英文原创爆笑:Xi is the new leader of |
送交者: jiyi 2012年01月06日02:19:29 于 [笑林之声] 发送悄悄话 |
10 years have passed since Mr. Hu Jingtao became president of China. In 2012, Mr. Xi Jinping will become China’s new president. White House is once again having a discussion of the new leader in China. Characters: Barak is the President; Hillary is the secretary of the States; Bill No. 1 is the former President; Bill No. 2 is the President’s Chief of Staff. (In the Rose Garden of the White House) Hillary: Mr. President. China will have a new president this year. Barak: Who is the new leader of China? Hillary: No, Hu will be retiring. Xi (she) is the new leader of China. Barak: Who is she? Hillary: No, Hu is Hu, Xi is Xi. Barak: I know Hu is a guy. Now will they have a female leader in China? Hillary: No, Xi is a guy too. Barak: She is a guy? Who is he? Hillary: Yes. Hu is a he. Barak: I know Hu is he. Then who is She? Hillary: No, Hu is Hu, Xi is Xi. Barak: You just said She is a guy? Hillary: Yes. Barak: How dare you say she is a guy! If she is a guy, then I will be a lady. Hillary: No, I am a lady, you are a guy. Barak: Then why you call she is a guy? Hillary: Because Xi is a guy! Barak: How do you know she is a guy? Hillary: Because Xi was married, Xi has a wife. Barak: Does China also approve same sex marriage? Hillary: No. Barak: Then why she can marry to a woman? Hillary: Because Xi is a man. Barak: You mean she is a man? Hillary: Yes sir. Barak: I know Yasser is a man, but he is a dead man. Hu picked she? Hillary: Yes sir. Barak: Let’s forget Yasser, he is dead already. Ok? Hillary: Ok. In order to know Xi better, I have sent someone to meet him. Barak: Mind your grammar, Ms. Secretary of the States! The object pronoun of she is her, not him, Ok? No wonder why I insist education all the time. So, who did you send to meet She? Hillary: Locke. Barak: Lock? You send a lock? What the hell a lock will do? Too naïve, too simple! We have the most advanced technology in the world, you should send her an iPhone 6. I am tired of this nonsense. Bill? (He called out.) Hillary: Sir, we are in the Rose Garden now, not in a restaurant. Barak: I am not going to pay anything. Hillary: Yes, I know the taxpayer will pay for us. Barak: No, no. Stop talking about tax, it makes me feel sick. I just want Bill. Do you know where is my Bill? Hillary: No. I did not bring cash with me. If you need money, I can give you my credit card. Barak: No, I do not want money. I want the guy, Bill. Hillary: Oh, I did not bring Bill with me either. He is now being interviewed by my daughter. Barak: Bill is looking for a new job? I thought he is happy with me. Hillary: No, Bill is happy with me! He is loyal to me, while, most of the time. Most importantly, he is not a gay. He will not be happy with you. Barak: Ok, that Bill! Then why is he interviewed by his own daughter? Is he gonna work for her? Hillary: No, my daughter is now a correspondent for a media. She is responsible for "Making a Difference". Barak: No need of her, I can make the difference here: Your Bill is not my Bill. Here comes my Bill. Bill: Yes, sir? Barak: No more Yasser, Please! He is history.Now tell me who won the Iowa caucus? Bill: Mitt. Barak: Meat? I thought Iowa is famous for its beef. Bill: Yes. Barak: Then who won? Bill: Mitt. Barak: I hate meat. Beef is juicier and more delicious. So tell me who won the Iowa caucus? Bill: Mitt. Barak: Ok, meat! But I prefer meatloaf. Oh, probably also a bowl of Rice, and a cup of Kofi. And when you pay the Bill, do not forget to get a receipt! We need reimbursement from the taxpayers. (Author declaration: this is created for pure fun only, no disrespectfulness exists for anyone). 也许是画蛇添足,不过为帮助不熟悉政治的朋友更好理解这些笑话,做一点注释: Locke:Gary Locke,美国驻华大使 Mitt: Mitt Romney, 美国共和党总统候选人之一 Yasser: Yasser arafat,巴勒斯坦前领导人 Rice: Condoleezza Rice, 美国前国务卿 Kofi: Kofi Annan, 前联合国秘书长 (更多笑话请参观我的博客: http://blog.creaders.net/jiyimobuqu/user_blog_diary.php?did=100803) |
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