2015-07-13

【Aiden in English】

        Today sounds easy in an ideal perfect world. Spit out information and let the kids suck it up. Every kid pays attention and the entire class participates in activities. But when reality comes into play, being forced to learn during summer break is anything but ideal for kids. As for being a teacher assistant, this is why I was hired.

        I have never babysat anyone in my entire life. Maybe technically I have on my baby cousin, but at least she listens. This was my first time ever being close to a teacher, and let’s just say that after today, I’m changing my career. Being the assistant, I had to take care of the kids so that they didn’t distract others during lessons. Now, if there is one thing to complain to the school, which I think there are many, it is supposed to separate the age groups. I happened to deal with a 6-year-old kid who would fake cry everytime we told him to: A) can you be a little quieter? or B) shut your yapping mouth. In the end, I was ordered to take him out, which I would happily take that statement with both meanings with pleasures. So I dragged him to the room next door, and watched him shoot down a platoon of starships. Apparently, he had a secret weapon as well: a marker. 

        However, that kid wasn’t the only issue. The next part sort of turns me into a hypocrite because I used to do that too, and it’s not something I’m proud of. A little girl came to the camp/summer school in the morning, and felt like a pain in the donkey. The girl was afraid of being left alone without her mom in a room of strangers. I don’t blame her since I wouldn’t want to be here either. But the second her mom left, she started bawling her eyes out. The worst was yet to come. 

        The reason I was here was to teach both Chinese Chess and Chinese Yo-Yo classes, neither of which went exactly as I wanted to. In Chinese Chess, only four kids actually played. The rest did other stuff, and hopefully that wasn’t because of me. But the true challenge came when I started to teach the Yo-Yo. You know, being a teacher requires you to get along with all kinds of kids in any situation. Well, that’s gonna be tough for me since when no one could correctly spin the Yo-Yo, I got … annoyed. I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and I was explaining the motions just like my teacher. I guess this year’s batch wasn’t as talented. I had to run around, managing all the kid’s problems. From my prospective, it was chaos. Some kid’s string was too long, another’s snapped. The three other kids were chanting my name to teach them how the Yo-Yo as it turning while spinning it, and my answer was: “Follow the direction of the Yo-Yo as it turns! I can’t hand you everything!” The other teacher assistants were useless too, because they were a part of the silly group. I can’t ever trust anyone else to do my own work. Being a teacher is a lot harder, you see. When students don’t get something, then I get every vexed because I’m failing to do my job. I think now I know why teachers always want you to cooperate. It’s their job, if the students don’t learn and you are a bad teacher. That’s probably why this career was erased. Being a teacher doesn’t just require a good explanation, you need to have faith in the students to get good grades. This job relies too much on the laziest people in our society, and the fact that my career running on a bunch of kids is sort of, oh, scary.

        In an ideal world, everything will go your way. You can pick your job and be good at it. But it’s tough when the job you want to be good at doesn’t depend on how good you do it, but how good someone else does. 

        Here is attached a quote about the teaching principle. “Effective teaching strikes a delicate balance between the self confidence that students must develop to become independent thinkers and the humility they must maintain to recognize how much more they have to learn. In this process, moreover, it is not so much the intellectual superiority of the teacher that counts as it is his maturity in facing the unknown and his willingness to leave unanswerable questions unanswered.”

【紅霞譯文】

        對於生活在一個理想而完美世界的人來說，今天跟往常一樣覺察不出什麼特別的地方，發出通知，要求每個小朋友全力以赴參加集體活動。但實際上在暑假期間，真正對那些被迫來參加夏令營的頑童實施這些規定談何容易，當然這也是為什麼我被雇來作助教的原因。

        我從未當過保姆幫人看管小孩，也許認真地說我曾經帶過自己的小不點表妹，起碼她很聽話。這輩子好不容易挨到今天才冠冕堂皇干點跟教師沾邊的事情，不料我卻改變了主意，從今往後與教師職業無緣。身為助教，我必須照看孩子，讓他們在學習時保持精力集中。話說至此，假如允許提一個意見（其實還有很多），我倒覺得夏令營應該按年齡分組。碰巧我手下有一位年僅六歲的淘氣包，每逢要他安靜一會或者別再嘰嘰哇哇叫個不停的時候，他立馬裝哭，結果我只好按要求帶他離開教室，其實單憑他個色表現早該這麼處理。我拽着他去了隔壁教室，眼瞅他消滅一個兵團虛構的飛船，看來他手中還握有秘密武器：記號筆桿子。

        然而這個淘氣包不是唯一添亂的傢伙，另一位小姑娘讓我覺得自己倒像個正人君子，雖說平日經常這麼做，但並非出自本意。小姑娘早晨來上夏令營／暑期培訓班時糾結萬分，因此捨不得離開媽媽而去跟滿屋子陌生面孔的人混在一起，我非常理解她的心情，因為我也不願意呆在這個地方，等她母親剛一轉身，小姑娘瞪大眼珠，扯開嗓門嚎啕大哭起來，後頭還有好戲可看。

        我到這裡的原因是來講授中國象棋和抖空竹兩門才藝課，其實哪一門進行得都不隨意。中國象棋課上，僅有四個孩子樂意動手，其他學生各干各的，但願不是因為我才這麼做。真正考驗我的是從教大家抖空竹開始，誰都知道作為老師，不管任何場合都應該善於跟各種類型的學生相處，對我而言，這可不是一般性的挑戰，尤其在沒人能夠拿捏得當讓空竹轉動的時候，我開始……起急。錯不在我，我已經照着自個老師的樣子講解了空竹運作機制，大概由於這幫學生缺乏悟性，所以我只好手把手地教，一個示範接着一個示範地做。站在我這個角度，那場景可真夠亂成一鍋粥，有的孩子線繩過長，有的線繩纏到一起，另有三個孩子索性直呼本人大名要學空竹抖動起來以後打轉的技巧，我直言相告：“先順着空竹轉動的方向抖起來再說！甭想一口吃成胖子！”別的助教一點也幫不上忙，因為他們跟這些學生半斤八兩，我委實不能依賴任何人。你看當園丁有多辛苦，假如學生犯糊塗，那我心裡跟着發毛，因為說明自己沒有勝任本職工作。直到現在我才明白為什麼老師們總要求學生有合作精神，老師的職責就是教書育人，如果學生學的不好，那麼老師罪責難逃，怪不得教師行業停滯不前，因為人們看重的不是老師授課水平，而是學生的考試能力，但在當今社會裡，這類工作好壞過分依賴懶人表現。這不，我的職業生涯成敗完全取決於眼前這幫愣頭青一舉一動，天呀，太可怕了。

        理想的人生本應事事如願，你可以根據特長選擇職業，但傷腦筋的是，工作做得好壞並非取決於你個人能力，而是取決於別人的參與程度。

        順便附上一個放之四海而皆準的教學原則：“卓有成效的教學在於加強學生獨立思考能力及其信心，培養他們對所學領域不斷進取的欲望。 因此在整個過程中，重要的並非是教師本身具備的廣博學識，而是教師如何面對未知並對無法解答的問題充滿熱情。”