A lawyer joke.

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared
for the answer:

In a trial, a Southern, small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness to the stand;

an older, grandmotherly woman. He approached her and asked..."Mrs. Jones,
do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've know you since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to
me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The Lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked,

"Mrs. Jones...do you know the defense attorney? She again replied, "Why
yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's
lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal
relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the
state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women,
one of which was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost
fainted.

The judge asked both stunned counselors to approach the bench, and in a
very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows
me, I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt"