2017-02-26

【Aiden in English】

        Once again, I am faced with Mozart’s Sonata in D Major K448 3rd Movement Allegro for duo pianos and four hands. It has plagued my nights with regrets of performance after performance, mistake after mistake. Funny thing is, those mistakes are all different each time. I specifically target them during practice, but those random errors seemed to appear every time the spotlight turns on. Maybe this time, there won’t be another stupid, embarrassing moments of nervous breakdowns in front of the audience.  Just maybe.

        So far the only time we have made somewhat a flawless run through was at our teacher’s recital. In that case, it counted for nothing.

        However, it does prove that there is a chance of complete success out there, whatever the odds. The last few attempts at the performance of this Mozart were complete failures. Both my partner and I made miserable mess-ups between the few times on stage, each time with a mutual understanding that the other also had screwed up in the past before.

        Today was the day that really counted. We were going to take the show to the Young Pianist Competition of New Jersey where strictly concertos, four hands, and duets were performed. Judged by strict Russian teachers, things seemed a bit biased when it came to the other contenders, most playing sad or depressed and loud melodies. Compared to our sweet, dandy Sonata, we were the odd ones out. Although we were singled out, I can’t say we couldn’t win. This was only the semi-finals, so I don’t expect the type of music to affect our scores too much. However, the judges can always be slightly biased toward kinds of tunes they enjoy listening too, which is a large downside of the music competition business.

        When it became our turn to play, I felt quite jittery and nervous. Approaching the piano, I whispered to myself, “high E and low D”, which were the starting notes for me. Just so I don’t do…what I did last time.

        And of course, I screw up at the start. I get the first notes right, then…I kind of whiffed the next few measures. My partner was lost, so I stopped and restarted. It felt as though the world was crumbling around me, but for some reason, I suppose it was a good thing. At that moment, I understood how even if I did screw up again, it couldn’t be much worse. This mentality led to the best playing and run through of the Sonata we’ve had ever. I guess the lesson to be learned is to play like you have nothing to lose, or like you’ve already lost everything, however depressing it may seem.

【紅霞譯文】

        又到了彈奏莫扎特《D大調奏鳴曲作品K448第三樂章快板》的時候，這首雙鋼琴四手聯彈叫我寢不安席，因為每次登台亮相總免不了出現失誤，有失誤必有遺憾，而每次失誤偏偏各不相同，真令我啼笑皆非。雖說我刻意針對薄弱環節加強練習，可是按下葫蘆浮起瓢，每當聚光燈亮起，這些跳梁小丑便粉墨登場，但願本次表演神經別太緊張，免得在大庭廣眾面前難堪，希望如此。

        迄今為止，我倆唯一一次近乎完美的彈奏就是在老師舉行的匯報演出上，可那算不上什麼了不起。

        然而它確實表明，儘管成功的可能性微乎其微，但還是蠻有指望的。前面經歷幾次嘗試均不理想，我和琴伴在台上各有疏漏，不過彼此相互扶持提攜，畢竟誰都有犯錯的時候。

        今天是咱哥倆大顯身手的日子，我們要到“新澤西青少年鋼琴家比賽”現場一展琴藝，參賽作品僅限於協奏曲、四手聯彈與合奏，表情嚴肅的評委全部為清一色俄羅斯老師，其他所有選手演奏的旋律充滿傷感抑鬱宣泄的情緒，有點叫人捉摸不透；而我倆卻呈上一首甜美絕妙的奏鳴曲，烘托出活潑歡快熱烈的氣氛。雖然表現風格截然不同，但並非等於我們沒有勝算機會，況且今天充其量就是半決賽而已，想必音樂類型不能成為衡量演奏水平的標準，然而評委多多少少都會偏向自己鍾愛的曲調，這對於音樂競賽行業相當不幸。

        輪到我們上台的時候，我感覺異常緊張。走近鋼琴，我暗暗提醒自己：“是高音E而非低音D”，這是開頭第一個音符，千萬不要……像上次那樣。

        沒錯，演奏開始我還是慌了手腳，第一個音彈得倒沒問題，接着……後面幾個小節亂成一鍋糨糊。坐在身旁的琴伴頓時如墜五里霧之中，我停下來重新再來，周圍整個世界仿佛徹底崩潰了，但不知為什麼，我反倒認定壞事變成好事，就在那一瞬間，我清楚地意識到即使下面再出紕漏也不會比現在這種場面更糟糕。思想放開了，我們超水平發揮，整套曲子從頭到尾一氣呵成。我明白一定要去掉禁錮，反正別無可失，何況本來就沒啥值得顧慮的，聽起來好像挺喪氣的。