比老虎更可怕的，是一個人對規則的蔑視

http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s?__biz=MzA5MTgxOTE5MA==&mid=2649378864&idx=1&sn=8a195866c60ffdc7990d6e3a854125dc&scene=5&srcid=0725j2uloveQzdrSRXZn05XZ#rd

爺爺退休了，報名上了老人大學，

正讀一年級的孫子好奇地問：“爺爺，你還讀書啊?”

爺爺說：“我讀書有什麼不好嗎?”

孫子說：“好是好，就是萬一你學校通知開家長會，那你怎麼辦呢?”

豬被殺後向佛祖哭訴：佛祖，我太冤了，吃了一輩子剩飯、泔水，最後還要被殺，供人享用。

佛祖說：你上輩子不聽民間疾苦，今生讓你長個大耳朵；

你看不起老百姓，今生讓你長個眯縫眼；

你總愛說大話，今生讓你嘴巴前突；

你老坐辦公室，今生讓你四肢短小；

你搞二奶多，今生讓你長一排奶頭；

你平時吃的剩飯，喝的泔水是你上輩子浪費掉的。

豬疑惑的說：難道我上輩子是個國家幹部？

三字經翻譯

        人之初：At the beginning of life。

　　性本善：Sex is good。

　　性相近：Basically, all the sex are same。

　　習相遠：But it depends on how you do it。

　　苟不教：If you do not practice all the time。

　　性乃遷：Sex will leave you。

　　教之道：The way of  learning it。

　　貴以專：It is very important to make love with only one person。

　　昔孟母：Once a great mother, Mrs Meng。

　　擇鄰處：Choose her neighbor to avoid bad sex influence。

　　子不學：If you don't study hard。

　　斷機杼：Your Dick will become useless。

　　竇燕山：Dou, the Famous。

　　有義方：Owned a very effective exciting medicine。

　　教五子：All his five son took it。

　　名俱揚：And their sexual ability were well-known。

　　養不教：If your children don't know how to do it。

　　父之過：It is all your fault。

　　教不嚴：If they had lots of problems with it。

　　師之惰：Their teacher must be too lazy to tell them details on sex。

　　子不學：You may refuse to study this。

　　非所宜：But that is a real mistake。

　　幼不學：If you don't learn it in childhood。

　　老何為：You will lose your ability when aged。

　　玉不琢：If you don't exercise your dick。

　　不成器：It won't become hard and strong。

　　人不學：If you don't learn sex。

　　不知義：You can by no means enjoy its sweetness。