Restlessly to the east, the Yangtze of torrents roars,
Seeing the historic heroes passing as it pours,
--- seeing 有新意，從另一個角度譯“淘”字

It is taken that located at the west of the fort
Is the Red cliff battle field , a famous resort,
--- 述景

Rugged peaks are pokingto thesky
Dashing waves are smashing high.
--- dash 用得給力！

The picturesque landscape is so beautiful
That it attracts so many heroic souls to devote their lives.
--- 好！感覺毛太祖的“江山如此多嬌，引無數英雄競折腰”源自此句！

Back to the era of the three kingdoms, Zhou Lang won his fame
The young general managed to bit the strong enemy in the game.
--- 個見，稍嫌贅。

He just married Miss Qiao, the famous beauty of the land
--- beauty of the land，好！

Wearing head scarf of the time and with a feather fan in hand.
--- 介個“綸巾”和譯起來很煩人哪，俺乾脆不譯。蘇軾這句就是為說明周公瑾乃儒將，其實有把扇子足可渲染這一點兒了。而蘇軾用“羽扇綸巾”是漢語習慣使然。哈哈

As he ordered to fight while talking and made others admire
Beating up the enemy's fleet to smokes and ashes on fire.
--- 感覺不如乾脆就是set the enemy's fleet on fire

You may laugh at me for my gray hair too early grown
Due to the personal sentimental characters of my own.
--- 好！押韻好，且極貼切！

I water the spirit to the moon shallowed in the water,
For human’s life is but a tour of a dreamer.
--- 別有新意，而不離開原作字義！好！

再贊賀蘭兄大作！