When you want to criticize something, at least you should do some research on the subject. Your article is full of mistakes and your argument has no standpoints. This is not humor, but ignorance. The true humor should be based on some reasonable and rational arguments. Otherwise, your article can only fool yourself and mislead other people.

Simply list some mistakes in your article:

1. One night stand: in this situation, stand means “an act of stopping or staying in one place” (definition from Merriam-Webster Dictionary). So it only means stay over somewhere. ‘Stand’ is a multi-meaning word; you can’t use one of its definitions to explain in all situations. Even in Chinese, we also have such multi-meaning words.

2. Watch your head: You make the same mistake here. If you look into the dictionary, you will find the word ‘watch’ also has another meaning “to be attentive”

3. As to “Waiter”, if you go to some good restaurant, you’ll find that waiters are waiting aside for your order.

4. A hot cup of coffee: Both ‘hot’ and ‘cup of’ are the adjective words to describe the attributes of ‘coffee’.

5. The biggest bottleneck: bottleneck means ‘a condition or situation that retards or halts free movement and progresses. It’s actually the difficult situation you’re facing. So there is no better word than ‘biggest’ to describe it.

6. Driveway: Driveway is ‘a private road giving access from a public way to a building on abutting grounds’, so we never park on driveway.

In the future, if you have enquires on anything, don’t jump into the conclusion too soon. Do some research first, or at least ask someone who knows better than you. Otherwise, you can only fool yourself and show your ignorance!