Nightmare #1
>
> After a long night of making love, the young guy
> rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and
> searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked
> the girl if she had one at hand.
>
> "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she
> replied.
>
> He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a
> box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed
> picture of another man.
>
> Naturally, the guy began to worry.
>
> "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
>
> "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
>
> "Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
>
> "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
>
> "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
>
> Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the
> operation."
>
>
>
> Nightmare #2
>
> The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he
> was trying to think of a way to rekindle it.
>
> One night he came from work, and found his wife asleep
> in bed.
>
> He thought to himself, "what should I do?"
>
> "Oh-I know." He proceeded to get under the covers and
> go down on his wife.
>
> Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure.
>
> After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as
> she climaxed.
>
> Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to
> brush his teeth.
>
> When he got there, the light was on and he saw his
> wife there shaving her legs.
>
> He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?"
>
> She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake
> your mother"
>
>
>
> Nightmare #3
>
> One night a guy takes his girlfriend home.
>
> As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the
> front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny.
>
> With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand
> against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey,
> would you give me a blow job?"
>
> Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will
> see us!"
>
> "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks
> grinning at her.
>
> "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
>
> "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all
> sleeping!"
>
> "No way. It's just too risky!"
>
> "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
>
> "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
>
> "Oh yes you can. Please?"
>
> "No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you..."
>
> Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and
> the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair
> disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says
> to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it.
> Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and
> do it. But for God's sake tell him to take his hand
> off the intercom!"
>
>