我要向山舉目

作者：Hesed

2004年2月1日 於[彩虹之約論壇]

“ 我要向山舉目。我的幫助從何而來。我的幫助從造天地的耶和華而來。” 詩篇121:1-2

"I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From whence shall my help come? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2

那原是一般旅客只需6個小時就能完成的路程。但在異域的草木中經過步履蹣跚的12小時後，我竟饑寒交迫地佇立在原本應是很浪漫的東非星空下，而一股彷徨無措的感覺不由自主地從心底升起。在抵達終點－那使我能得安息的地方－之前卻還得攀上一道45度的斜坡。我想在搬運工人眼中的應是一具脆弱的軀體，而這軀體中經已不存絲毫精力。嚮導與搬運工人從沒有在漆黑的情況下走過這段路。本來在這時刻，他們應是在圍爐夜話，喝着他們的肯雅茶。

It was a journey that usually required 6 hours for the average travelers. I found myself disoriented, cold and hungry, under the otherwise romantic night sky of East Africa, after 12 hours of stumbling along the alien vegetation. It had to be another 45 degree sharp ascent before I could hit my destination, the place where I could find my rest. I could muster no strength in what must have been a frail frame in the eyes of my porters and guide. The porters and guide never before attempted this phase of the journey in almost pitch dark conditions. They should have been sitting around a stove and sipping their Kenyan tea by then.

當我疲憊地挨在那崎嶇上行山道旁的硬石上時，“我會在此死去嗎？這地方夜裡會有危險的動物徘徊嗎？”等一連串問題正添加着那無助的感覺。我僱傭的兩個搬運工人嘗試協助我，半提半拖地扶着我走。然而普頓營地仍如在永恆之外。奇怪的，“父阿，我將我的靈魂交在你手裡。”是我所唯一能記起的經節。然後永恆就來臨了... 如果史普頓營地真要是天堂的話。

"Would I die here? Will there be dangerous animals that roam this area at night?" were questions that added to the sense of helplessness as I laid my weary back against the hard rock by the crooked, upward leading foot path. My 2 porters tried to help me along, half carrying and half dragging. Shipton Camp still seemed to be an eternity away. "Into your hands, I lay my spirit" strangely was the only verse that came to mind. And then eternity came... if only Shipton was heaven.

體能準備不足加上不適應高原氣候不但剝奪了我首次攀爬4000米高峰的欣榮，也差點使我魂斷異鄉。我過後才了解當真曾有野心超逾本身能力的攀山者死於體溫過低。

Inadequate physical preparation and poor acclimatization not only denied me the joy of conquering my first four-thousander (mountains above 4,000m), they almost claimed my life. I understood later that there were indeed trekkers, whose ambition exceeded their capacity, which died of hypothermia.

從此，詩篇121:1-2 就在我生命中有了嶄新的個人意義。每次當我看到山峰的圖象，我就憶起那除造天地的 耶和華之外，還能有誰的境況。

Since then Psalm 121:1-2 took on a new and personal meaning for me. Whenever I look at any pictures of mountains, I will remember the occasion when no human beings mattered except the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

我想基督徒的生活對我來說也同樣布滿危機，獨自一人是無法完成前頭的路程的。單是透徹了解上帝的法規不足以達到神崇高的道德標準，唯有靈里的修養可行。當沒人喝采時，要孜孜不倦。當獎賞遙不可及時，仍堅持到底。當嘲聲四起時，得百折不撓。還須抵抗掏錢袋中飽私囊的誘惑和不憑一吻將我的主賣與敵人。除對主的信心之外，我毫無自信。除對主的愛心之外，我毫無動機。想是因此主在十誡上又添加了一道新的命令：“我賜給你們一條新命令，乃是叫你們彼此相愛。我怎樣愛你們，你們要怎樣相愛。”(約翰福音13:34)。當他的法則有如戒令加注在我身上時，他的生命進入我的生命，以聖靈的感動給予我持守那戒令的力量。唯有如此，他的軛才能夠容易。

I suppose Christian life can be as treacherous for me and there is no way I could last the race on my own. The high altitude of moral standards would require a character rather than a mere comprehension of the code. Sticking to it when no one cheers, insisting on it when there is no imminent reward, picking myself up despite the jeers, resisting the temptation to take from the money bag and not kissing my Lord over to His enemy. I have no confidence apart from faith in the Lord. I have no motivation apart from love for the Lord. Think that was why the Lord added a new command to the Ten Commandments. "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you..." (John 13:34; emphasis mine). While His law lays upon me an injunction, His life entering into my life inpires me to live up to that injunction. Only then, could His yoke be easy.

“我愛禰主。誠心所願。”

"I love You, Lord. Amen."