诚实的老婆（笑话）

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, “I  clocked
you at 80 miles per hour, sir.”

 The driver: “Sorry, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps
 your  radar gun needs calibrating ?”

 Not looking up from her knitting, the wife says: “Now don't be silly,
 dear, you  know that this car doesn't have cruise control.”

 As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife
 and  growls, “Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?”

 The wife smiles demurely and says, “You should be thankful your radar
 detector  went off when it did.”

 As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector
 unit,  the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
 “Dammit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?”

 The officer frowns and says, “And I notice that you're not  wearing your
 seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.”

 The driver says, “Yeah,  well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it
 off when you pulled me over so  that I could get my license out of my
 back pocket.”

 The wife says, “Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have  your
 seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt.”

 As the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns
 to his  wife and barks, “WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??”

 The officer looks over at the woman and asks, “Does your husband  always
 talk to you this way, Ma'am?”

The wife smiles and says, “Only when he's been drinking.”