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小哭: 女儿的第一次约会:初中毕业舞会
送交者: 小哭 2014年06月03日16:30:07 于 [海 二 代] 发送悄悄话

Susan八年级校园生活(29)--勇敢的亚洲小妞(初中毕业舞会前)


Susan 小哭译

你听过有关八年级的毕业舞会吗?我是没有。通常,毕业舞会是高中毕业生和大学毕业生的专利。所以,当我听到我们初中将举办一场给如我一样的八年级生的舞会时,我一点也不知道将会怎样。那将是一场什么样的舞会呢?会像我在四年级时参加的万圣节舞会那样吗?基本上就是食物、荧光棒和背景音乐那些?还是会像正式的舞会一样,穿着别致的裙子并且真的跳舞呢?最重要的是,这种舞会是不是那种可以邀请别人一起去的类型呢?通常我不太关心这种事儿,但是这次不同,我已经在心里有一个想要邀请的人选了。

我的同学没帮上什么忙。不论何时我问任何人有关舞会的事儿,我得到的所有答案都是“不知道”。看起来好像他们和我一样地迷茫。因为舞会还有一个月才到,我决定先等等,找到机会再问MF愿不愿意和我一起去。目前还没有什么人去邀请谁一块去呢,而我也不想成为唯一这样做的那个不可思议的孩子。

我所不能理解的是裙子所带来的整体恐慌。那些说他们也不知道这个舞会将是什么样的人们,却非常清楚地知道要去买什么样的裙子。舞会前三周,刮起了一股购物狂潮。突然间,所有的女生都开始和他们的朋友去买裙子和鞋子。甚至我的那些平常并不太关注这类事情的女朋友们也这样了。这有点不公平并且也有点可笑:女生中迷漫着关于裙子和鞋子以及头发的惶恐,而男生们却对此无动于衷。然而,还是没有人提到关于邀约的事儿。

离舞会还有最后的两周了,我再也等不及了。即使现在还没有什么人请哪个人一起去,我还是决定要在那周问问MF能否和我一起去。我的朋友们对这事儿的支持劲儿实在是过了头。那天午饭时间,她们简直是把我拖去了MF他们的餐桌,然后把我留在了那里。一个月以前我已经告诉过她们我喜欢MF,现在看起来她们是无法再等待了。当我邀请MF一起去时,他跟我说:“当然可以,如果我去的话,但是我还没有决定是否去。”这回答意味着要么“不,我不喜欢你,但是我不想伤害你的感情”,要么“我真的不知道自己是否会去,但是我有些喜欢你,所以我将会和你一起去。”

接下来的几天我一直在捉摸着我和MF之间的对话。这件事儿很快就传播开了,不久,很多我认识的人都知道我去邀请MF一起去跳舞了。一些人认为MF肯定不会去的,但是另一些人则认为MF肯定喜欢我并且也肯定会去的。我的一个朋友管我叫“勇敢的亚洲小妞儿”。嗯,反正我的“勇敢行为”激起了什么,突然间,所有的男生(和一些女生)都开始加入找人一起去跳舞了行列了。

我的朋友K,请我的另一个朋友P一起去。K通过短信问P行不行,当时P正和父母以及几个别的朋友们在一起。当P的父母听说这事儿后,就鼓励她说同意。因为当时每一个人都希望她说同意,她就同意了。K在第二天是那么地高兴!A,也通过短信问了一个她喜欢的男孩。伤心的是,A得到的结果和K可大不相同,男孩回答A说:“对不起,我将和我的朋友们一起去。”

D,没人会奇怪于他会邀请女孩子一起去这事儿,但可悲的是,每一次他都被拒绝。我确信,他想问我,但是当他知道我已经问了MF后,就转向了A;然而很快他就知道A也先他问过别人了。当初就是因为不想面对D现在的这种局面,所以我决定不再等下去,赶紧问了MF,因为我害怕别的什么人会先行一步。最后,A和我帮D安排了我们的另一个朋友,一个也是极度渴望约会的女生。他们两个非常地适合,因为他们两个都是几乎会和任何一个人一起去的那种人。

很难相信,那些曾经似乎根本就不在意约会的人,就是一个月后到处约人一起去跳舞、并且还把他们的朋友安排给另外的朋友的人。我知道学校里有几对儿,而且我坚信肯定还有一些我所不知道的。粗略地说,我们年级三分之一的人在这场舞会中会有约会。并且我非常自豪地了解到,我是触发了这场狂潮的人。

很多人对于我邀请MF一起去很是惊讶,因为我们是如此地不同,而且他看起来并不是我所喜欢的那种类型。并且,有几个人认为一个女生去邀请男生很不正常,但绝大多数同学们都认为这并没什么。其实谁问谁真的没什么。我认为许多男生太害羞了,以至于不敢承认他们喜欢某个女生,而我则很高兴于我问了MF……因为最后,他说了YES同意!他将在周四参加毕业舞会! 当我听到这个消息时颇为得意。这次是他提起的话题,所以那至少意味着他有一点点地喜欢我,对吗?!

现在,我真的很激动,但是也有点困惑。我们其实并不明白“和某人一起去舞会”意味着什么。我们将在学校碰面,还是他将接我一起去?这是第一个问题。还有,一旦我们到了学校,我们将只是尴尬地站在一起、最终还是走到我们的朋友们那里,还是我们会有许多话去说?这个暑假我们还会联系吗?我确信许多人也正在经受着这些同样的疑惑和问题……不过有一件事儿很明确:我等不及周四的到来了!

我们的对话其实是像这样的(午饭时间):

他:“那么,星期四?”

我:“什么?

他:“星期四。”

我:“什么?对不起,我听不清你在说啥。”

他:“星期四……舞会?”

我:困惑地,还是听不清他说啥。

他:“你知道……音乐,舞会……巴啦巴啦巴啦”跳舞

我:“噢!噢,是的。你去吗?”

他:“是的……我们一起去,对吗?你不是把我甩掉了吧?”

我:“噢,不,不会。我只是没听清你刚才在说什么。噢……太好了!”

【小哭介绍背景】回国后,一直没有时间翻译Susan的文章,好在走前电脑中还有大把没发表的,就一周一篇地继续着,甚至还翻墙上万维发表了几篇呢。本来想着回美国正好可以继续,不想一个是创业的事情上来了,另一个是我小病了一大场,一直头晕,平时的半夜工作时间,正是我头最晕的阶段。虽然我可以坐在电脑前摆弄点啥,可是却无法动脑筋了。所以也才有了《漫漫创业路》的出炉,毕竟写流水账不用费什么脑子。那天雨林的提醒让我觉得真的得继续Susan的八年级校园系列了。然后才想起来,这一个月来,Susan基本上没有上交什么作文给我!!!我这去年才开始为她自豪的写作习惯,难道就没有了?难道她现在写作,还是为她娘我写的吗?

我们平时都是各有各自忙,能够坐下来好好聊聊的机会也并不多。终于找到一天,她毕业前的各科考试都结束了,她的心情很好、我的事儿也忙乎得差不多了,我和她开始聊为什么这一个月都没有继续写了。她说开始只是想休息一两天,然后就继续休息,然后就把写作这事儿给推到一边去了。写作还是要动脑子的,累,不如拿本书躺在床上看舒服。嗯,有道理。我说那如果这样舒服下去,是不是写作的好习惯,随着放弃游泳队、拒绝学中文而让自己曾经辛苦取得的那些成绩和养成的习惯就这样地都没有了呢?

这个暑假,你有什么打算和安排呢?你体育这么不好,你这么不喜欢运动,是不行的啊。你必须得动起来,妈妈给了你一年的时间,你和爸爸浪费了健身中心一年的年卡,你们连一个月去做一次运动都没有。所以,这个暑假开始,你没有选择的余地了,你必须得去妈妈给报名的游泳队重新做运动,游泳是你唯一会的、也是非常好的运动。对此,Susan虽心有不甘,但却几乎没有什么可以反对的余地。

然后我继续,关于写作,你一定要重新开始,你写了八年了,停了一个月不算什么不得了的,你继续写就行了。最近你一直说有好几本书非常地好看,你想写出来介绍给我看,可是我回来两周了,我也没有见过你上交给妈妈一篇读后感。你最好今天就把读后感写出来,或者,你干脆写写这些天来一直在念叨着的毕业舞会。舞会?嗯,Susan马上来了精神头儿,又开始给我讲起了MF:)我从来都不反对她喜欢任何一个男孩子,在这一点上,我一直非常地克制。我知道只要我伤害到她那脆弱的小感情,我就别想从她嘴里再听到任何消息了,而她绝不会因为不告诉我而不想或不做什么。我和她一起讨论MF,然后她心情变得很好,游泳这事儿不在她的脑子里了。

接下来我趁机提到暑假安排,提到在线课程学习,提到我愿意给她读中文历史书,提到我们一起把拍片俱乐部的活动列个清单……总之,在我强烈的意愿下,我和她一起制定了暑假粗粗的计划表。她说感觉好多了,暑假原来可以安排得这么有条理。我说我在你四年级时就教你用EXCEL表安排生活,那是因为妈妈深深地得益于这个工具所带来的便利。不知道为什么你就是这么地不以为然,也许是你的生活一直简单得不需要管理。可是这个暑假,你的事情真的不少,你必须得学会管理,就算是你不能按着表来做,可是至少你有一个表格,心里就知道时间和计划在哪里,你会心中有数。

我一下子从她的作文到暑假安排,把全部想说的话都给说完了:)当然,没忘记告诉她,MF在我眼里,根本不帅!我和Susan喜欢的类型,从来就没有一致呢?我是林志颖那个类型的粉丝,从17岁喜欢到现在(主要是他的那张脸基本上没变哈),而Susan似乎从来就没喜欢过娃娃脸的小男生:)两年前回国看到我和她爸爸的结婚照,她的第一反应竟然是爸爸那时太年青了,看着不顺眼,不好看:(

这篇文章,我提醒Susan,妈妈在网上看了那么多文章,从来就没有看到写初中毕业舞会的。所以,肯定会有很多如妈妈一样的读者,对你的文章充满了好奇。这一点极大地鼓励了Susan,她真的很快地就上交了这篇小文。

昨天是我的生日,她比我还开心,说是MF告诉她,本来也是想约她一起跳舞的,只是想再等等,等几天再约她。Susan爸好奇心马上就来了,说是看来你们两个都很喜欢对方啊,于是开始问起MF家里的情况了,烦得Susan够呛。说爸爸真是,这么点个小事儿,哪里轮到那些严肃的话题。我说就是,不如妈妈明白这个道理。Susan说大家只是想知道约会是怎么回事儿而已。这个舞会,不过就是一个机会,给你一个不会尴尬的机会,去告诉某个人你喜欢他而已。至于说以后会不会和这个人谈恋爱,那实在是很遥远的事情。但是我还是想到了一个很迫切的问题,初中生的舞会要不要相互间准备花呢?Susan说有同学已经在议论这事儿了。我于是赶紧问SusanMF家看起来富不富裕,Susan说不富,好像刚说过什么事儿没有钱去做呢。嗯,太好了!那这花就都免了吧:)

其实,我的好奇心并不是真的比Susan爸少,只是我对这事儿比Susan爸看得淡,这些年她喜欢过的男生也有几个了,她的喜欢就是这个年纪的喜欢,没有什么关于未来的计划,我们何必当真呢?这事儿的启动,是在我回美国之前,我完全是不知情的。我问Susan,爸爸当时反对了没有?如果反对会不会管用?结果Susan爸马上说,她当时只是通知我一下而已。Susan说反对也不会管用的:)嗨,我们已经在情人节经历过她所制造的疯狂了,现在,我对这些根本就“波澜不惊”了。我只是跟Susan明确地表达了一点看法:勇敢地去做自己想做的事情很好也很棒,可是,类似的勇敢最好只有一次。最好不要像小文中的D同学,那样的话,就没有人会当你的邀请是个事儿了。情感表达是一件很严肃的事情,以后要三思再行,最好和妈妈先商量一下。Susan完全同意。

耶!家中有女初长成,周四要去毕业舞会完成她人生中的第一次约会了!我已经协助她准备好了跳舞的裙子和鞋子,Susan还要求把她去年受洗时我送她的挂有十字架吊坠的白金项链找出来,并且答应了一个女同学的邀约,下午一组女生都去那个同学家一起弄头发!而我就在结束这份介绍时,才发现那个女同学父母早在一周前就已经在EVITE上邀请了这一组同学的所有家人在舞会前去她家小聚了。我那会儿正忙着我们家的“桥梁人”的聚会,不小心错过了那个邮件。现在我成了倒数第二个回复的落后分子了:(当然,我马上就回复说一家人都会去,并且我还要带上中式点心!这是一个邀请了二十家,基本上会有将近四十人的聚会,我要穿什么裙子和鞋子才好呢?现在,轮到我因着舞会发愁了:)

附上英文原文:

Before The Graduation Dance

Have you ever heard of an 8th grade graduation dance? I haven’t. Usually, graduation dances are for high school seniors or college seniors. So, when I heard about my middle school hosting a graduation dance for 8th graders like me, I had no clue what to expect. What kind of dance would it be? Is it going to be like the Halloween dance I had in 4th grade, which was basically food, glow sticks, and music in the background? Or is it going to be like prom, with fancy dresses and actual dancing? Most importantly, is it the type of dance you ask someone out to? I usually wouldn’t care too much, except this time, I have someone in mind that I want to ask out.

My classmates weren’t very helpful. Whenever I asked anybody about the dance, all I got was “I don’t know”. It seemed like they were as clueless as I was. Since the dance was still a month away, I decided wait to ask MF out. Nobody else was asking anyone out, and I didn’t want to be the only weird kid who does.

What I couldn’t understand was the whole panic about dresses. For people who said they didn’t know what sort of dance it would be, they sure knew what sort of dresses to buy. Three weeks before the dance, the shopping frenzy began. Suddenly, all the girls starting going dress and shoe shopping with their friends. Even my girl friends, who usually don’t care about such things. It was unfair but also sort of funny: there was so much panic among the girls about dresses and shoes and hair, but not a single word about it from the guys. But still, nobody said a thing about dates.

Finally, the dance was two weeks away. I couldn’t stand it any longer. Even though nobody else was asking anyone out, I decided to ask MF out that week. My friends were oversupportive to the point that during lunch, they literally dragged me to MF’s table and left me there. I had told them that I liked MF a month ago, and it seemed that they couldn’t stand the wait either. When I asked MF, he told me “Sure, if I’m going, but I haven’t decided if I’m going yet.” That either meant “No, I don’t like you, but I won’t hurt your feelings” or “I honestly don’t know if I’m going yet, but I sort of like you so I’ll go with you.”

I spend the next few days over-analyzing our conversation. The news spread, and soon, most people who know me knew I asked him to the dance. Some thought he definitely won’t go, but other thought he definitely likes me and definitely will go. One of my friends called me “Brave Little Asian”. Well, my “act of bravery” sparked something, and suddenly, all the boys (and some girls) started asking eachother out.

My friend K--- asked another friend of mine, P---. He asked her through texting, while she was in a car with her parents and a few other friends. When her parents heard about it, they encouraged her to say yes, and because everyone wanted her to say yes, she did. K--- was so happy the next day! A--- also asked a boy she liked through text. Sadly, that didn’t work out as well: he said “Sorry, I’m going with my friends”.

D--- is no stranger to asking girls out, but the catch is, he has gotten rejected every single time. He was going to ask me, I’m sure, but when he found out I already asked MF, he switched to A---. Then he found out A--- also already asked someone. That was exactly why I didn’t want to wait too long to ask MF, because I was afraid someone else will. Finally, A--- and I set D--- up with another friend of ours, who was also desperate for a date. They were perfect for eachother, because they would both go with almost anybody.

It’s hard to believe that the people who didn’t seemed to care about dates at all were the same people who, one month later, were asking everyone out and setting their friends up with one another. I knew of a few other couples in the school, but I’m sure there are a lot more that I don’t know about. I’d say roughly a third of our grade has a date to the dance. And I have the honor of knowing that I was the one who triggered all this craziness.

A lot of people were surprised I asked MF, because we’re so different and he didn’t seem like the type of guy I would like. Also, a few people thought it was weird for a girl to ask a guy. Most of my classmates were okay with it, though. It doesn't really matter who asks who. I think a lot of guys are too shy to admit they like a girl, and I’m glad I asked MF….becasue in the end, he said yes*! He was going to the graduation dance on Thursday! I was elated when I heard the news. And he was the one who brought the topic up, so that means he must like me at least a little, right?!

So now, I’m really excited, but also sort of confused. We don't really know what it means to “go to the dance with someone”. Are we going to meet at the school, or is he picking me up? It’s probably the first. Also, once we get there, are going just going to stand together awkwardly and eventually go to our friends, or will we have a lot to talk about? Will we be in contact through the summer? I’m sure many others are experiencing the same doubts and problems…but one thing is certain: I can’t wait for Thursday!

* Our conversation was actually something like this (during lunch):

Him: “So, Thursday?”

Me: “What?”

Him: “Thursday.”

Me: “What? I’m sorry, I can’t hear you.”

Him: “Thursday… the dance?”

Me: confused, still can’t hear him

Him: “You know…music, dancing…lalalala” dances

Me: “OH! Oh, yes. Are you going?”

Him: “Yeah…we’re going together, right? Or are you ditching me?”

Me: “Oh, no, I’m going. I just didn’t hear what you said. Uh…great!”


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