出國前，認識一位在瑞士銀行工作的“成功人士”，對我語重心長的臨別囑咐是，出門在外，牢記寧給他人錢不要借錢給人的智慧，他強調這可是成功猶太人的智慧哦。


剛來美國，過去鄰居家認識的姐姐以前輩身份告誡我，她在美國借給人錢N多筆，沒人還過她，切記切記。


他們都不是主內的，等我信主後，能第一次理論用於實踐的時候，是在一位教會的姐妹身上。


她那時年輕沒孩子，剛離婚，經濟上很窘困，滿腦子想上神學院，不太想找工作。我那時是窮學生一枚，銀行存款一共3千左右， 我們當時關係不錯，一個教會的，常有信仰上的探討。某天她來找我，想借錢買機票回國探母，借800美元，說她母親非常有錢，只要回到國內，家人會立即給她一大筆錢帶回美國。


我想起了那條原則，禱告後，決定給她350美元，當她一路的零花錢，不用她還錢。她堅決承諾回來後一定還給我。


最後在教會的弟兄姐妹中七借八借，最後湊了快2500美元回國。


一個月後她回來了，說她國內家道沒落，早已沒錢。借的錢已經花光，沒錢還給大家，很抱歉。


對我而言，因為沒有期待所以也沒有失望。


第二次運用這個原則是因為我家弟兄的朋友，也是主內弟兄姐妹要借錢開餐館，承諾半年之內一定還。當時我家中存款6000美元左右，開餐館想借5000美元，這是不可能的。我家弟兄說那就借給他3000美元渡過燃眉之急，反正半年內他承諾一定還。我的意思是，如果這個錢借了出去，就請不要有期待，就當給了，千萬別指望還錢。我家弟兄不信，因為開餐館的弟兄一直信譽很好啊。在我的思想工作下，最後借出2000美元，我和我家弟兄打賭，這筆錢就當給了他。

事情結果是，開餐館失敗，兩年後他還了500美元，從此再無音信。


大概有了充分的心理準備，所以沒有什麼失望，也從來沒有找他去要。


我個人覺得這條原則真的很實用，而且減少很多麻煩。


至於這是不是猶太人的智慧，我在網上查了一下，搜到了一篇文章，從猶太人的角度，看待朋友之間的借錢，寫得很不錯，

http://www.aish.com/ci/be/48882997.html

所以發給大家看看。


過去的事已經過去，重要的是展望未來。：-）） 

Q. I gave an informal loan to a very trustworthy individual. Now he is making all kinds of excuses to avoid paying me back. I''m stuck in a cycle of frustration, resentment, and financial strain. What went wrong?

A. It''s a bit unconventional to engage in Talmudic dialectics comparing the Torah to Shakespeare, yet there is something important to be learned comparing Divine wisdom with folk wisdom.

The Torah tells us that lending money to others in need is a vital obligation. It sternly warns us not to refrain from lending even if the approaching Sabbatical year, with its release of debts, brings an increased danger of default: "Let there not be a despicable idea in your heart, saying, ''the Sabbatical year is approaching'', leading you to be stingy towards your needy brother" (Deuteronomy 15:9).

Our Sages tell us that the commandment of lending money is even greater than that of giving charity. (1) A loan preserves the dignity of the recipient and constitutes a vote of confidence that the lender has faith in his ability to be self-sufficient.

How does this square with the undeniable folk wisdom of Polonius, who advised, "Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for loan oft loses both itself and friend"?

The answer is that along with the commandment to lend, the Torah provides a framework for keeping this important mitzvah from becoming an obstacle to harmonious relations.

One part of this framework is the commandment on the borrower to pay back the loan, which we discussed in a previous column. [See: "Borrow Sorrow"]. This stern religious obligation on the borrower helps motivate him to repay the loan promptly, and to refrain from borrowing when he foresees that he would be unable to repay. The Shulchan Arukh, which is the authoritative code of Jewish law, states: "It is forbidden for the borrower to take the loan and spend excessively and have it go to loss, so that the lender is left without any way of collecting." (2)

But another, equally important factor is the strict accountability Jewish law imposes on the borrowing process. According to our tradition, "informal" loans are improper and in fact impermissible. The Shulchan Arukh states that it is forbidden to give a loan relying solely on the goodwill of the borrower. It is necessary to have either witnesses, a valid note, or some kind of surety. (3) The reason is that giving a loan with no accountability creates an excessive, almost unfair temptation on the borrower to delay and deny. This requirement explicitly applies even to a borrower who is renowned for his integrity, including a Torah scholar.

Another aspect of this accountability is that despite the great importance of the commandment to lend, we are not obligated to give a loan to someone who we consider likely to use the money irresponsibly. Indeed, the Shulchan Arukh tells us that it is better not to lend money to such an individual. (4) This is precisely the loan that loses both itself and friend.

The Torah tells us that its commandments "are not in the sky, that you should say, ''Who will ascend to the heavens and take it for us, and we will listen and perform" (Deuteronomy 30:12). Obligations that seem difficult to perform, like making helpful loans, are part of a package deal with a cohesive social and legal framework to make our charitable obligations bearable and even enjoyable. This includes carrying out our economic transactions with the greatest possible degree of transparency and accountability.

Of course there is nothing wrong with giving a loan without evidence if you explicitly allow the borrower to repay whenever he feels able. In that case, you could not bring him to court in any case. Since the loan is never due, the borrower has no reason to deny it. But if you, the lender, consider this a serious loan, then you should insist on the appropriate trappings of formality to make sure that the borrower understands your expectations and that you have the ability to enforce your legitimate rights.

The Midrash describes for us the origin of God''s blueprint for the world as follows:

The Holy One blessed be He said: If I create the world based solely on [Divine] mercy, sin will multiply [because the temptation to sin is too great if there are no sanctions]. If based solely on stern [Divine] judgment, how could the world survive? [Human nature is weak and there is a need for mercy and forbearance.] Rather, I will create it with judgment and mercy, and then it has a chance to survive. (5)

Likewise, our economic transactions are effective when they have the appropriate mix of mercy and judgment. Lending money is an important expression of mercy and loving kindness, but in order to be a constructive and sustainable source of mutual aid it requires the backing of accountability and judgment.

---

SOURCES: 
(1) CM 97:1 
(2) CM 97:4 
(3)CM 70:1 
(4) CM 97:4. 
(5) Bereshit Rabba on Genesis 2:4.

Send your queries about ethics in the workplace to jewishethicist@aish.com

The Jewish Ethicist presents some general principles of Jewish law. For specific questions and direct application, please consult a qualified Rabbi.

The Jewish Ethicist is a joint project of Aish.com and the Business Ethics Center of Jerusalem. To find out more about business ethics and Jewish values for the workplace, visit the JCT Center for Business Ethics website atwww.besr.org.

==================================

"照他所缺乏的借給他"
送交者: j9 2012月11月19日18:22:01 於 [彩虹之約] 發送悄悄話
回  答:四季樹 ：只給不借的由來和猶太人的智慧 由 四季樹 於2012-11-19 17:15:02
感謝神，這兩天連着被天人、借錢給一基督徒的和你三位樂善好施的姐妹教育。


 


不過猶太人的智慧...


如果給錢的一部分原因是比借錢數量少，省事，就不biblical了。少給點錢取代多借點錢不是個正確的原則。因為絕對數量的多少不是神的標準。神的標準是need(借/要錢的人）, ability（給/借的人）,heart (雙方）. 


 


你舉的兩個例子，Need都不存在。回國的人應該自己工作掙錢或向國內的闊親戚要。做買賣的更不符合神的need要求了。Ability, 第一個例子，你無論給或借的ability都是$350。再多你就要掛心了。因為超過了神給你的ability。heart, 為你感謝神！為占弟兄姐妹便宜的!@#$%^


 


還是更同意你這段："如果這個錢借了出去，就請不要有期待，就當給了，千萬別指望還錢。“ 窮人和真有生活需要的，而且要儘量地借給他/她。”總要向他鬆開手，照他所缺乏的借給他，補他的不足。“（申18：5） （這段經文不適用於借錢給朋友經商)


 


 
===========================================

標準是：只要有衣有食、就當知足
送交者: 雅1 2012月11月19日18:58:08 於 [彩虹之約] 發送悄悄話
回  答:你的point很好 由 四季樹 於2012-11-19 18:38:27
 


對無論生人還是親友幫助的標準就是不能讓人家饑寒交迫, the rest wont benefit their soul。
6:7 因為我們沒有帶甚麼到世上來、也不能帶甚麼去． 
6:8 只要有衣有食、就當知足。 
6:9 但那些想要發財的人、就陷在迷惑、落在網羅、和許多無知有害的私慾里、叫人沉在敗壞和滅亡中。 
6:10 貪財是萬惡之根．有人貪戀錢財、就被引誘離了真道、用許多愁苦把自己刺透了。