2016-02-14

【Aiden in English】

        I must admit, the Chinese New Year Gala is amazing, hosted by Guanghua Chinese School of PA. However, it is so stressful for the students who are going to perform on the stage. You know, it’s really tough when your parents act like the people on Shark Tank all the time, not interested in anything. You get an A, they want an A+. You get an A+, they want an A++. You find the cure to AIDs, they want you to find the cure to cancer. I mean, you get used to it after a bit, yet it’s very frustrating especially when the parents are rarely impressed. In general, the Chinese are characteristic of pessimism. Instead of seeing how good someone does a skill, they always look at what they don’t do well. To be honest, I want those judgers to try to match my skills after today.

        Don’t do you best, do my best. That’s my challenge to all those similar people to my mom who went Aiden, you messed up! Well, it’s no one like you can do these Yo-Yo tricks after only a five-minute practice. The show started off fair enough. Nothing was out of the ordinary other than the obvious threat of being embarrassed in front of a crowd. It was another Chinese Yo-Yo performance. You know, the performance can really make some people go nuts. For example, a kid just couldn’t complete his trick, although I was still doubtful he practiced. Instead, he took one of my tricks, and so I had to improvise. The new move wasn’t hard at all… unless you were performing in five minutes. It was called the… Chopsticks. Actually, I just made it up on the spot. Anyway, you held the sticks like… chopsticks, and hopped the Yo-Yo up between the sticks, then on top, and if talented, went back down. It was accompanied by a trick done last year which I did. Therefore it should be no problemo, right?

        I wasn’t nervous. Yeah, yeah, everyone said that, but seriously, I wasn’t nervous. At least until all the solos before me messed up here or there. The kid who tried my trick dropped the Yo-Yo and almost had it roll off stage (that would’ve sucked). And thus, without any pressure (sarcasm), I flawlessly went through the older trick, and later moved on to the… Chopsticks (maybe I should find a better name). So, going up was no problem. It was then that I realized how squished my index finger was between the sticks. Ouch! As you guessed it, on the way down, the Yo-Yo went plop on the floor. The room went silent for a second, and all you could hear was the music. Soon, a gasp erupted from the crowd. All I could think was how at least they didn’t say I was a disgrace to the Yo-Yo team. After all, it was a very Chinese-thing to say.

        And there you have it folks. Now I’m famous for not because I completed a trick, but because I missed one. All I can say is that no one who thought I was bad could match my best. So until I actually see some skill, I’m throwing out all the criticism, as there’s no weight behind the punch.

【红霞译文】

        “勤羊辞旧千家喜，顽猴闹春万户福”。我必须承认，由宾州光华中文学校举办的“春晚”联欢会精彩至极，然而对于肩负表演的学生来说，心里难免感觉压力重重，要知道父母们无一不像美国真人秀《创智赢家》那样心气旺眼眶高，轻易不会满足现状。你得了“A”，他们希望你得“A+”；一旦你得了“A+”，他们又期待你得“A++”。当你闯出治愈艾滋病的门路，他们还企求你去攻克癌症难关，几经这般锤炼之后，你逐渐习以为常。“书山有路勤为径，学海无涯苦作舟“，父母的高标准严要求无异于叫你生命不息奋斗不止。一般而言，炎黄子孙比较倾向冷色调，不太善于赞扬他人的优点，而往往喜欢找出不足的地方。坦率地说，我倒盼望各位长辈从今往后能够客观地评判本人演艺能力。

        且莫按照你的能力标准来衡量他人，相反应该切合我的实际情况而为，这正是我要面对妈妈之辈发出的挑战，“儿歌，你演砸了！”是的，恐怕没人敢把仅仅经手五分钟的空竹绝技搬上“春晚”舞台。表演开始时一切按计划进行，我如同其它场合表演空竹一样，在全场观众面前并没有出丑露怯。想必你有体会，有人在台上难免出现突发状态。举一个实例来说，有位同伴刚一出场脑袋立刻犯懵，甚至想不起来该做什么动作，我禁不住纳闷这家伙事先可否好好练过。令人抓狂的是，他楞要表演我的拿手好戏，害得我只好临时改变招式。新的动作可谓会者不难……难者不会，问题在于登台前只有五分钟时间供我练习，我称它为……“筷子”，纯属即兴发挥。表演步骤是这样的，像拿筷子一样用手握住小棍子，先让空竹在棍子之间弹跳，接着再使劲上抛让它脱离棍子，假如技术到家，最终它应落到棍子下方。记得去年表演时，我曾用一根棍子完成过类似的动作，今年两根棍子齐上，估摸着问题不大，对不对？

        我并不紧张，是的没错，大家到头来还以为我怯场，说真的根本没那回事，何况在我上阵之前，所有单人特技表演或多或少均有失误，前面提到那位跟我横刀夺爱的哥们把空竹抖到了地上，而且空竹差点滚到台下，后果不堪设想。这么一来，在没有任何压力的前提下（天大的笑话），我漂亮地完成了老套动作，然后拿出……“筷子”（也许该起个更好听的名字）。上抛空竹一点不成问题，接下来我发觉食指被勒在两根棍子之间动弹不得，哎哟！你猜得出，空竹下落时一头“栽”到地上。顷刻之间，全场鸦雀无声，唯有音乐伴奏依然在大厅里回响，随后观众们不约而同地发出了一声叹嘘，幸亏空竹团队的光辉形象并未因此受到什么影响，毕竟咱中国人讲究面子哇。

        对不住亲们，这下我名声在外，说来不是因为完成整套动作，而是出于临场失误，我想借机申述一点，本人水平有限，但确实尽了自己最大努力，针对各种批评意见，我将本着“有则改之无则加勉”的原则，争取提高技艺。