青柳診所手記39

2023年輕輕地從大霧中消失，2024年踩着大雪悄悄走過來。不知道世界上有幾個人去年每一天都在工作，包括周六、周日以及所有的節假日？

大師兄就是其中一個。2023年的每一天，他都在診所上班。除了在青柳，他也在另外一個診所打工，所以很多時候，都是從上午九點到晚上九點上班，除了半個小時吃中飯的時間以外，其它時間他都在幫人治療。

換了任何人，都會累得趴下了。他不但沒有趴下，而且都很少皺眉頭，似乎從來不知道什麼叫做累。他也從來不去健身房，也不跑步也不做操。幾十年茹素，不吃維他命不吃補品，從不擔心蛋白質缺乏，也不憂慮營養不夠。別人問他如何養生，他就笑一笑：工作的時候我就在養生。

我觀察過他許多次。的確，他在給人推拿時，總是扎着馬步，眼睛半睜半閉，動作不緊不慢抑揚頓挫。他的一舉一動似乎是在練太極，又像是在跳舞，仿佛每一招每一式都是以意為主使，以氣為牽引。

早晨太陽剛剛升起時，我們總是站在診所的大玻璃窗前行注目禮，想象宇宙的療愈之光照耀在診所的每一個角落裡。

“我給人推拿時，總是想象菩薩的光正通過我的手傳送到我的病人身上，”大師兄說。

“這就是我服你的地方，“我由衷地讚嘆。

聖誕前夜的最後一個病人，是一個滿臉倦容的男人F，跟他說話時他都是愛理不理的。跟他同來的還有他16歲的兒子S。S大概剛剛上完音樂課，他的背上還背着一把小提琴。F用沉悶的語氣說：其實我也想讓我的兒子做點治療，但是……

但是錢不夠，我們猜這就是他想說卻沒有說出來的話。

大師兄給F推拿時，男孩就在那裡玩手機。我看他有些無聊的樣子，就說：S，你為什麼不拉一拉你的樂器給我們聽一聽呢？

大男孩睜大了眼睛。在我的鼓勵下，他把琴蓋打開了。不一會兒，診所里響起了悠揚的琴聲。對於一個16歲的男孩來說，他實在已經拉得夠好的了。我感動得眼睛都濕潤了。我仿佛看到，S在拉琴時，大師兄和男孩的父親也在專注地聽着。外面是一片漆黑，所有的人都在慶祝聖誕。而在我們這個小小的診所里，美麗的音樂在柔和的燈光中輕輕流蕩。

男孩拉完後，我看着他把琴蓋合上。我說：S，你拉琴時，我看得出來你的脖子有些僵硬，你的肩膀也有些痛，而且不止一天了。為什麼你不讓我給你治療一下呢？

男孩再次瞪大了眼睛，但很順從地讓我按摩起他的肩膀和脖頸來。

他的父親治療完後，依然瓮聲瓮氣地說：多少錢？我的推拿加上我的兒子的？

我笑起來：“就付您自己的好了。您的兒子，他的琴聲已經超額償付了他的治療費用。“

那個父親的眼睛突然一亮。男孩年輕的臉上也綻開了笑容。

“這就是我服你的地方，“大師兄笑着讚嘆。

今天終於有半天時間休息了，大師兄說：別人度假都去旅遊，我也想去旅遊一下。

我說：你要去哪裡旅遊呢？

我要去本拿比旅遊，他笑答。

結果我們就在冰天雪地的天氣里坐地鐵去了本拿比。到了目的地，大師兄就直奔圖書館在那裡瘋狂找書，我就坐在玻璃窗前靜靜地讀我的醫療筆記。這讓我想起我在UBC讀研究生時整日坐在圖書館裡看書記筆記的情景。怎麼一晃就是20多年了呢？真是歲月無痕啊！

回來的路上，我問大師兄他的旅行體驗如何。“當然好極了，“他答，”人為什麼要那麼樂於從一個地方跑到另外一個地方去呢？真正的旅遊，其實就是去你的靈魂裡面走一走，看一看。“

這讓我想起我從前寫的一首小詩：

旅遊

護照，機票，行李箱

開羅、巴黎、北京、莫斯科

去旅遊，去旅遊

全世界的人

被飛機、輪船和火車

從一個地方

搬到另一個地方

靈魂蹲在荒蕪的山坡上

嘴裡咬着一根乾草

看着主人遠去的背影苦笑 -

這個離我最近的人

一次也沒來旅遊過

Whispering of Willows 39

In the mist, the year 2023 slipped away, and 2024 stepped up quietly, trudging through the snow.

How many people worked every day last year, I wonder, including Saturdays, Sundays, and all holidays?

Dr. Daniel was one of them. Every day in 2023, he worked in a clinic, either in Whispering Willow or in another one. Most of the time, he worked from 9 am to 9 pm; except for half an hour lunch break; the rest of the time he was helping his patients.

Anyone else would likely have collapsed from exhaustion. But not him, in fact, he rarely frowned, as if the word tired does not exist in his dictionary.  Never does he go to the gym, or do any sort of exercise. A strict vegetarian he is, neither does he take any vitamins or supplements. However, he never seems to worry about lacking sufficient protein or anything about his nutrition. When people ask him how he maintains his health, he simply smiles: I maintain my health by working.

I have watched him many times. Indeed, when he was massaging, he would always stand with perfect posture, eyes half closed, every movement slow and rhythmic. One would say his movement looks like he is practicing Tai Chi or dancing, shifting his weight effortlessly from one side to the other as he performs various movements that flow smoothly from one to the next.

When the sun is rising in the morning, we often stand in front of the large glass window of our clinic and salute the sunrise, visualizing the healing light from the cosmos pouring to every corner of our clinic and ourselves.

"When I massage, I always imagine that the light of the Bodhisattva is being transmitted to my patient through my hands," Dr. Daniel said.

“This is what is so amazing about you,” I smiled.

Our last patient on Christmas Eve was F, a man with a weary face.  With him was his 16-year-old son S. S had probably just finished his music class, as he had a violin on his back. “I wish my son would also get some treatment, but...” F said in a dull tone.

But the money is not enough, we could imagine what was unfinished in his sentence.

While Dr. Daniel was giving F a massage, the boy was fiddling with his cell phone. Realizing he may be bored, I said: S, why don't you play a tune or two for us?

The boy's eyes widened. With my encouragement, he opened his violin cover. After a while, the melodious sound of the instrument resonated in the clinic. For a 16-year-old, he was pretty good at it. Moved, my eyes became moist. I could almost see that both Dr. Daniel and S were listening attentively during the treatment. It was already dark outside, everyone was celebrating Christmas, and in our small clinic, a cheerful melody was gently flowing in the soft light.

After the boy finished playing, I watched him put his stuff away, I suggested again: “S, when you were playing your violin, I could see that your neck was a little stiff and your shoulders seemed sore, why don't you give me a chance to treat you?”

The boy's eyes widened again, so he complied and allowed me to massage his shoulders and neck.

After his father finished being treated, he was ready to pay, still in his grouchy tone: “How much did it cost? My massage plus my son's?”

I laughed: "Please just pay for your own treatment. As for your son, his music has paid more than his share."

The father's eyes instantly lit up. A smile grew on the boy's young face.

“This is what is so amazing about you,” Dr. Daniel smiled.

Finally, we had half of a day off today. Dr. Daniel protested: “Everyone travels during holidays, so I also want to travel!”

“Where would you like to go?” asked I.

“I’d like to travel to Burnaby,” smiled he.

We ended up taking the Skytrain to Burnaby in the freezing cold weather. When we arrived at our destination, Dr. Daniel darted to his favorite library where he searched frantically for the books he had longed to read. In front of the glass window I sat, quietly flipping through my notes. This scene reminded me of when I was a graduate student at UBC, slouching in a corner of the library, toiling through the books, and jotting down notes for my presentations. In a blink, more than 20 years had vanished; how time is like a river, flowing away stealthily!

On the way back, I asked Dr. Daniel about his travel experience. "Of course, it was awesome," he replied, "Why are people so crazy about running from one far away place to another? I believe that real travel is to take a ramble in one’s soul and have a rest in it."

His reply reminded me of a little poem I wrote a while ago:

Travel
Passport, ticket, luggage
Cairo, Paris, Beijing, Mexico
travel, travel
all around the world

people are on the road -
carried by aircraft, ships and trains

from one place to another.

Soul squats on a barren hillside

chewing on a straw
with a wry smile, watching him leave -
he who is closest to me
has never paid a visit.