青柳诊所手记51

诊所园子里的植物已经冒出嫩芽出来了。我去年顺手插在土里的那棵柳枝竟然长得比筷子都粗起来。不少果树们都绽放出花朵了。阿里医生上次请了园艺家马克过来，把那些枝条都好好地修剪了一番。马克的剪刀每咔嚓一下，我的心就颤抖一下。这都是已经长满嫩芽的枝条啊，每一个花苞在我的眼里就是一个生命，我实在舍不得它们从母体被割舍掉。可是马克强调，只有将那些纤弱的、过密的、交叉生长的枝条统统去掉，这些果树才会多开花、多结果；如果枝条之间压得太密，通风透光不好，就很难茁壮成长。

这让我想起绘画艺术。尤其是中国的山水画，留白是画家们常常使用的一个手法。我最喜欢的往往是一小块墨迹隐隐约约漂浮在大片白色中的水墨画——就像今天早上北岸群山与云朵的交相辉映。水墨捕捉的是主题，但那一大片白色却是主题的生命力。

我在博物馆看画的时候，就喜欢盯着绘画中的留白出神。我在想：马克修剪树枝，是不是也是在给植物们留白？通过拉开枝条与枝条之间的距离而让整个花园变得更加生气盎然？

有时候我也喜欢盯着一个短短的方子出神，方子就那么四五味药，可是我感觉方子的尾巴那里流动的不仅仅是空，而是一种充满生机的灵气在荡漾……是不是连一个方子也需要留白呢？太大太杂的方子方向就乱了？

父亲去世了，无论有多么忙，我总是每隔几天就跟母亲打一次很长的电话。每次她絮絮叨叨，说的都是陈谷子烂芝麻之类的琐事。这些话我已经听了成百上千次了，可是我也从不打断她，我饶有兴趣地听她唠叨着，时不时跟她开一下玩笑。有一天她叹气说，“我现在年老了，性格也变了。以前还挺外向的我，现在越来越不喜欢跟人说话了，有时听到讲话的声音我就变得烦躁。”

我赶紧说：“那是不是你也不想听到我的声音啊？”

“不，”她肯定地答，“只要一听到你的声音，我就觉得心里很舒坦。每次你打电话，我都不想放下。”

“要不我天天给你一个短短的电话？”我问她。

“不，这样正好，中间隔开几天，让我正好有一个盼头，”她说，“我知道你那天要打电话过来，那天我就一直等着它。到哪里我都带着我的手机，连上厕所都带着它，就怕错过你的电话。”

我听了很感动，心里暗暗想，是不是连母亲的潜意识也悟到打电话也需要留白呢？

我最喜欢的一本书叫《小王子》。  他的新朋友狐狸对小王子说：“你最好总是在同一个时间来…… 如果你说你在下午四点来，从三点钟开始，我就开始感觉很快乐，时间越临近，我就越来越感到快乐。 到了四点钟的时候，我就会坐立不安起来。啊，你会发现我是如此渴望你的来临。但是如果你随便什么时候来，我就不知道在什么时候准备好迎接你的心情了…..”

是不是连等待朋友也需要留白？

每天我都要触摸病人的身体。凡是僵直、板结、坚硬的地方几乎都是病灶之所在。

我在想，是不是连身体也需要留白？当我们吃得太多，消耗得太多，慢慢地我们的身体就如同一个过于拥挤的房间，变得杂乱不堪起来？而一个柔软的身体就是有着留白的身体？

如果都市里的人没有居住在山村里的人健康，是不是因为人与人之间的空间距离隔得太近了？没有空间距离就没有了留白？连野生动植物都知道要自动保持空间距离以求更好的发展。那么，森林、花草、山泉、小溪、云彩，这些对于我们来说之所以如此重要，是不是因为它们就是自然界的留白，就是让我们生命灵气流动的场所？

我有一个超重的病人，想要变瘦一点，我总是告诉她：你要多晒晒太阳，你要多拍打一下，你要天天拉一下筋，你要少说点话，你要多出点汗才好，你要每晚上都泡脚，你要少吃点甜食，你要多做点运动，你要尽量保持大小便通畅，你要多去森林里走走……

她是个超爱打破砂锅问到底的人，每次我给她一个建议，她都歪着头问：“为什么，安娜医生？为什么你要我这么做？”

我想下次我就不再跟她解释为什么了，我会笑着对她说：要不你去瞅一瞅中国山水画？

Whispering of Willows 51

By Dr. Anna Zhao

Most of the plants in the clinic garden have sprouted. The tiny willow branch I casually pushed into the soil last year has grown thicker than a chopstick. Many fruit trees are blossoming. Last month, Dr. Ali invited Mark, a famous horticulturist to prune the branches. Every time Mark's scissors clicked, my heart trembled. Branches full of buds snipped away appearing like cutting off a fetus from its mother’s womb. But Mark emphasized that only by removing all the weak, overcrowded, and cross-growing branches, will permit these fruit trees to fully bloom and bear more fruit. If the branches are too close to one another, the ventilation and light transmission are compromised, making it difficult for plants to focus their energy on producing new, healthy shoots and branches allowing them to thrive.

This reminds me of the art of painting - especially Chinese landscape painting, where the use of blank space is an often-employed technique. My favourites are often ink works with small areas of ink carefully looming in white expanses – much like the interplay of the north shore mountains and clouds this morning. The ink captures to subject matter, but it is the white expanses that add the vitality. When admiring paintings in the museum, I have the habit of staring at the blank spaces in them. I wonder: When Mark was pruning, was it also to leave blank spaces for the plants? By increasing the space between branches, more light enters the interior – like blank space in painting - therefore increasing the overall health and vitality of the plants and the yard.

There are times I stare at my formula for an herbal medicine. The combination of the herbs occasionally can be a very short list, sometimes only 4 or 5 herbs. Yes, a short formula, but its vitality is rippling...Does even an herbal formula need to have blank space, while one that is too big too messy might disorient the flow of essential energy?

After my father passed away, no matter how busy, every few days, I make a long-distance phone call to talk with my mother. Every time she chatters about trivial matters that I have heard hundred of times. I don’t interrupt her. I simply listen with attention, and joke a bit from time to time. One day she sighed, "I am old now, and my personality has changed. I used to be quite outgoing, but now I don't like chatting with most people anymore. Sometimes I get irritated when I hear voices."

I hurried to ask, "Do you not want to hear my voice, too?"

"No," she answered affirmatively, "I feel your voice is the only soothing one. When you call, I never want to hang up."

"How about I give you a short call every day then?"

"No, this is just right; leaving a few days between calls is perfect so I have something to look forward to," she said, "When I know you will call me that day, I simply wait by the phone. I carry my phone with me wherever I go, even to the bathroom, so I don’t miss your call."

I was very moved when I heard this, and quietly thought to myself, is it possible that even my mother's subconscious mind has realized that it is necessary to leave blank spaces with phone calls?

My favorite book is called "The Little Prince". His new friend, the fox, once said to the little prince, “It would be better to return at the same hour. If, for example, you came at four o’clock in the afternoon, then at three o’clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o’clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart needs to be ready to greet you . . . One must observe the proper rites . . .”

Does friendship also need blank space?

Every day I palpate patient's bodies. When I find stiff, hardened or kinked locations, I consider them points to be treated.

I wonder if even the body needs to have blank spaces? When we eat too much, or exert ourselves too much, slowly our body becomes like an overcrowded room, messy and cluttered. A supple body is a body with blank spaces.

If people in the city are not as healthy as those living in the countryside, is it because the space between urban people is too tight? Overcrowding leaves no blank spaces. Wild plants and animals automatically space themselves to gain optimum development. For us, forests, flowers, springs, creeks, and open sky are so important because they are the blank space left in nature, where our spirit flows.

I have a patient who wants to lose weight. In addition to her treatments, I keep telling her: you need to get more sunlight, you need to do more tapping, stretching, sweating, exercising, soaking your feet in hot water, talk less, eat less overall, eat less sweets, you need to have regular bowel movements, the bladder needs to be obstruction free, you need to destress by strolling more in the forest...

She, loving to get to the bottom of things, often asked: "Why, Dr. Anna? Why do you want me to do this?"

I think next time I will smile and say to her: My dear friend, go take a look at a Chinese landscape painting and see if you can figure out the why.