At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared thecomputer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept upwith the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving$25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press releasestating, "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all bedriving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they painted new lines on the road, you would have to buya new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. Youwould have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows,shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you couldcontinue.For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, xxxxuting a maneuver such as a left turn would causeyour car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would havetoreinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought"CarNT," but then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but it would only run onfive percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all bereplaced by a single "general protection fault" warning light.

8. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

9. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you outand refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.

10. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set ofRand McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither neednor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause thecar's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. Moreover, GM wouldbecome a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

11. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learnto drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in thesame manner as the old car.

12. You'd have to press the "start" button to turn the engine off!