青柳診所手記42

艾默生說：“我的花園小鏟可以療愈我所有的傷痛（All my hurts my garden spade can heal）.”

父親生前也來過我們診所的花園。他曾經說：“你們應該在這裡種點桑樹或枸杞什麼的，我有時間就幫你們維護一下。”

現在我們種的桑樹和枸杞都已經枝繁葉茂了，可是父親在哪裡呢？

6月16日，星期天，父親節。這是我過的第二個沒有父親的父親節。時不時，我會側頭去瞥一眼花園，仿佛他就站在哪個角落裡朝我們微笑着。

儘管什麼廣告都沒有做，我們的診所一直在穩步發展着。在我們的眼裡，世界上不可能有哪個診所比我們的更可愛更溫馨的了。雖然診療室非常小，在裡面轉一個身都困難。但這些小小的不便和局限在我們芬芳美麗的花園面前完全可以忽略不計了。

我們在花園裡已經做了不少果樹和中草藥了。那天猛然發現其中一棵桑樹上已經結滿了紅色的桑葚。我和大師兄都驚喜得睜大了眼睛。我摘了一顆紫紅色的扔進嘴裡。啊，我的天，世界上還有比這更甘美的果實嗎？

大師兄種植的薰衣草早就開花了。阿里醫生是我們的園藝導師。他幫我們培植的玫瑰也綻放了不少。剛摘下來的第一朵，我當然供放在父親的遺像前。頭幾天有個患者的父親去世了，我們摘了幾朵玫瑰請她丈夫帶給她。有個患者最近很憂傷，我們也摘了一朵金色的玫瑰送給她。沒有花瓶，我們就用一個紙杯子裝着花。

白天上班沒時間管理花園，大師兄有時下了班在園裡幹活干到天黑。有幾次我也冒着大雨去園子裡給來急診的病人採摘草藥。我們種的那些枸杞，長得多活潑水靈啊。好些次我們都將修剪下來的枝條送給朋友們去煮湯喝。到目前為止，這個小小的花園已經給不少人帶來了驚喜，誰說它不是跟我們肩並肩的一個親密的療愈夥伴呢？

最近的天氣時晴時雨，溫度比往年低多了。這天一個來自於埃塞俄比亞的人第一次到我們的診所來。大師兄給他推拿，我不過是熱了一個中藥包放在他腳旁而已。治療到一半的時候，我過來問他感覺怎麼樣，他說：“我感覺好得要哭了。”

這麼冷的一個陰雨天，他從城中心坐公車到我們這裡，往返至少要三個小時吧？臨走時他非要多給我們二十元錢，我們不肯要，他合掌笑着說：“從現在開始，我們就是一家人了。” 望着他的背影離去時，我感覺到有淚珠在臉上流。

有時我們也帶小孩子在花園裡看一看走一走。有些人問：做中醫的能夠幫小孩子做什麼呢？

我們能做的可多了：刮痧，拔罐，推拿，中藥，做氣功和瑜伽，幫助他們提高免疫力，對付感冒、過敏、哮喘、焦慮…..在花園裡，我給他們看那滿樹的蘋果、李子和梨，讓他們觸摸那戴着露水的金銀花。

試過拔罐的小孩子似乎都特別喜歡。

有一個三歲的小男孩聚精會神地看着我拔罐，然後一本正經地提出疑問：“好奇怪啊，這些罐子怎麼沒被火熔化呢？”

一個六歲的妹妹和九歲的哥哥第一次來拔罐。我問他們誰先上，妹妹搶先舉起了手。拔到一半的時候，趴着的她對在一旁緊張觀看的哥哥嘻嘻笑着說：“有什麼了不起呢，不過就是一點火而已！ ”

我治療一個母親時，她四歲的女兒總是站在我的跟前一眼不眨地看着我的一舉一動。治療完後，她問母親：“媽媽，你感覺好一些了嗎？”

媽媽說：“當然，親愛的，安娜醫生是一個很棒的療愈師！”

“那我呢？”這個金髮小女孩歪着腦袋用閃亮的眼睛看着她。

母親彎腰給她一個吻，笑答：“你當然也是，親愛的。你也是一個很棒的療愈師！”

其實，我們都是很棒的療愈師，難道不是嗎？

我們的病人中也有不少是青少年。

那天一個熱愛音樂的才17歲的年輕患者告訴我說，他討厭人，覺得在這個俗世討生活是非常沒有意思的一件事。他問我如何才能擁有一個既快樂而又不妥協的人生。我帶他在園子裡默默地走了一圈，然後就把我寫的這首詩送給他了：

乞討

天蒙蒙亮，我就光腳啟程去乞討

我的托缽是一隻竹碗，搖搖晃晃掛在脖子上

我經過許多城市和村莊

每張門，都在我剛剛趕到時砰然關上了

我乞討的不過是一點愛和歡樂

但誰都沒有多餘的一勺

一個精靈招手叫我過去——

跟鳥兒、蜜蜂、小草、森林和野獸站成一排

遞給我們她早已備好的禮物

分給那些遠道而來的面色憂戚的陰影們

黑夜來臨

我吹着口哨 踩着野菊花的芬芳回家

我的托缽那時已裝滿了我要的東西

但那不是乞討得來的

Whispering of Willows (42)

By Dr. Anna Zhao (https://whisperingwillowclinic.com)

Emerson says: “All my hurts my garden spade can heal.”

My father had a chance to visit our clinic garden before he passed away. He once said, "You should plant some mulberry trees or goji berries here; if I have time, I come to give you a hand."

Now the mulberry trees and goji berries are lush and green, but where is my father?

June 16, Sunday, Father's Day. This is the second Father's Day that I spent without my father. From time to time, I turn my head to glance at the garden, wishing he would be standing in the corner, beaming.

Though we do little in terms of advertisement, our clinic has been developing steadily. In our eyes, there can be no clinic in the world that is more lovely and dear than ours. Our treatment rooms are tiny, making it even difficult to turn around in them. But these small inconveniences and limitations are completely negligible in front of our fragrant and lovely garden, surrounded by Angels and Buddhas.

Many fruit trees and herbal medicines have been planted. A few days ago, to our great joy, we spotted red mulberries appearing on one of the branches. I could not resist so I nipped a purple-red one and threw it into my mouth. Oh, Lord, is there any fruit in the world that is sweeter and tastier than this?

The lavender planted by Dr. Daniel is showing its glory under the blue sky. Our garden guru is Dr. Ali, of course. Some of the roses that he helped us plant have also bloomed. The first one I picked I put in front of my dad’s portrait. A few days ago, a patient's father passed away, so we picked a few roses and asked her husband to bring them to her. Having a patient going through a difficult time, prompted our selecting a golden rose in the yard for her. No vases, we used disposable paper cups instead.

We have no time to manage the garden during the daytime when we are at work. Sometimes, Dr. Daniel toils under moonlight after work. There were times I dashed into the garden in heavy rain, picking a few fresh herbs to boil for patients. The goji berries are flourishing, and we trim the twigs and give them to friends to make soup. So far, our small garden has brought wonderful surprises to many people. Who says the garden is not our healing partner, working with us intimately, shoulder to shoulder?

The weather is changeable these days, and it still feels cool in mid June. Today, a man from Ethiopia came to our clinic for the first time. Dr. Daniel gave him a massage, and all I did for him was placing a heated herbal bag by his feet. Half way through the treatment, I came over and asked how he was doing, all he said was: “So good I feel like crying.”

On such a cold and rainy day, this man took transit all the way from downtown to come to our clinic. It must have taken him maybe three hours for the round trip? Before leaving, he insisted on giving us an extra 20 dollars. We declined, and put it back in his pocket. With a warm smile he folded his hands and said, "From now on, we are a family." As we watched him leave, I realized tears were running on my face.

Sometimes we take children to have a tour in the garden. You may ask: “What can Traditional Chinese Medicine do to help children?”

We can do much: guasha, cupping, massage, herbal medicine, qigong and yoga, to help improve their immunity and deal with colds, allergies, asthma, anxiety... In the garden, I show them the trees laden with apples, pears or plums, and let them touch the freshly opened honeysuckle covered with dew.

Children who have tried cupping seem to like it very much.

A three-year-old boy watched me cupping without blinking, and then asked with great curiosity, "How come the cups are not melting by the fire?"

A six-year-old sister and a nine-year-old brother came for cupping for the first time. When I asked them who would go first, the sister rushed to raise her hand. Halfway through the treatment, she giggled, lying on her stomach, and comforted her brother who seemed a little nervous, "No big deal! It's just a little fire!"

When I treated a young mother, her four-year-old daughter often stands by watching intensively my every move. One day after the treatment, she asked: "Mommy, do you feel any better?"

The mother replied: "Of course, honey, Dr. Anna is a great healer!"

"What about me?" The little blond girl tilted her head at her, showing her sparkling blue eyes.

The mother bent down and gave her a kiss, smiling: "Of course you are too, honey. You are also a great healer yourself!"

She is right, we are all great healers ourselves, especially when we heal with love.  If we believe so, we are – both healers and love.

Some of our patients are teenagers.

A 17-year-old patient, with a gift for music, told me that he dislikes to associate with people and begging a living in this world seems meaningless and humiliating. He asked me how to lead a happy and uncompromising life, or if there even is such a thing. I took him for a walk in the garden, and then sent him this poem I wrote:

Begging

Hardly dawn, I was on my way begging, barefoot;

Dangling on my neck, a bamboo alms-bowl.

Hamlets and cities fleeting by,

each door shut abruptly upon my arrival.

What I begged for was a little love and joy

but none had a spoonful to spare.

A goblin beckoned me over,

queuing me with birds, bees, grass, forest and wild beasts.

handing us the gifts she long prepared

to offer to those dismal shadows from afar.

Night fell

I headed home,

whistling along the chrysanthemum scented trail,

alms-bowl filled,

but not from begging.