Exceptionally Painful Word Puns From: Jason

With the painful puns that litter your credits each week, I thought there might be someone there who would wait for a lean week and make some or all of the following the lame joke of the week: (See illustration in no.1 &2.)

1. Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. (Arby traitor)

2. Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do. (Avoid a bull) 3. Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage.

4. Burglarize: What a crook sees with.

5. Control: A short, ugly inmate.

6. Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

7. Eclipse: What an English barber does for a living.

8. Eyedropper: A clumsy ophthalmologist.

9. Heroes: What a guy in a boat does.

10. Left Bank: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.

11. Misty: How golfers create divots.

12. Paradox: Two physicians.

13. Parasites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

14. Pharmacist: A helper on the farm.

15. Polarize: What penguins see with.

16. Primate: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

17. Relief: What trees do in the spring.

18. Rubberneck: What you do to relax your wife.

19. Seamstress: Describes 250 pounds in a size 6.

20. Selfish: What the owner of a seafood store does.

21. Sudafed: Brought litigation against a government official.

22. Subdued: Like a guy, like works on one of those, like, submarines, man!

(Copied from Car Talk)