2016-06-23

【Aiden in English】

        London is a miserable city. Not that it feels anything much more than the constant renovations of busy ants building their homes, but it simply has a vibe of being depressing. One would say it is because of us, or the wars, or the rants of nonsense and crazy Shakespearian plays. Nevertheless, the city seems to always shed tears of pain every single day. 

        Our flight landed in Heathrow, London at around 11:35 this morning. The mood of the city had settled in, using AccuWeather to deliver its misery. The next five-day forecast had literally not a single drop of the beautiful gold touch of sunlight that made the small Emoji so much better. The pale, gray clouds of the small predictive window looked so ...scary and unfriendly. Not to mention the idea of rain, as the app reported "chances" of thunderstorms. But, as the saying says, all the water in the world can't bring a boat down if it doesn't get inside. 

        I regret quoting that phrase. 

        The Tower of London, which is more like a medieval castle, is full of pain, suffering, screams, torture, betrayal, and death. Not exactly the pictured ideal Disney castle, but I'm sure someone at the company will make a movie based on a haunted castle. And maybe even for once, the main character dies and doesn't find true happiness and love. That is exactly why it should be filmed in London, where all there can be is misery and rain. They say rain is god's tears. 

        The prison tower has quite a background story. It had successfully played a role in holding many criminals and pre-executed people, including Rudolf Hitler, and William Penn, our favorite guy (if you live in Pennsylvania). The Tower of London is more famous for executions than any other aspect since so many were performed, and all were bloody. Tales of betrayal, love triangles, and false accusations contributed to one of the bloodiest places on earth, causing the ground to run red, rampage with a rage of the dead. The Chapel Royal of St. Peter & Vincula where the guide spoke acted as a betrayal for many dead ones, including one of the wives of King Henry the V. Most had no engraved marks on where the body was located, meaning the coffin contained a traitor, and even some others had their bodies burnt so they couldn't pass onto heaven. It seemed as if the powers from above had rained down their hatred on these criminals, showing torture and a certain few, painful deaths. Just with that said, mom took a photo inside the little church, and I swear, thunder rumbled and the sky trembled and the crowd all looked at my mom. We survived the embarrassment, as mom apparently wasn't in the room when the guide said clearly "no pictures". We went to the restrooms to find ourselves in a situation that we were unprepared for. 

        You know the saying about the water and the boat. Well, I'm pretty sure the water broke a hole in the hull of the ship, letting water freely gush through at will. Before I knew it, I was back at the water park from the last year. This time, it felt much colder and not fun whatsoever. We ran along the ramparts, hiding in a shelter, as the rain gushed down in torrents. Small streams were beginning to form from the overspill of the gutters, and the old cobblestones were quickly becoming too slippery to run on. So there we were cold, soaked, mad, and surprised to see how fast the weather changed. A lesson that you should all understand: never take a photo in a church when God is angry. Or maybe it's just the Brits voting for the separation of the U.K. and the EU?

【紅霞譯文】

        倫敦真可謂一座淒涼的城市，比起那些鞠躬盡瘁的螞蟻還要悲催，天色昏暗陰沉，心頭難免橫生一種壓抑之情，有人把它嫁禍到我們外來客身上，也有人指責世界戰事不斷，還有人添油加醋，怪罪瘋狂莎士比亞戲劇一語成讖。總而言之，倫敦好像每天都傷心落淚。

        我們的航班於今天上午11：35在倫敦希思羅國際機場降落，偏偏趕上氣象台預告的倒霉日子，好在未來五天暫無雨水騷擾，小小圖繪字符才有了用武之地。日後短短幾天內，蒼白髮灰的烏雲依然盤旋上空，顯得非常……恐怖，而且缺乏友善，天氣預報軟件推測“可能”有雷陣雨發生，倫敦與雨水難解難分。俗話說過，漏水的船才會沉沒。

        我後悔引用上述諺語。

        倫敦塔看上去更像中世紀城堡，飽經痛苦、煎熬、怒吼、折磨、背叛及死亡之蹂躪，與迪斯尼城堡相比略有差異。我敢打賭，娛樂界肯定會把眼前這座鬧鬼城堡拍成一部電影，其中主人公直到臨終前都未能找到幸福與真愛，而該場景只能設在倫敦，唯有這座城市才疾苦深重陰雨連綿，人們常說雨是上帝的眼淚。

        監獄塔歷史悠久，曾經關押許多敵人和即將走上斷頭台的的囚犯，其中包括魯道夫·希特勒，還有我們喜愛的人物威廉·潘（假如你住在賓州）。倫敦塔尤以殺人著稱，許多帝王將相達官貴人都被囚禁於此並處以死刑，場面慘不忍睹。因為通姦、三角戀及錯判而導致的屠殺使之成為世上最為血腥的地方之一，監獄塔血流成河，甚至對死人也不放過。導遊站在聖彼得及溫庫拉皇家禮拜堂內說，這座小教堂埋葬了很多犯有通姦罪的皇室成員，包括亨利五世的諸多妻子之一，不少墓碑並沒有留下名字，因此無從查詢埋葬地點，只知道棺材裡躺的是通姦犯，有的甚至被焚化以表示再也不能進入天堂。如此看來，權力之爭淵源已久，失勢者被當成罪犯遭受酷刑，為數不少的被折磨致死。話音剛落，媽媽隨手拍攝了一張小教堂內景相片，我發誓此時此刻雷聲轟鳴天地翻騰，遊客的目光一下子全部集中到媽媽身上，真叫人下不來台，顯然，導遊先前強調“禁止照相”的時候媽媽並不在場，結果自己還覺得心裡委屈。

        想必你已經知道有關水與船的諺語，是啊，我堅信如果船體沒被穿透，水是不會進入船艙的，而本人去年到水上公園遊玩時才明白這個道理。當然今夏倫敦冷得要命，直接影響到旅遊情趣，況且大雨傾盆，我們只好沿着城牆疾步奔走，躲在屋檐下進退兩難。水柱順着管道狂瀉而出，浸濕了鵝卵石老路，路面開始打滑，跑起來非常吃力。我們凍得發冷，渾身上下全部被雨水打濕，簡直花錢買罪受，倫敦的天氣變臉真比翻書還快。但願大家從我們的經歷中汲取教訓：當上帝生氣的時候，絕不能在教堂內拍攝相片，否則今天下雨應該是因為英國佬決定退出歐洲聯盟而惹得老天爺難過？