2015-05-31

【Aiden in English】

        Graduation is a critical milestone in life, especially for Chinese school. This is because the more boring it is, the more satisfactory learning Chinese forever is. The only thing was painful to witness a graduation when you’re not finished yet. Unfortunately, that was the case for me anyway.

        The term “bitter-sweet” is a weird phrase because sometimes, it’s “bitterer” than “sweet”. It’s far too bitter to see kids say final, polite goodbyes which on the inside seemed like “See you, suckers!” while I was burning to death in the audience under a glass roof. The sweet part was the fact that this time was a great hours worth of jokes with my friends. Hey! We were bored, okay? Besides, do adults actually think they can get 200, sweaty, loud kids that don’t even give a crap to cooperate? Well, pigs will fly and the world will end before that happens, so good luck! For all the more sensible people, you see my point. If the school wants us to know that these “great” kids are graduating, it isn’t cool to rub it in our faces. There are more useful things I could be doing on a perfectly find Sunday than get heat stroke and dehydration while all the graduates blabbed on about their “amazing” experience. I don’t want to be a hypocrite, but I’ll probably have to lie in the same way. Wow, maybe the true feelings at the core aren’t always a pleasant idea for sharing. I guess sometimes the truth can hurt, and it’s better to judge a book by its cover.

        It’s not just the audience feeling discomfort, but the graduates as well. As I guarantee you, some of them on stage have some dark thoughts as well, like “This is my final year. My mom is finally proud of me, and you decide to embarrass us on the last day?!!” or “You don’t have to drag anyone here to get bored to death. That’s genocide!” or “Man, these graduation uniforms surely are hot. I’ve once heard somewhere you can get heat-stroke in hot outfits.” What was even more humiliating was the fact that each student had video they had to share about their experiences at the Chinese school. Something told me that the content had to be positive. No way would these kids be so nice. 

        The graduation ceremony lasted good hours. To be honest, I like my new shirts not soaked in sweat, not to complain or anything. I also find that sweat has a salty taste. I guess now, the phrase is “bitter, sweet and salty”.

【红霞译文】

         “苦甜”这个术语本身组合怪异，因为“苦涩”嫉妒有时确实比“甜蜜”羡慕更加难受，“再见了，倒霉鬼！”没有比目睹师哥学姐们外表看似珍重惜别但内心却无法掩饰幸灾乐祸的场面更令人酸楚，坐在玻璃窗下的我快要被炙热的太阳烧焦。苦中找乐，大家没忘自寻开心。嘿！同伴们百无聊赖，闲得慌成吗？难道父母们真以为有本事把二百来号满头冒汗叽叽喳喳从不配合的孩童镇住？假如果真如此，恐怕蠢猪会平步青云，世界末日即刻来临，咱走着瞧！聪明人一点就明，毕业生的确个个“了不起”，但犯不上在徒弟面前招摇过市。今天星期日我可以找其它更有兴趣的事情来做，干什么都比在这里中暑脱水强，何苦来听前辈们显摆自己“非凡”经历，我可不想当伪君子，但将来有一天可能口不对心。哎哟，或许说真话的确犯忌，既然忠言逆耳有损自尊心，大家只要留神光鲜的外表足矣。

        其实不仅观众感觉不爽，毕业生也是如此，我敢说台上不少难兄难姐同样牢骚满腹。“这是最后一年，老妈终于能为我骄傲以我为荣，丑媳妇好不容易熬成婆？！！”“您不必再费神逼儿女过这种无聊透顶的日子，任意挥霍大好时光！”“哇塞，毕业服真棒，我好像在哪听说过穿上这种帅气的套装难逃中暑下场。”更有甚者，每位毕业生提供了一段视频录像，现场与大家分享各自的学习生涯，据说内容要积极阳光，难怪毕业生说得比唱得动听。

        毕业典礼持续了好几个钟头。坦率地说，我喜欢今儿穿的这件新汗衫，凉快不热，没啥好抱怨的，身上的汗臭气散发出一股咸了吧唧的味道，让我透过“苦甜咸”从羡慕嫉妒恨的情感之中嗅到人间百味。