１．　浪漫數學
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

精明的男人＋精明的女人＝浪漫
Smart man + smart woman = romance

精明的男人＋愚蠢的女人＝私通
Smart man + dumb woman = affair　

愚蠢的男人＋精明的女人＝婚姻
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

愚蠢的男人＋愚蠢的女人＝懷孕
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

２． 購物數學
SHOPPING MATH

男人總是花兩元錢買他需要的價值一元錢的東西
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

女人總是花一元錢買她不需要的價值兩元錢的東西
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

３． 一般方程與統計
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

女人在找到一個丈夫之前總是為未來擔心
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

男人在找到一個妻子之後才開始擔心未來
A man never worries about the future until he　gets a wife.

成功的男人標誌是，掙的錢比他的妻子能夠花掉的還多
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

成功女人的標誌是，她找到了這樣一位丈夫
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

４． 幸福
HAPPINESS

要想與一個男人幸福地相守，你必須對他多一份理解少一份愛
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

要想與一個女人幸福地生活，你必須儘量多愛她，而絕不要試圖去理解她
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

５． 長壽
LONGEVITY

結婚的男人比獨身的男人長壽，但是結婚的男人更多地想到去死
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

６． 改變嗜好
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

女人嫁給一個男人，期望着他會發生改變，但他並沒有變化
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

男人娶一個女人，期望着她不會變化，但她卻改變了。
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

７． 談話技巧DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

女人在任何爭論上都擁有最後的裁決權。
A woman has the last word in any argument.

任何問題在男人提出來之後，就變成一場新的爭論。
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

把這些話送給哪些需要樂一樂的精明的女人和你認為可以應付這些問題的男人。
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT.