102 Ways to tell if you are Chinese(鉴别中国人的102办法)
=========================
1. You love to go to $1.75 movies.
你喜欢看便宜电影
2. You love to go to $1.50 movies even more!
你更喜欢看最便宜电影
3. You don't order sweet and sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a
chinese restaurant.
在中国餐馆，你不会点甜酸肉(老美特爱吃的)。。。
4. You have a pager, even though you don't really need it.
你有寻呼机，尽管从来不用
5. You have a really nice pager, with an alphanumeric display.
你有一个极漂亮寻呼机，带字母显示器
6. You have a cellular phone, even though you don't really need it.
你有一个手机，尽管并不真的需要
7. You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.
午餐超过5个美元要你命
8. You drive a Honda.
你驾本田车
9. You have custom rims on your Honda.
你的本田车上带轮圈
10. You have a chinese knick-knack hanging on your rearview mirror.
你的车后视镜上挂中国香袋
11. You like to eat chicken feet.
你喜欢啃鸡爪子
12. You suck on fish heads ( especially the eyeballs) and fish fins.
你吸鱼头和鱼翅
13. You turn bright red after drinking 2 tablespoons of beer.
你喝一口啤酒就红脸关公
14. You can get a buzz on Coors Cutter, O'douls, or Miller Sharps.
你在公共场合对手机疯狂乱叫
15. You look like you are 18.
你看起来好像才18岁。
16. You always look up at women, if you are male.
如果男的，你死盯着看女人
17. You always look up at chinese men, if you are female.
如果女的，你死盯着看中国男人(这个可能非常不确，呵呵，不过老美嫉妒可以理解
)
18. You live at your parents house, and you are not claimed as a dependent
by them.
你和父母生活，尽管你经济上不靠他们
19. You only buy used cars.
你永远买旧车
20. You have more than 5 remote controls in your TV room.
电视屋子里你有5个以上遥控器
21. You sing Karaoke.
你喜欢卡拉OK
22. You have a custom stereo in your Honda with the custom rims.
你的本田车上有客户音响
23. You entire house is covered with tile.
你的房子铺的是瓷砖
24. You have those plastic walkways covering your hallway and other heavy
foot traffic.
房子里要踩的地方你都铺了塑料布
25. You own a gun if you are male.
男的有枪(这个太胡扯了 ：)

下面不翻译了，很多在下面中文里可以找到，当然前面的数字对不上(因为我考的是
两个帖子。。。；)
26. You have plastic or some other kind of cover on your furniture.
27. You leave the plastic on your lampshade for 10 years or more.
28. You eat family dinners with the TV on.
29. You love watching Connie Chung.
你喜欢看宗毓华节目(嘿嘿，这个宗毓华可能是最去中国化的华人了，她指中国人都
是是间谍在华人中间掀起悍然大波，她拒绝参加华人精英组织---百人会，更说明了
这一点。最洋奴的人了，白人居然还是没有放过她。。。)

30. You have an incredible amount of clutter in your house.
31. You can't bear to throw away things.
32. You are an engineer.
33. Your dad washes his hair 4 times a year.
34. You hate getting B's.
35. Your house smells like preserved fish.
36. Your house smells like chinese medicine.
37. You have about 12-20 uncles and aunts.
38. You've never kissed your mom or dad.
39. You've never hugged your mom or dad.
40. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
41. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".
42. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.
43. You had a bowl cut before.
44. You go to yard sales often.
45. If you lose a dollar, you dwell upon it for more then 5 mintues.
46. Your parents own a restaurant or grocery store.
47. You love to "buck" the system.
48. If you are overcharged you scream bloody murder, but if you are undercharged,
you go your merry way.
49. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
50. You get a rush from getting a good deal.
51. You'll make ridiculous offers when bargaining. ("I'll give you $5 for
that car")
52. You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
53. You love to use coupons.
54. You drive around looking for the cheapest gas.
55. You add twice the recommended amount of water when making orange juice
from concentrate
56. You'll squeeze a toothpaste tube down to paper thin.
57. You take showers at night.
58. You'll drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.
59. You'll learn about sex from someone other then your parents.
60. You'll be convinced your parents had sex as many times as required to
produce you and your siblings.
61. You've never seen your parents kiss.
62. You've never seen your parents hug.
63. Your grandmother lives with you and your family.
64. Your Honda has been "lowered".
65. You never buy stuff from the concession stands at the movies.
66. You tip 15% or less.
67. You never order dessert at restaurants.
68. You always have water only when dining out.
69. You refuse to use the valet.
70. You try not to use the bellhop, for fear of tipping.
71. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
72. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.
73. You want your dollar back from the friend who borrowed it right away.
74. You get the runs when you drink lots of milk.
75. Most girls have more body hair than you if you are male.
76. You have a great love for cameras.
77. Sanrio means a lot to you if you are female.
78. Your fridge stinks.
79. Your parents don't want you to move out when you turn 18.
80. Your parents want to live with you when they are old.
81. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.
82. You point to your nose when referring to yourself.
83. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
84. You lie about your kids' ages when going to a movie or amusement park.
85. You lie about your age to get a senior citizen's discount.
86. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable.
87. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
88. You love to play Mahjong.
89. You want to marry chinese.
90. You have to read all your parents' mail written in english.
91. You have to make phone calls for your parents to english speakers.
92. Your parents ask you if you are home when you come home. ("Faun nei
mah?")
93. You get a knuckle in your skull if you are being punished by your parents.

94. You are constantly being set up with uninteresting people by your parents.

95. You always hear about how great so-and-so's son or daughter is.
96. Your Honda has the "boom".
97. Your parents wish you would give 30% of your income to them.
98. Your childhood is filled with painful memories of the long feather duster
("Gi Mo So")
99. You can use the words "chink" and "????" with impunity.
100. Your clothes smell like fried foods.
101. You talk at the top of your voice at all occasions.
102. You hate eating cheese.

　　6.你的房子铺的是瓷砖。

　　7.你的厨房覆盖著一层厚厚的油脂。

　　8.你的炉子上面有铝箔。

　　9.你的遥控器外面包著塑料

　　10.你从没吻过你父母

　　11.你从没抱过你父母

　　12.你小学五年级开始就戴眼镜了。

　　13.你睡醒后头发会竖起来。

　　14.你会为一些不可质疑的事情辩论。

　　15.你喜欢用折价券。

　　16.你为了最便宜的汽油费不惜开著车子到处找。

　　17.你晚上洗澡。

　　18.旅店房间里的非免费食品你都不吃。

　　19.如果你是男人，那么你身上的体毛比大多数女人少。

　　20.别人为你倒茶你就用手敲一下桌子。

　　21.你经常说“哎(二声)呀(四声)”和“哇(四声)”。

　　22.你不喜欢系安全带因为安全带让你感觉不舒服。

　　23.你喜欢拉斯维加斯，老虎机和二十一点。

　　24.你的厨房桌子上有一条抹布。

　　25.你把骨头和其他杂碎吐在桌子上，所以你必须有抹布。

　　26.你的电冰箱存著一万年前的食物。

　　27.你把洗碗机当碗橱。

　　28.你从来没用过你的洗碗机。

　　29.你有一个热水瓶里面永远装着热水。

　　30.你在厨房吃饭。

　　31.你会在餐桌上剔牙，但手遮著嘴。

　　32.你会转笔。

　　33.你冰箱里有三口剩饭和一只鸡翼。

　　34.你把果酱瓶当水杯用。

　　35.你有收集旅馆免费洗发水瓶子的爱好。

　　36.你每次外出十五分钟都会带著你的零食：干芒果，李子或烤鱿鱼。

　　37.你会洗2-3次米。

　　38.你不用量杯。

　　39.你用筷子打鸡蛋。

　　40.你有一个有盖的茶杯。

　　41.你总是在电话簿里找电话号码，因为咨询电话费用为五角。

　　42.你喜欢中国功夫片。

　　43.你从不为了问声好而call你父母。

　　44.如果你不在家，你的父母会打电话问你吃了吗，就算半夜12点也不例外。

　　45.当你病了的时候,你父母要你不吃油炸食品和烤的东西，因为会上火！

　　46.你上班时给你中国朋友发送电子邮件，即使你们相距10尺。

　　47.你去吃自助餐前会把自己饿个半死。

　　48.你认识可以打折卖给你珠宝或电器的人。

　　49.你留著用过的可乐瓶。

　　50.你有自己的切肉刀而且你会磨它。

　　51.你的牙膏都挤到纸一样薄。

　　52.你知道什么是月饼。

　　53.当厕纸降价时，你买了100多卷并囤在衣橱或别人的房间里。

　　54.即使你饱了，当别人要把剩下的菜倒掉时你会一嘴把它吃完。

　　55.你吃过红豆冰棍。

　　56.你拜访别人时会带著水果。

　　57.你在餐后抢著付帐单。

　　58.你的主科是实用型的，工程学，机械学或法律。

　　59.你爱好吃苦瓜。

　　60.你三十岁时还和父母住在一起并且他们也喜欢你这样。或者你已经三十岁并
且结婚了，但你还住在父母隔壁或同个小区。