2017-08-17

【Aiden in English】

        I'm an American-Chinese, so instinctively have grown a tolerance to disgusting cheeses. I love it's greasy, unhealthy texture as you swallow, feeling the life ebb away with every bite. I swear, Americans are actually the dumbest creatures on earth. They ask themselves: why are we getting fat? Maybe they shouldn't ask that question around a Mcdonald's table munching on three Big Macs. But certainly, cheese is a large part of the issue. Perhaps instead of blaming it on the real cause, we all should simply point fingers elsewhere, to the Netherlands.

        Maybe Americans are growing wider because of the high quality and tastiness of the cheese produced in the Netherlands. Over many years, the Dutch have shipped out tons of beautiful cheeses produced in a caring and hard-working way that defies the American manufactured mush-mush. Cheesemaking has become an icon of its culture and heritage. Instead of sounding like a TV spokesperson, I just went to a family-run cheese farm in the rural Kinderdijk of the Netherlands, meeting a family that had run the same farm for six generations. Along the way, they somehow learned to speak wonderful English as well, which was a little help during the tour. And with all respect to the cheese community, I, personally after this trip, will not touch cheese for another month or so.

        The tour was split fifty-fifty between cheese and cows, both ingredients on an American burger. Although the cheese tour was the highlight of the essential tour, I enjoyed the second half thoroughly. Cheese wise, all my senses had a good time from sight to taste and touch, but the nose took a beating. From room to room, one daughter of the owner took us step by step through the process of making quality cheese, from separating the water to packaging. Each room brought something new, technology, and a new stack of cheeses. The shelves filled with cheese, the orange, red, black, green, and yellow colors looked almost artificial. Beginning to end, I felt uneasy and a bit unsteady. However, I managed to hold on to my potatoes from the morning. And I've seen more cheese than I've eaten in my life. It's actually scary that an average American could eat all the stacks on stacks of cheese in one lifetime.

        I felt really queasy, and therefore I didn't taste much cheese (only the expensive ones). However, even the slightest fat can churn into an uneasy digestive process. Especially when you spend the next hour next to the cows. Those cows, although smelling worse than the cheese, was kind of cute, except the one that drooled on me. I would think she was trying to kiss me. The owner of the farm described the life of the cows, as well as giving the regular lecture on how his cows were somehow more natural than the other farms. I don't need to hear it. Sometimes, just seeing cows grazing in fields is a good sign enough.

        I don't know which kind of cow I like better: the one that moos or the one in my stomach. Ouch, that felt mean. Regardless, today was about cheese, not the controversy over the lives of animals. Although we didn't buy any, a bit of the cheese will always remain ingrained in my mind, mainly because of the smell. Sooner or later, though, I'll have to 'moo've on.

【紅霞譯文】

我是美籍華裔，因此天生對刺激胃酸分泌的奶酪具有耐受力，本人喜歡質感油膩不益於健康的東西，而且越吃越來勁，我敢發誓美國佬肯定是世上最軸的生物，難怪他們嘀咕：為何我們發胖？或許他們不該坐在麥當勞店一邊嚼着三倍大小的巨無霸漢堡一邊提及那個問題，但奶酪畢竟是罪魁禍首，我們大可不必刨根問底，只要把矛頭對準其它地方──荷蘭，準保沒錯。

        正因為荷蘭生產質量優良品味上乘的奶酪，美國才有可能人丁興旺。多年來，荷蘭人輸出了大量精心製作的手工奶酪，結果讓口感平平的美國產品無地自容，奶酪生產已然成為荷蘭民族與文化遺產的象徵，不像電視台新聞報道，這回我親自去荷蘭孩童堤防郊外一家奶酪農場，零距離接觸這個經營已有六代歷史的家族企業。過去漫長歲月中，他們不知不覺地學會說一口流利的英語，對接待遊客有些幫助。在尊重奶酪行業的前提下，參觀完畢後未來一個月左右我個人將不再跟奶酪打交道。

        這次參觀內容奶酪與奶牛各半，兩者均為美式漢堡食材，雖然奶酪生產是此行重點項目，但我更喜歡後面第二部分。就奶酪而言，從觀摩到品嘗觸摸我一直覺得挺好玩，但鼻子負荷太重。農場主女兒帶我們挨個車間轉悠，自脫水分離至奶酪包裝一步一步講解製造優質奶酪工藝流程，每個車間無論在生產技術上還是奶酪品種上各有不同，貨架上擺滿了橘色、紅色、黑色、綠色和黃色產品，如同人工塗抹的顏料一般。我自始至終身體不適，感覺有點較勁，好在早飯下肚的土豆安然無恙，眼前我所看見的奶酪要比這輩子吃的多得多，平均每位美國人一生都能幹掉鋪天蓋地的奶酪實在太恐怖了。

        因為腸胃狀況欠佳，所以我沒嘗很多奶酪（僅有價格昂貴的）。然而，即使一丁點脂肪足以叫消化系統吃不了兜着走，特別當你在接下來個把鐘頭內還要跟奶牛打成一片，雖說這些傢伙比奶酪更難聞，但長相極其可愛，除了一隻直往我身上流哈喇子，大概牠想親吻我。這時農場主介紹起奶牛生活，順便講述他家奶牛比別家的更天然，我無需聽其原委，只要看到牛群遍野也就心滿意足。

        我不知道自己更喜歡哪種奶牛：愛叫喚的或供享用的。天哪，太過分了。不管怎樣，反正今天是沖奶酪來的而不是爭論動物生存問題。我們倒沒買回什麼東西，但由於氣味所致，小小奶酪將永遠銘刻在我的腦海里，只是過一會兒我要哞（驀）然離去。

Today in History(歷史上的今天):

Crosslinks(相關博文):

Netherlands(出遊荷蘭)

Europe(歐洲掠影)