中文原文:《天淨沙·秋思》元 馬致遠
枯藤老樹昏鴉,
小橋流水人家,
古道西風瘦馬。
夕陽西下,
斷腸人在天涯。
元朝詩人馬致遠 《天淨沙·秋思》英譯 送交者: 豌博 2016年03月29日
Desolate Poetry by Yuan Dynasty Poet Ma Zhiyuan
"Pure Sands in the Sky Format: Autumn Mind"
(Depicts the plight and bleak circumstances suffered by the Han Chinese majority under the repressive nomad Mongol regime)
A dark crow on an aging tree encroached by dry vines,
water flows under a mini bridge by a family residence,
skinny horse on ancient road in frigid wind from west.
As the sun far in the west sets,
man at the distant verge of land and sky sick in the guts.
曹評:用筆精準是豌博的一貫特色!
試譯 《天淨沙·秋思》 元朝詩人馬致遠 送交者: 文思 2016年03月30日
Dusk shifts to dead vines and old trees,
Where crows are standing on in cries.
Nearby is a farmer village,
A creek crosses a small bridge.
A skinny horse in chilly wind
Limps on dark rough road.
The sun is set,
The poor rider is just
wandering to no end.
曹評: limp 很傳神,馬一瘸一拐地,馬鞍上一個憔悴的外鄉人... 主格調為淒涼即與原作構思意圖相符
也試英譯【天淨沙】秋思(馬致遠) 送交者: 於文子 2016年03月30日
Withered vines, fading trees and faint crows;
A tiny bridge, nice stream and cozy household;
Westerly winds, a thin horse, and the ancient road;
All are against a backdrop of the sunset.
On the horizon is the desperate man on trek.
曹評:譯作的畫面很傳神:作者在小橋流水處遙望夕照中地平線上,一個外鄉人正騎在一匹疲憊的馬上遠去