《涼州詞》唐 王之渙
黃河遠上白雲間，一片孤城萬仞山。羌笛何須怨楊柳，春風不度玉門關。

譯作一（豌博）
Masterpiece Poetry by Tang Dynasty Poet Wang Zhihuan
"The Outer Frontier: Lyrics of Liangzhou”

The Yellow River projects upward and afar in the midst of white clouds, 
a lone fortress lies in a mountain range of ten thousand feet in elevations. 
Don't blame the local Qiang flute is singing the aspen and willow blues,
as no spring wind blows pass the Jade-Entry Gate onto northern frontiers.

--- 大讚豌兄力作！信達雅三者皆看出構思的苦心。這首詩不好譯主要在其格調之雄渾，那種令人一誦，心胸頓闊，有思馬尋刀的衝動。豌兄譯作全篇流暢無滯，E文筆力俺不能及也。最喜這句

cuz spring winds never blow across Yumen Pass to the distal frontiers. 

說不出的荒遠感慨意味。再贊佳譯！

譯作二（職老）

the yellow river upto the-gaps-among white clouds
where dwell between mountains an isolated city
don't sad cowboy, nowhere of spring willow
the Jade Gate stops southern breezes

--- 小牧陋作，指點幾句：

黃河之上白雲間
the yellow river upto the-gaps-among white clouds
譯文雖允許貼切合理的再創作，可這句里的gaps是否多餘？是根據“白雲間”得來的，對不對？原詩中這三個字就是虛寫，那個“間”是不用翻譯出來的。另外“黃河”不會自己專找白雲的縫隙才“遠上”，要是沒縫隙涅？黃河就打住了是嗎？譯得太謬！

一片孤城萬仞山
where dwell between mountains an isolated city
dwell 是居住的意思，是有生命的才能做出來的行為：只能人居住在城裡，不是城居住在山裡。

羌笛何須怨楊柳
don't sad cowboy, nowhere of spring willow
羌笛譯作cowboy雖令人捧腹，但可接受。因為也許那笛子正是cowboy吹的，雖多少有抄襲“牧童橫坐黃牛背，短笛無腔信口吹”的嫌疑，卻別有詩意。

春風不度玉門關
the Jade Gate stops southern breezes
這句麼，不失大格，但 southern breeze 似不如 spring breeze 亮眼。為啥涅？原文中“春風”是對“楊柳”的呼應，是刻意強調出來以渲染此地的偏遠荒涼，所謂的“詩眼”是也。你卻非說 southern breeze 就是春風，那“東風”不是春風？

應該說全篇譯得不成功，唯有第三句cowboy意境頗具特點。

譯作三 跟着豌博，試譯王之渙的《涼州詞》（曹雪葵）

《The Lyrics of Liangzhou》

The Huanghe River originates itself through the white clouds,
From where the sky and the earth meet.
A lonely fortress that the sorrow fog shrouds, 
Surrounded by the mountains above ten thousand feet. 
In the flute of the native Qiang tribe,
lingers a tone,longing to see the willows.
They never know the desert is so wide,
That  the Yumen Pass beyond no spring wind blows.

--- 豌博評論：哈哈曹博自成一格，不拘文體，全然意譯，頗有逆襲王老的節奏
--- 雪葵答覆：俺自己都覺得對不住王老了。呵呵。