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早春里的小花 (匯報 - by 快活老人 5/4/2014)
送交者: 快活老人 2014年05月04日15:31:11 於 [詩詞歌賦] 發送悄悄話

早春里的小花 (匯報)

-- by 快活老人 (5/4/2014)

 俺快走之前,特向大家匯報一下以前拋磚兩句English的不同命運:


原磚:早春里的小花 (附有照片)-- by 快活老人

2014-04-15 14:56:44

 

 





 

 
















 


A little white flower
       is blooming in the chilly air
            like an angel singing the song of spring
.
Who has noticed
       a little black bug
            is also running its life
                   just in the heart of the pure beauty?
這詩壇上高手如林。如有哪位願幫忙把老朽這兩句English的意思變成一首中文小詩(新,舊體隨便),快活老人將不勝感激。

(註:西門冷雪俠很快就給出三首不同體裁中文詩詞:


早春里的小花:一詩三譯

2014-04-16 02:26:33        )

 

- See more at: http://bbs.creaders.net/poem/bbsviewer.php?trd_id=948244&blog_id=178916#sthash.Q8y1GQeg.dpuf

 

 

 

 

         (兩句English的命運1)




 




 






賀蘭山 2014月04月15日18:36:21 於 [詩詞歌賦] 

 


 

回  答: 早春里的小花(April 15, 2014)  

 

感覺先生讀的英語詩歌少。建議別費勁了。從韻律,格式等等多方面都還不夠。是明顯的從漢詩硬譯的。                                                                                                                  -                                                                                                            -- 賀蘭山

 

 

(兩句English的命運2)

 

From

"James A. Xxxx"  ⊕

To

Xxxxx ⊕

Subject

Re: FW: A question

Date

Fri, Apr 25, 2014 01:24 PM

 

Xxxxx,

Thank you for sending me your beautiful poem and photograph.

I am not a poet, so my suggestions should be taken as you see fit. 

Here would be my edit.

A little white flower
         blooming in the chilly air
                an angel singing the song of spring


Who has noticed
         a little black bug
               running its life
                      in the heart of the pure beauty?

 

I just took out a few words.  I think it is a beautiful poem.


Sincerely,
Jim

 

 

On 4/25/2014 9:25 AM,  Xxxxx wrote to an American colleague who teaches English Writing:

 

Hi Jim,

Attached is a photo I took with my feelings in two sentences.
I just wonder if you could find time to help rewrite it as a little poem:-).

Maybe this does not worth anything, then please forget it.
Thanks anyway.

Best wishes,
Xxxxx

 

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