式将它用起来……那么，为什么我没被选上呢？我试着去安慰自己，让自己恢复自信接受这件事儿，让自己相信还有别的机会。然而，我还是觉得很伤心。这不是因为我没有被选上演女主角儿，甚至也不是因为我没有被选上在剧中演点什么。我觉得伤心是因为在我看来这事儿代表着我的失败。我觉得好像这事儿在说我是一个糟糕的演员。而我却一直认为自己有潜力……

然后，传来了好消息。我的戏剧老师走过来问我，是否愿意当这个剧的副导师。她问我是否觉得责任过大。从她说的来看，听起来这是一个重要的工作。然后我想……噢，我-的-上-帝。我要当副导演了？噢，上帝啊！太好了！！！她说，当副导演，我可以和老师与演员们亲密地合作，将会有一份重大的责任。我只是点着头，保持着冷静，向她表明我打算做。当我回到家里独自一人时，我兴奋得使劲地拍了自己后背一巴掌。

怪不得我的名字没在那张演员表上！我的名字在那张表之上、老师的名字之下！我是副导演！那比我期望的任何一个都好！太感谢上帝了！我知道我有天赋！让我当副导演不仅仅是给我一个参与戏剧的机会，也让我的自信心和自尊心有着巨大的提升。

每一个人（我的剧中的每一个）都很惊讶于我是怎么当上副导演的。那不是可以进行面试的角色，是老师自己选的。我是戏剧《请核对》的副导演，另外的戏剧都没有副导演。开始的时候，我担忧与演员合作不好的话会搞砸了整个剧，现在我也还在担忧着。我审视着自己的能力，能否同时应付好独幕剧和我的巨量的家庭作业。发现演男主角儿的那个演员是那种很可爱的类型，并不能提供任何的帮助（我对他不来电，我只是认为他有一点可爱而已）。得到了副导演一职之后的欣喜、感激和骄傲之情过后，我开始担忧。

不管怎样，经过周一到周四的排练和与演员们的合作后，我觉得大大地松了口气。我还是有点担忧，但是更多地，我坚信自己能够胜任这个工作。我能因为自己的参与使得这个剧变得更好。同时，我也能保住我的学业成绩。

我想长大后做与电影（或者戏剧）相关的工作，当一个导演、编辑或演员什么的。这是向那个梦想迈进的一大步。我也在剧里得到了出演一个老太太和服务员的角色。角色不是非常重要，但也足够满足我对表演的渴望了（因为只是坐在幕后，对我这种个性来讲也太安静了），可以满足我在观众面前露露脸的愿望。我都等不及周一的排练了，我甚至更等不及表演的那一天了。这个剧将会非常地了不起。我是如此地感谢上帝给了我这样的一个机会。我发誓，我将尽最大的努力，结果将会令人赞叹。而不论我决定是做戏剧还是做电影，这都将对我有很大的帮助。感谢赞美上帝。

【小哭介绍背景】这一个机会，来得不是一帆风顺，可是也没有什么太多的艰辛。Susan 只是在她有兴趣的领域尽了力，机会就来了。至于这个机会还会发展成什么，没有人知道。我就是希望她能够开心，能够在参与活动的过程中提升自己，不管是得到角色后变得更自信，还是落选之后变得更坚强。我知道，没有一些自信做铺垫，想要坚强也很难。所以，顺利在前总是好，但是挫折总会随之而来的，生活就是如此。

上次在介绍Susan的文字中，木桐老师提到了他对戏剧课的关注，那就提供更多更详细的信息吧？不知道是不是过于详细了。Susan这个人和爸爸一样，一点也不“八”，所以她的文章中关于别人的介绍部分总是很少，我想从信息获取的角度来看，如果能够有别的孩子的信息就更好。本来摩顿那边有一个孩子也很热爱写作，说过要发她的小文给我翻译，可是直到现在我也没有收到一篇。那个孩子的业余生活丰富极了，我想可能会给国内的朋友提供更多的信息，有助于全面了解美国初中生的生活。

我在几天前，又重操在摩顿时的“旧业”，给老师写邮件，帮助Susan和老师之间建立起更好的关系，也帮助自己和老师之间建立起联系。老师形形色色，联系的建立不是我一厢情愿才能行，这和Susan在前面文章中对友谊的感慨是类似的。所以我一般愿意在老师了解到了孩子的特点、特别是优点之后，再跟老师联系，这样才能有的放矢。我向老师表示了感谢，我给老师介绍了Susan以前在摩顿时创建的俱乐部在电视台有专栏一事儿，我还介绍了Susan对独幕剧这件事从头到尾的感受及重视。因为那天已经给两个老师写过邮件了，时间马上就到接小宝放学的时候了，所以写得很匆忙，回头查看用词错误不少：（但是老师肯定是能够理解我这个外国人的。

老师在第二天回信了，说她非常地高兴 。一是高兴家长能够有反馈信息，二是高兴Susan这样的孩子会在她的班里，三是高兴于从家长的邮件中看到了孩子不仅仅是在独幕戏的排演过程中得到了快乐，甚至对孩子未来的发展也有那么多的好处。老师对Susan的评价远高过我们，我想老师更客观，因为我们总是拿Susan和自己小时候的优点相比，而老师是拿Susan和同龄人相比。老师说Susan聪明、有责任心、做事有激情。那就足够了！老师还说，这个独幕剧结束后，还会有一个音乐剧，她希望Susan还会参加，不管是继续当副导演还是上台表演，都行，她会和Susan当面商量。我曾经听Susan提过此事，我当时觉得她是想继续当副导演但又怕老师不选她，所以我想着可以在这事上和老师继续交流，同时我也希望老师能够更好地了解一下Susan，所以就又回了封邮件，说是听说Susan想当导演，并顺便把Susan的这篇小文发给老师了。不想Susan回家说，她这次想上台表演。我很想让她当副导演，因为我觉得她的能力不在台前，在幕后。于是问Susan，为什么这次只能二选一呢？如果上台演一个次要的角色，同时还当副导演， 不是更好吗？Susan说是哦，怎么没想到呢？我觉得她可以在下周跟老师谈，我就不再参与这些细节了。这几天是长周末，老师还没有回信。但目前来看，回不回信都不重要了，该沟通的已经沟通得差不多了。就是静待事情往前推进，该出手的时候再出手吧。

我很高兴于Susan每每在顺利时都会感谢上帝，每每在挫折时也会依靠上帝。信仰的力量是巨大的，它可以让孩子在培养自信的同时学会谦卑，也可以让孩子在学会坚强的同时学会交托，我为孩子有信仰感到欣慰和感恩。

附上英文原文：

1-Act Plays

Theater is different from film production. There are a few elements that are the same—acting, following directions, working with other people…. But they are very different. In film, and actor get more than one chance to act out a scene, so it’s alright if he or she messes up. However, in theater, while performing in front of an audience…. He or she can’t mess up. The facial expressions and body language in theater also have to be more exaggerated, because the audience don’t get to see a shot of the actor’s face filling their screen showing their emotions. Theater can be harder than acting sometimes, but it really depends on the actor and their crew. Some people are more suitable for theater acting and some more suitable for film production. Either way, the actors have to work hard, and the directors harder.

Theater has more traditions and is older than movie production. The video camera was only invented a century ago, while theater as been going on since the Acient Greeks. I have had some experience in film production, and I us to help out at a local television station, and film short movies myself. I’ve had experience as a director, an actor (actress?), an editor…. but I have never done anything in the theater. Until now.

I took drama class in school, and I discovered that I love acting live. I’m not bragging when I say this—I think I’m one of the best actors in the class. The teacher likes me a lot too. That’s why I decided to try out for the 1-Act Plays (1-Act because the whole story can be told in one act, while most proffessional plays are two or three acts). Hey, there’s been a lot of actor that (I think) are not as good as me, and they got in. So why shouldn’t I (again, no arrogance intended)? So, when I heard that the 1-Act Play was coming, I jumped at the chance. Time to show the world what a good actor I am!

My school (HMS) does 1-Act Play every year. They’re an after school activity, but not everyone can participate. There are auditions, where people who wants to be in the play have to act out part of the character they’re going to play, and after seeing everyone, the three drama teachers will determine who gets what part. A third of the people that try out usually don’t make it. Another third don’t get the roles they tried out for. Only a third get the part they want. However I didn’t know all of that when I went to the auditions. I was totally clueless as to how this “auditions” thing worked. All I knew was that I want to try out for the leading female role in my drama teacher’s play, “Check Please” (the three different teachers have three differennt plays). And I knew I was going to read from the first scene with that character and do my best.

I was very nervous when I went in the door to the music room that day. It was after school, and it was the first time I’ve stayed after school for an activity. There was more people than I’d expected. Well, I actually didn’t know what to expect. I had no idea whether I’d do good or not, or how the teacher were going to grade me. Like I said, I was totally clueless. After watching other people a while, I got the hang of it. I just go up there, tell the teachers who I am, what I would like to act, my second and third choices, and any other informations that I deem important. Then, I act out my part with another actor that’s auditioning for the other person that’s in the scene. The teachers were really encouraging, they always gave compliments, but also advice for how the actor could’ve acted the scene out better. A lot of people were horrible, but there were also some that were amazing. When it was my turn….

I think I did okay. Not bad. Not that good either. First of all, I don’t look like the character I was auditioning out for. I’m not pretty enough in the standard sense. Oh, I think I’m a rather pretty person by most people’s standards, but I’m not convetionally pretty. Not the typical “hot girl” look. And I didn't really like the role I was playing, so I wasn’t too motivated. That might’ve been why I wasn’t chosen. For I wasn’t. I didn’t get the part I wanted. I didn’t get any other character’s parts either.

The next day, after checking out the sheets to see who were selected, I was heartbroken to see my name wasn’t on the sheet. I was also confused. I know I’m not perfect for the role of “Girl”, but I’m good for something, aren’t I? I was so sure I had talent…. and I was sure that the teacher would see that talent and use it in some way…. so then why wasn’t I chosen? I tried to console myself, and reassure myself that it’s okay, that there will be other chances. However, I felt hurt. Not because I wasn’t chosen to play girl. Not even because I wasn’t chosen to act in the play. I was hurt because I felt like it was a statement of my failure. I felt like it was saying I’m a horrible actor. And all the while I thought I had potential….

Then, good news came. My drama teacher approached me and asked me if I’m okay with my role as the play’s assistant director. She asked me if it was too big of an resposibility for me. From what she said, it sounded like an important job. And I thought……Oh. My. Gosh. I’m AD? OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS AWESOME!!! As assistant director, I would be working closely with her and the actors, and it would be a big responsibility, she said. I just nodded and kept calm, assuring her I’m up for it. When I was alone at home, and I gave myself a huge pat on the back.

No wonder my name wasn’t on the cast list! My name was above that list, underneath the teacher’s name! I’m AD! That’s better than anything I could have every hoped for! Thank God so much! I knew I had talent! Assigning the me as Assistant Director not only gave me a part in the play, it also gave me a huge boost in my confidence and self-esteem.

Everyone (as in everyone that’s in my play) were amazed as to how I could’ve gotten assistant director. It’s not something that I can try out for. The teacher have to pick it. I’m assistant director for the play “Check Please”. None of the other plays have an assistant director. At first, I worried that I’ll mess up the whole play because I couldn’t work with the actor. I still worry that. And I questioned my abilities to juggle the 1-Acts along with my big load of homework. And realizing that I think the actor for the leading male role is kind of cute doesn't help with anything (I do not have a crush on him. I just think he’s a bit cute, that’s all). After getting over my joy and gratefully and pride that I got the job as AD, I started to worry.

However, after a week of rehearsals every schoolday except for Friday and working with the actors. I feel much more relaxed. I still worry a little, but mostly, I’m determined that I will make this work. That I can and I will be able to make the play better because of me. And still keep up my good grades.

I want to be involved in film production (or maybe theater) when I grow up. As a director, editor, or actor. This is a huge step in that direction. I also got parts as an old lady and a waitress in the play. Not very important, but enough that it’ll satisfy my acting needs (because just sitting behind the scenes is too quiet for my nature). And enough to show my face to the audience. I can’t wait for practice on Monday, and I can’t wait even more for the day of our play. It would magneficent. I’m so grateful to God for giving me this opportunity. I swear, I’m going to try my best, and the results will be amazing. And it would help me lots, whether I decide to go into theater or video production. Praise the Lord.