2017-02-26

【Aiden in English】

        Once again, I am faced with Mozart’s Sonata in D Major K448 3rd Movement Allegro for duo pianos and four hands. It has plagued my nights with regrets of performance after performance, mistake after mistake. Funny thing is, those mistakes are all different each time. I specifically target them during practice, but those random errors seemed to appear every time the spotlight turns on. Maybe this time, there won’t be another stupid, embarrassing moments of nervous breakdowns in front of the audience.  Just maybe.

        So far the only time we have made somewhat a flawless run through was at our teacher’s recital. In that case, it counted for nothing.

        However, it does prove that there is a chance of complete success out there, whatever the odds. The last few attempts at the performance of this Mozart were complete failures. Both my partner and I made miserable mess-ups between the few times on stage, each time with a mutual understanding that the other also had screwed up in the past before.

        Today was the day that really counted. We were going to take the show to the Young Pianist Competition of New Jersey where strictly concertos, four hands, and duets were performed. Judged by strict Russian teachers, things seemed a bit biased when it came to the other contenders, most playing sad or depressed and loud melodies. Compared to our sweet, dandy Sonata, we were the odd ones out. Although we were singled out, I can’t say we couldn’t win. This was only the semi-finals, so I don’t expect the type of music to affect our scores too much. However, the judges can always be slightly biased toward kinds of tunes they enjoy listening too, which is a large downside of the music competition business.

        When it became our turn to play, I felt quite jittery and nervous. Approaching the piano, I whispered to myself, “high E and low D”, which were the starting notes for me. Just so I don’t do…what I did last time.

        And of course, I screw up at the start. I get the first notes right, then…I kind of whiffed the next few measures. My partner was lost, so I stopped and restarted. It felt as though the world was crumbling around me, but for some reason, I suppose it was a good thing. At that moment, I understood how even if I did screw up again, it couldn’t be much worse. This mentality led to the best playing and run through of the Sonata we’ve had ever. I guess the lesson to be learned is to play like you have nothing to lose, or like you’ve already lost everything, however depressing it may seem.

【红霞译文】

        又到了弹奏莫扎特《D大调奏鸣曲作品K448第三乐章快板》的时候，这首双钢琴四手联弹叫我寝不安席，因为每次登台亮相总免不了出现失误，有失误必有遗憾，而每次失误偏偏各不相同，真令我啼笑皆非。虽说我刻意针对薄弱环节加强练习，可是按下葫芦浮起瓢，每当聚光灯亮起，这些跳梁小丑便粉墨登场，但愿本次表演神经别太紧张，免得在大庭广众面前难堪，希望如此。

        迄今为止，我俩唯一一次近乎完美的弹奏就是在老师举行的汇报演出上，可那算不上什么了不起。

        然而它确实表明，尽管成功的可能性微乎其微，但还是蛮有指望的。前面经历几次尝试均不理想，我和琴伴在台上各有疏漏，不过彼此相互扶持提携，毕竟谁都有犯错的时候。

        今天是咱哥俩大显身手的日子，我们要到“新泽西青少年钢琴家比赛”现场一展琴艺，参赛作品仅限于协奏曲、四手联弹与合奏，表情严肃的评委全部为清一色俄罗斯老师，其他所有选手演奏的旋律充满伤感抑郁宣泄的情绪，有点叫人捉摸不透；而我俩却呈上一首甜美绝妙的奏鸣曲，烘托出活泼欢快热烈的气氛。虽然表现风格截然不同，但并非等于我们没有胜算机会，况且今天充其量就是半决赛而已，想必音乐类型不能成为衡量演奏水平的标准，然而评委多多少少都会偏向自己钟爱的曲调，这对于音乐竞赛行业相当不幸。

        轮到我们上台的时候，我感觉异常紧张。走近钢琴，我暗暗提醒自己：“是高音E而非低音D”，这是开头第一个音符，千万不要……像上次那样。

        没错，演奏开始我还是慌了手脚，第一个音弹得倒没问题，接着……后面几个小节乱成一锅糨糊。坐在身旁的琴伴顿时如坠五里雾之中，我停下来重新再来，周围整个世界仿佛彻底崩溃了，但不知为什么，我反倒认定坏事变成好事，就在那一瞬间，我清楚地意识到即使下面再出纰漏也不会比现在这种场面更糟糕。思想放开了，我们超水平发挥，整套曲子从头到尾一气呵成。我明白一定要去掉禁锢，反正别无可失，何况本来就没啥值得顾虑的，听起来好像挺丧气的。