2016-01-24

【Aiden in English】

        2016 so far has been a letdown. I didn’t get a single 105% on any tests or make an NFL team. 2016 didn’t even give me the winning ticket to the 1.5 billion-dollar Powerball in January. And of all people, it’s given to a guy who dies the next day. The least the New Year could provide was a little flurry of snow, right?

        Well, the flurry turned out to be a lot more than “a flurry” in the Great Philadelphia Area, and the year 2016 suddenly got a ton cozier, which is quite odd, considering the snow was anything but. The high temp of that faithful Saturday was thirty degrees in Fahrenheit at noon, not that the sun was out. The blizzard kicked in the day before, lasting throughout the night and into Saturday’s evening. By then, a good two feet and five inches had fallen, adding on the snow stacked up with the gusts of wind.

        Unfortunately, it snowed on a Saturday, which meant the amount of missed school days deflated like the New England Patriots football. Speaking of football, fortunately, it snowed on a Saturday, which meant no Chinese School on Sunday. In turns, I was able to watch AFC and NFC Championships at home, eating chips, and hoping the Patriots lose, which they did. It actually turned out pretty well, considering I was totally going to flunk the weekly quiz in Chinese School. Hey, I’m a procrastinator. Mom yelled at me for being lazy, and I yelled back at saying how I was the one that had to eat all the dishes grandma cooked, since no one else did. I also used the excuse that the NFC Championship game was close (it wasn’t; the Arizona Cardinals got crushed 15-49 by Carolina Panthers). Trust me, it works every time, especially when mom doesn’t even know where the scoreboard is to check if I’m lying (ha-ha). In addition, I could always flip the channel to a nerdy show starring the ghost of Albert Einstein that talked about E=MC2 and the quantum entanglement. Boy, mom would let me quit piano if I actually learned from those shows, which I never do. However, the stuff sounds cool, though.

        Peyton Manning ended up beating Tom Brady. After my celebration and jeering at the NE Patriots, I gave them some credit at putting up 336 yards against the Denver Bronco’s stunning defense, with an astonishing 292 of them coming through the air. Then looking at the two picks thrown by Brady, the 20 hits he got and the four quarterback sacks, I started laughing at the Patriots again. The snow day delivered a gift I never would’ve imagined. I potentially could’ve gotten to see the final Brady-P. Manning match-up ever, as I’m telling you that Peyton is getting old. At least he’s still got another chance at a Super Bowl to go.

【紅霞譯文】

        迄今為止，2016年一直有負眾望，我既未拿過一個105分考試成績，也無緣問津國家橄欖球聯盟球隊，甚至連一張壹月份火爆出爐的15億美元強力球彩票都指望不上，倒是目睹了不少一夜暴富的幸運者第二天命歸西天。還好新年新氣象，大自然欣然送來片片雪花，不是嗎？

        是啊，晶瑩剔透的雪花漫天飛舞，東海岸大費城地區到處銀裝素裹，2016年老天爺突然慷慨激昂，真叫我有點消受不起。原本靠得住的星期六中午氣溫不過華氏卅度／攝氏零下一度，太陽趁機溜之大吉，而暴風雪早在前一天就已經付諸行動，並連夜重兵集結，星期六又從白天到晚間持續鏖戰，再加上狂風肆虐，兩天后鳴金收軍時，積雪已達到29英寸／74厘米。

        不幸的是，下大雪那天恰逢星期六，這就意味着學校放假的希望如同新英格蘭愛國者隊員手中撒氣的橄欖球趨於渺茫。既然說起橄欖球，我由衷感嘆暴風雪來的正是時候，言外之意星期天中文學校不得不關門停課，由此說來，我可以堂而皇之地居家觀看美國橄欖球聯合會和國家橄欖球聯合會兩場冠軍爭奪戰，一邊咀嚼薯條垃圾，一邊做着黃粱美夢，期待愛國者隊被淘汰出局，結果如願以償，真是天助我也，否則哪有時間迎戰每周一次的中文測驗。嘿，我喜歡臨陣磨槍。媽媽抱怨我懶惰成性，而我據理力爭，責怪家裡只有我一人毫無條件地消滅掉外婆所做的每道飯菜。我爭取擺事實講道理，國家橄欖球聯合會角逐難解難分，實際上15比49，亞利桑那紅雀隊被卡羅來納黑豹隊打得落花流水。相信我好了，每次搪塞媽媽都不成問題，即使我成心蒙人，媽媽絕對搞不清比分牌面朝何方，哈哈。除此而外，我不停地將電視頻道轉換到書呆子節目台上，裝扮成愛因斯坦的幽靈出任主角，高談闊論E=MC2能量守恆定律及量子糾纏。天哪，即使媽媽同意我放棄鋼琴來鑽研電視劇所傳授的奇葩學問，打死我也做不到，然而，裡面涉及的內容乍聽上去確實有趣。

        四分衛培頓·曼寧擊敗了湯姆·布雷迪，我在慶祝之餘少不了拿新英格蘭愛國者開涮，但實事求是地說，他們緊逼防守出色的丹佛野馬隊336碼，其中292嗎來自空中傳球。再來回顧布雷迪投擲的被截住的兩個球、廿次被對方球員衝撞的場面以及四次四分衛擒殺，愛國者隊令我忍俊不禁。暴風雪天給我送來了難以想象的禮物，讓我有可能親眼目睹布雷迪和曼寧之間最後一次交鋒，我告訴你吧，曼寧到了歲數，但至少他另有一次機會參加美國橄欖球超級盃決賽。