出国前，认识一位在瑞士银行工作的“成功人士”，对我语重心长的临别嘱咐是，出门在外，牢记宁给他人钱不要借钱给人的智慧，他强调这可是成功犹太人的智慧哦。


刚来美国，过去邻居家认识的姐姐以前辈身份告诫我，她在美国借给人钱N多笔，没人还过她，切记切记。


他们都不是主内的，等我信主后，能第一次理论用于实践的时候，是在一位教会的姐妹身上。


她那时年轻没孩子，刚离婚，经济上很窘困，满脑子想上神学院，不太想找工作。我那时是穷学生一枚，银行存款一共3千左右， 我们当时关系不错，一个教会的，常有信仰上的探讨。某天她来找我，想借钱买机票回国探母，借800美元，说她母亲非常有钱，只要回到国内，家人会立即给她一大笔钱带回美国。


我想起了那条原则，祷告后，决定给她350美元，当她一路的零花钱，不用她还钱。她坚决承诺回来后一定还给我。


最后在教会的弟兄姐妹中七借八借，最后凑了快2500美元回国。


一个月后她回来了，说她国内家道没落，早已没钱。借的钱已经花光，没钱还给大家，很抱歉。


对我而言，因为没有期待所以也没有失望。


第二次运用这个原则是因为我家弟兄的朋友，也是主内弟兄姐妹要借钱开餐馆，承诺半年之内一定还。当时我家中存款6000美元左右，开餐馆想借5000美元，这是不可能的。我家弟兄说那就借给他3000美元渡过燃眉之急，反正半年内他承诺一定还。我的意思是，如果这个钱借了出去，就请不要有期待，就当给了，千万别指望还钱。我家弟兄不信，因为开餐馆的弟兄一直信誉很好啊。在我的思想工作下，最后借出2000美元，我和我家弟兄打赌，这笔钱就当给了他。

事情结果是，开餐馆失败，两年后他还了500美元，从此再无音信。


大概有了充分的心理准备，所以没有什么失望，也从来没有找他去要。


我个人觉得这条原则真的很实用，而且减少很多麻烦。


至于这是不是犹太人的智慧，我在网上查了一下，搜到了一篇文章，从犹太人的角度，看待朋友之间的借钱，写得很不错，

http://www.aish.com/ci/be/48882997.html

所以发给大家看看。


过去的事已经过去，重要的是展望未来。：-）） 

Q. I gave an informal loan to a very trustworthy individual. Now he is making all kinds of excuses to avoid paying me back. I''m stuck in a cycle of frustration, resentment, and financial strain. What went wrong?

A. It''s a bit unconventional to engage in Talmudic dialectics comparing the Torah to Shakespeare, yet there is something important to be learned comparing Divine wisdom with folk wisdom.

The Torah tells us that lending money to others in need is a vital obligation. It sternly warns us not to refrain from lending even if the approaching Sabbatical year, with its release of debts, brings an increased danger of default: "Let there not be a despicable idea in your heart, saying, ''the Sabbatical year is approaching'', leading you to be stingy towards your needy brother" (Deuteronomy 15:9).

Our Sages tell us that the commandment of lending money is even greater than that of giving charity. (1) A loan preserves the dignity of the recipient and constitutes a vote of confidence that the lender has faith in his ability to be self-sufficient.

How does this square with the undeniable folk wisdom of Polonius, who advised, "Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for loan oft loses both itself and friend"?

The answer is that along with the commandment to lend, the Torah provides a framework for keeping this important mitzvah from becoming an obstacle to harmonious relations.

One part of this framework is the commandment on the borrower to pay back the loan, which we discussed in a previous column. [See: "Borrow Sorrow"]. This stern religious obligation on the borrower helps motivate him to repay the loan promptly, and to refrain from borrowing when he foresees that he would be unable to repay. The Shulchan Arukh, which is the authoritative code of Jewish law, states: "It is forbidden for the borrower to take the loan and spend excessively and have it go to loss, so that the lender is left without any way of collecting." (2)

But another, equally important factor is the strict accountability Jewish law imposes on the borrowing process. According to our tradition, "informal" loans are improper and in fact impermissible. The Shulchan Arukh states that it is forbidden to give a loan relying solely on the goodwill of the borrower. It is necessary to have either witnesses, a valid note, or some kind of surety. (3) The reason is that giving a loan with no accountability creates an excessive, almost unfair temptation on the borrower to delay and deny. This requirement explicitly applies even to a borrower who is renowned for his integrity, including a Torah scholar.

Another aspect of this accountability is that despite the great importance of the commandment to lend, we are not obligated to give a loan to someone who we consider likely to use the money irresponsibly. Indeed, the Shulchan Arukh tells us that it is better not to lend money to such an individual. (4) This is precisely the loan that loses both itself and friend.

The Torah tells us that its commandments "are not in the sky, that you should say, ''Who will ascend to the heavens and take it for us, and we will listen and perform" (Deuteronomy 30:12). Obligations that seem difficult to perform, like making helpful loans, are part of a package deal with a cohesive social and legal framework to make our charitable obligations bearable and even enjoyable. This includes carrying out our economic transactions with the greatest possible degree of transparency and accountability.

Of course there is nothing wrong with giving a loan without evidence if you explicitly allow the borrower to repay whenever he feels able. In that case, you could not bring him to court in any case. Since the loan is never due, the borrower has no reason to deny it. But if you, the lender, consider this a serious loan, then you should insist on the appropriate trappings of formality to make sure that the borrower understands your expectations and that you have the ability to enforce your legitimate rights.

The Midrash describes for us the origin of God''s blueprint for the world as follows:

The Holy One blessed be He said: If I create the world based solely on [Divine] mercy, sin will multiply [because the temptation to sin is too great if there are no sanctions]. If based solely on stern [Divine] judgment, how could the world survive? [Human nature is weak and there is a need for mercy and forbearance.] Rather, I will create it with judgment and mercy, and then it has a chance to survive. (5)

Likewise, our economic transactions are effective when they have the appropriate mix of mercy and judgment. Lending money is an important expression of mercy and loving kindness, but in order to be a constructive and sustainable source of mutual aid it requires the backing of accountability and judgment.

---

SOURCES: 
(1) CM 97:1 
(2) CM 97:4 
(3)CM 70:1 
(4) CM 97:4. 
(5) Bereshit Rabba on Genesis 2:4.

Send your queries about ethics in the workplace to jewishethicist@aish.com

The Jewish Ethicist presents some general principles of Jewish law. For specific questions and direct application, please consult a qualified Rabbi.

The Jewish Ethicist is a joint project of Aish.com and the Business Ethics Center of Jerusalem. To find out more about business ethics and Jewish values for the workplace, visit the JCT Center for Business Ethics website atwww.besr.org.

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"照他所缺乏的借给他"
送交者: j9 2012月11月19日18:22:01 于 [彩虹之约] 发送悄悄话
回  答:四季树 ：只给不借的由来和犹太人的智慧 由 四季树 于2012-11-19 17:15:02
感谢神，这两天连着被天人、借钱给一基督徒的和你三位乐善好施的姐妹教育。


 


不过犹太人的智慧...


如果给钱的一部分原因是比借钱数量少，省事，就不biblical了。少给点钱取代多借点钱不是个正确的原则。因为绝对数量的多少不是神的标准。神的标准是need(借/要钱的人）, ability（给/借的人）,heart (双方）. 


 


你举的两个例子，Need都不存在。回国的人应该自己工作挣钱或向国内的阔亲戚要。做买卖的更不符合神的need要求了。Ability, 第一个例子，你无论给或借的ability都是$350。再多你就要挂心了。因为超过了神给你的ability。heart, 为你感谢神！为占弟兄姐妹便宜的!@#$%^


 


还是更同意你这段："如果这个钱借了出去，就请不要有期待，就当给了，千万别指望还钱。“ 穷人和真有生活需要的，而且要尽量地借给他/她。”总要向他松开手，照他所缺乏的借给他，补他的不足。“（申18：5） （这段经文不适用于借钱给朋友经商)


 


 
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标准是：只要有衣有食、就当知足
送交者: 雅1 2012月11月19日18:58:08 于 [彩虹之约] 发送悄悄话
回  答:你的point很好 由 四季树 于2012-11-19 18:38:27
 


对无论生人还是亲友帮助的标准就是不能让人家饥寒交迫, the rest wont benefit their soul。
6:7 因为我们没有带甚么到世上来、也不能带甚么去． 
6:8 只要有衣有食、就当知足。 
6:9 但那些想要发财的人、就陷在迷惑、落在网罗、和许多无知有害的私欲里、叫人沉在败坏和灭亡中。 
6:10 贪财是万恶之根．有人贪恋钱财、就被引诱离了真道、用许多愁苦把自己刺透了。