102 Ways to tell if you are Chinese(鑑別中國人的102辦法)
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1. You love to go to $1.75 movies.
你喜歡看便宜電影
2. You love to go to $1.50 movies even more!
你更喜歡看最便宜電影
3. You don't order sweet and sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a
chinese restaurant.
在中國餐館，你不會點甜酸肉(老美特愛吃的)。。。
4. You have a pager, even though you don't really need it.
你有尋呼機，儘管從來不用
5. You have a really nice pager, with an alphanumeric display.
你有一個極漂亮尋呼機，帶字母顯示器
6. You have a cellular phone, even though you don't really need it.
你有一個手機，儘管並不真的需要
7. You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.
午餐超過5個美元要你命
8. You drive a Honda.
你駕本田車
9. You have custom rims on your Honda.
你的本田車上帶輪圈
10. You have a chinese knick-knack hanging on your rearview mirror.
你的車後視鏡上掛中國香袋
11. You like to eat chicken feet.
你喜歡啃雞爪子
12. You suck on fish heads ( especially the eyeballs) and fish fins.
你吸魚頭和魚翅
13. You turn bright red after drinking 2 tablespoons of beer.
你喝一口啤酒就紅臉關公
14. You can get a buzz on Coors Cutter, O'douls, or Miller Sharps.
你在公共場合對手機瘋狂亂叫
15. You look like you are 18.
你看起來好像才18歲。
16. You always look up at women, if you are male.
如果男的，你死盯着看女人
17. You always look up at chinese men, if you are female.
如果女的，你死盯着看中國男人(這個可能非常不確，呵呵，不過老美嫉妒可以理解
)
18. You live at your parents house, and you are not claimed as a dependent
by them.
你和父母生活，儘管你經濟上不靠他們
19. You only buy used cars.
你永遠買舊車
20. You have more than 5 remote controls in your TV room.
電視屋子裡你有5個以上遙控器
21. You sing Karaoke.
你喜歡卡拉OK
22. You have a custom stereo in your Honda with the custom rims.
你的本田車上有客戶音響
23. You entire house is covered with tile.
你的房子鋪的是瓷磚
24. You have those plastic walkways covering your hallway and other heavy
foot traffic.
房子裡要踩的地方你都鋪了塑料布
25. You own a gun if you are male.
男的有槍(這個太胡扯了 ：)

下面不翻譯了，很多在下面中文裡可以找到，當然前面的數字對不上(因為我考的是
兩個帖子。。。；)
26. You have plastic or some other kind of cover on your furniture.
27. You leave the plastic on your lampshade for 10 years or more.
28. You eat family dinners with the TV on.
29. You love watching Connie Chung.
你喜歡看宗毓華節目(嘿嘿，這個宗毓華可能是最去中國化的華人了，她指中國人都
是是間諜在華人中間掀起悍然大波，她拒絕參加華人精英組織---百人會，更說明了
這一點。最洋奴的人了，白人居然還是沒有放過她。。。)

30. You have an incredible amount of clutter in your house.
31. You can't bear to throw away things.
32. You are an engineer.
33. Your dad washes his hair 4 times a year.
34. You hate getting B's.
35. Your house smells like preserved fish.
36. Your house smells like chinese medicine.
37. You have about 12-20 uncles and aunts.
38. You've never kissed your mom or dad.
39. You've never hugged your mom or dad.
40. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
41. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".
42. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.
43. You had a bowl cut before.
44. You go to yard sales often.
45. If you lose a dollar, you dwell upon it for more then 5 mintues.
46. Your parents own a restaurant or grocery store.
47. You love to "buck" the system.
48. If you are overcharged you scream bloody murder, but if you are undercharged,
you go your merry way.
49. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
50. You get a rush from getting a good deal.
51. You'll make ridiculous offers when bargaining. ("I'll give you $5 for
that car")
52. You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
53. You love to use coupons.
54. You drive around looking for the cheapest gas.
55. You add twice the recommended amount of water when making orange juice
from concentrate
56. You'll squeeze a toothpaste tube down to paper thin.
57. You take showers at night.
58. You'll drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.
59. You'll learn about sex from someone other then your parents.
60. You'll be convinced your parents had sex as many times as required to
produce you and your siblings.
61. You've never seen your parents kiss.
62. You've never seen your parents hug.
63. Your grandmother lives with you and your family.
64. Your Honda has been "lowered".
65. You never buy stuff from the concession stands at the movies.
66. You tip 15% or less.
67. You never order dessert at restaurants.
68. You always have water only when dining out.
69. You refuse to use the valet.
70. You try not to use the bellhop, for fear of tipping.
71. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
72. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.
73. You want your dollar back from the friend who borrowed it right away.
74. You get the runs when you drink lots of milk.
75. Most girls have more body hair than you if you are male.
76. You have a great love for cameras.
77. Sanrio means a lot to you if you are female.
78. Your fridge stinks.
79. Your parents don't want you to move out when you turn 18.
80. Your parents want to live with you when they are old.
81. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.
82. You point to your nose when referring to yourself.
83. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
84. You lie about your kids' ages when going to a movie or amusement park.
85. You lie about your age to get a senior citizen's discount.
86. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable.
87. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
88. You love to play Mahjong.
89. You want to marry chinese.
90. You have to read all your parents' mail written in english.
91. You have to make phone calls for your parents to english speakers.
92. Your parents ask you if you are home when you come home. ("Faun nei
mah?")
93. You get a knuckle in your skull if you are being punished by your parents.

94. You are constantly being set up with uninteresting people by your parents.

95. You always hear about how great so-and-so's son or daughter is.
96. Your Honda has the "boom".
97. Your parents wish you would give 30% of your income to them.
98. Your childhood is filled with painful memories of the long feather duster
("Gi Mo So")
99. You can use the words "chink" and "????" with impunity.
100. Your clothes smell like fried foods.
101. You talk at the top of your voice at all occasions.
102. You hate eating cheese.

　　6.你的房子鋪的是瓷磚。

　　7.你的廚房覆蓋著一層厚厚的油脂。

　　8.你的爐子上面有鋁箔。

　　9.你的遙控器外面包著塑料

　　10.你從沒吻過你父母

　　11.你從沒抱過你父母

　　12.你小學五年級開始就戴眼鏡了。

　　13.你睡醒後頭髮會豎起來。

　　14.你會為一些不可質疑的事情辯論。

　　15.你喜歡用折價券。

　　16.你為了最便宜的汽油費不惜開著車子到處找。

　　17.你晚上洗澡。

　　18.旅店房間裡的非免費食品你都不吃。

　　19.如果你是男人，那麼你身上的體毛比大多數女人少。

　　20.別人為你倒茶你就用手敲一下桌子。

　　21.你經常說“哎(二聲)呀(四聲)”和“哇(四聲)”。

　　22.你不喜歡系安全帶因為安全帶讓你感覺不舒服。

　　23.你喜歡拉斯維加斯，老虎機和二十一點。

　　24.你的廚房桌子上有一條抹布。

　　25.你把骨頭和其他雜碎吐在桌子上，所以你必須有抹布。

　　26.你的電冰箱存著一萬年前的食物。

　　27.你把洗碗機當碗櫥。

　　28.你從來沒用過你的洗碗機。

　　29.你有一個熱水瓶裡面永遠裝着熱水。

　　30.你在廚房吃飯。

　　31.你會在餐桌上剔牙，但手遮著嘴。

　　32.你會轉筆。

　　33.你冰箱裡有三口剩飯和一隻雞翼。

　　34.你把果醬瓶當水杯用。

　　35.你有收集旅館免費洗髮水瓶子的愛好。

　　36.你每次外出十五分鐘都會帶著你的零食：干芒果，李子或烤魷魚。

　　37.你會洗2-3次米。

　　38.你不用量杯。

　　39.你用筷子打雞蛋。

　　40.你有一個有蓋的茶杯。

　　41.你總是在電話簿里找電話號碼，因為諮詢電話費用為五角。

　　42.你喜歡中國功夫片。

　　43.你從不為了問聲好而call你父母。

　　44.如果你不在家，你的父母會打電話問你吃了嗎，就算半夜12點也不例外。

　　45.當你病了的時候,你父母要你不吃油炸食品和烤的東西，因為會上火！

　　46.你上班時給你中國朋友發送電子郵件，即使你們相距10尺。

　　47.你去吃自助餐前會把自己餓個半死。

　　48.你認識可以打折賣給你珠寶或電器的人。

　　49.你留著用過的可樂瓶。

　　50.你有自己的切肉刀而且你會磨它。

　　51.你的牙膏都擠到紙一樣薄。

　　52.你知道什麼是月餅。

　　53.當廁紙降價時，你買了100多卷並囤在衣櫥或別人的房間裡。

　　54.即使你飽了，當別人要把剩下的菜倒掉時你會一嘴把它吃完。

　　55.你吃過紅豆冰棍。

　　56.你拜訪別人時會帶著水果。

　　57.你在餐後搶著付帳單。

　　58.你的主科是實用型的，工程學，機械學或法律。

　　59.你愛好吃苦瓜。

　　60.你三十歲時還和父母住在一起並且他們也喜歡你這樣。或者你已經三十歲並
且結婚了，但你還住在父母隔壁或同個小區。