亞哈隨魯王
瓦實提王后
哈大沙（後名以斯帖）

It seems you did not understand the relationship among the three,

亞哈隨魯王 as a king, he could do whatever he wished, no matter good or bad,
showing his queen's beauty to many people WAS one of silliest things he required,
I guess it was resulted from the side effect of too much alcohol, anyway,
in fact, he created a PUZZLE for everybody including himself,
on one hand king's command must be executed,
on the other hand woman's beauty must not be showed,

瓦實提王后
as a queen, she must do what king told her to do,
however,
as a woman, she must not show her beauty to anybody,
obviously,
she CHOSE to honor her DIGNITY by sacrificing her nobility,

以斯帖
as a young beauty, she did what she was told to do,
nothing more and nothing less.

The book of Esther has nothing to do with
teaching the principles of marriage, instead,
through studying this book, we can be sure
that GOD is in control and everything happens
for His glory and for His people's salvation.

After fallen, human beings lost free-will
(Zi4 You2 Yi4 Zhi4) because of losing freedom
in God, at the same time, they got their-own-will
( You2 Zi4 Yi4 Zhi4) inspired by Satan.
This reality reflected in
every areas including marriage. Although you can always dream
that your parents' happy marriage are resulted from
'unconditional love between them', your broken marriage
are resulted from a bad person you met. The matter of fact is
THERE IS NO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE among human beings
except Jesus' love. To deal with the less than perfect situation
REQUIRED to face the reality, this is why we need Matt. 7:12.
Please stop self-pity, please stop hate to your husband,
please stop self-boasting when you can rise a child with good score at school,
please embrace God's rule (a sealed deal no matter what, compromising on
daily basis and forgiveness when being offended)
in case you plan to re-marry and you have no difficulty to have a happy
marriage with your dignity and ability. May God bless you richly and
you deserve more, at least, a happy marriage! May a decent man with all good
characteristics as our dear brother Luo Qi appear in front of your sight.

By the way, Bible stories are Bible stories, they act as MEDIA,
through the Bible stories, God reveal His ABSOLUTE truth,
however, you can NEVER use Bible stories as ABSOLUTE truth directly,
for example, King Solomon got 1,000 wives, you can never
believe that God are happy to let any king have a few hundreds of wives,
Isrealites needed to abandon their pagan wives by obeying
their leader's command, you can never REASON it as God OKAYED
divorce because God did not okay those marriages.

Again, as human beings, we have no clue HOW God RUN the world
on daily basis or case by case, we only know even our hairs are counted by Him,
as such, we logically reason that He is very active in human beings'
daily life, what we have now is our-own-will, as a saved person,
we have privilege to have SAVED WISDOM too.

Again, predestination can help us understand why there are a few people to
be save by God's grace through faith although everybody acts as God's enemy,
it never intends to lead you to misunderstand the redemptive salvation
by reasoning there is a possibility people can be saved by his free will,
which human beings no longer have after fallen and before re-birth by the
Holy Spirit.