一天娥黃和女嬰各自帶着丈夫和孩子坐船到江北小龍女（即夏娃，織女，舜王，嫘祖）家做客。這時小龍女和牛郎已經有了兩個私生子，塵香，塵凡。他們進入客廳後，很快女嬰的丈夫男嬰就出來到了廚房，問牛郎：“怎麼牛哥你自己做飯呢？傭人呢？”

牛郎回答：“在這個家，我是傭人。”

One day, Beauty Yellow and Heroine each brought their husbands and children by boat to visit the Little Dragoness (aka. Eve, Weaving Girl, Shun King, Lei Ancestor) in Yangzi River north. At this time, Little Dragoness and Cowboy already had two illegitimate children, Dust Scent and Dust Mortal. After entering the living room, Heroine's husband, Hero, soon came out to the kitchen and asked Cowboy, “How come you're cooking by yourself, Brother Cow? Where's the servant?”

Cowboy replied, “In this household, I am the servant.”

隨後，娥黃的丈夫博士也來到了廚房，幫助牛郎做飯。男嬰問博士：“你在家也做飯嗎？”

博士回答：“是的，我在家也做飯。我和鵝黃剛結婚的時候，她說我們倆一起做飯，培養夫妻感情，結果我就被她培養成了家裡的廚師了。”

男嬰醒悟了，說：“我才明白為什么女嬰總是誇我做的菜好吃。這三個母老虎，咱的想辦法整整她們。”

Then, Beauty Yellow's husband, Doctor, also came to the kitchen to help Cowboy cook. Hero asked the Doctor, "Do you cook at home too?"

Doctor replied, "Yes, I cook at home too. When Beauty Yellow and I first got married, she said we should cook together to cultivate our relationship, and as a result, she cultivated me into the family chef."

Hero suddenly realized and said, "Now I understand why Heroine always praises my cooking. These three tigresses, we need to find a way to deal with them."

2

不久後，男嬰想起了女嬰怕老鼠（參見3.1.15 《女人怕老鼠》）就問牛郎：“牛哥，你家有老鼠嗎？”

牛郎回答：“屋裡沒有，後山西北角有幾個田鼠洞。”

博士表示反對用田鼠嚇唬女英，說：“田鼠被逼急了，也會咬人的！”

男嬰回答：“馴服了，就不咬人了！” 博士就跟着男嬰去學習如何馴服田鼠了。

Soon after, Hero remembered that Heroine was afraid of mice (see 3.1.15 Women are Afraid of Mice) and asked Cowboy, “Brother Cow, do you have mice in your house?”

Cowboy replied, “Not inside, but there are a few mouse holes in the northwest corner of the west hill.”

Doctor objected to using mice to frighten Heroine, saying, “When cornered, mice will bite too!”

Hero replied, “Once they're tamed, they won't bite anymore!” So, Doctor followed Hero to learn how to tame field mice.

不久後，男嬰和博士高興地帶着田鼠回來了。他們三人計劃好後進入了客廳，牛郎拿出了另一種茶葉，博士給茶壺添熱水。忽然聽見男嬰大叫。原來男嬰放到女嬰身上一隻田鼠後，裝作去抓地上的另一隻田鼠，卻發現女嬰叼着她身上的田鼠，還要搶男嬰手裡的田鼠。男嬰慌忙地搶她嘴叼着的田鼠；女嬰不放口。

Soon after, Hero and Doctor happily returned with the field mice. After making their plans, the three entered the living room. Cowboy took out another type of tea leaves, and Doctor refilled the teapot with hot water. Suddenly, Hero let out a cry. It turned out that after placing one field mice on Heroine, he pretended to grab other mice on the floor. Instead, he found Heroine clutching the mice on her body and trying to snatch the one in his hand. Hero frantically tried to take the mouse from her mouth, but she refused to let go.

娥黃趕了過來，大叫：“不要嚇唬男嬰！” 小龍女說：“貓怕風，我吹她的耳朵！” 男嬰也跟着吹女嬰的另一隻耳朵。

這三個男人回到廚房後，博士認為：“我們的秘密計劃被她們發現了，她們已經設計好了反制措施！下次，我們得注意保密！”

Beauty Yellow rushed over, shouting, “Don't scare Hero!” Little Dragoness said, “Cats are afraid of wind—I'm blowing in her ear!” Hero followed suit, blowing into Heroine's other ear.

After the three men returned to the kitchen, Doctor concluded, "They've discovered our secret plan, and they've already devised a countermeasure! Next time, we need to be more careful about secrecy!"

3

忽然博士和男嬰來找牛郎，說：“孩子們在湖邊玩泥巴，由傭人照看着；三個女人不見了！”

牛郎回答：“她們在山腰的竹林里休息！”他轉臉問博士：“娥黃最怕什麼？”

博士回答：“娥黃怕狗，但你家沒狗哇！”

Suddenly, Doctor and Heroine came to find Cowboy, saying, “The children are playing in the mud by the lake, watched over by the servants; but the three women are gone!”

Cowboy replied, “They're resting in the bamboo grove halfway up the mountain!” He turned to ask Doctor, “What does Beauty Yellow fear most?”

Doctor answered, “Beauty Yellow fears dogs, but you don't have any dogs at home!”

牛郎回答：“我來當狗，去嚇唬她們！這次可不能讓她們事先察覺到！你們倆先別去，聽到狗叫在跑過去！”

他們三個來到了後山腰的竹林，那三個女人果然在竹林里休息。牛郎穿上蓑衣帶着斗笠爬到了娥黃睡的竹床附近。

竹林里忽然傳出了狗叫聲和娥黃的尖叫聲。博士和女嬰跑進了竹林，看見娥黃坐在一張竹床上上下大幅度地顛簸着。他們倆還在琢磨娥黃是怎樣讓床上下地顛的。

Cowboy replied, “I'll be the dog and scare them! This time, they mustn't sense us beforehand! You two stay put for now—only run over when you hear the dog barking!”

The three of them arrived at the bamboo grove halfway up the mountain, where the three women were indeed resting. Cowboy, wearing a straw raincoat and hat, climbed to the vicinity of the bamboo bed where Beauty Yellow was sleeping.

Suddenly, the sounds of dogs barking and Beauty Yellow screaming echoed from the bamboo grove. Doctor and Heroine ran into the grove and saw Beauty Yellow sitting on a bamboo bed, bouncing violently up and down. They were still wondering how Beauty Yellow had managed to make the bed bounce so much.

娥黃說：“看什麼？這床自己就動起來了，我不知道如何讓它停下來。趕快幫我下床，我都暈了。”

博士和男嬰才明白過來：原來是這床的機械出故障了！兩人趕忙到床的兩邊找開關。女嬰怕博士出醜，就跑了過來，把娥黃抱下了床。

Beauty Yellow said, "What are you looking at? This bed started moving by itself, and I don't know how to stop it. Quickly help me get off the bed; I'm dizzy."

Doctor and Hero then realized: the bed's mechanism had malfunctioned! They hurriedly searched for the switch on either side of the bed. Heroine, afraid of embarrassing Doctor, ran over and lifted Beauty Yellow off the bed.

4

博士和男嬰沒能分析出這張蹦蹦床的機械原理，就問去脫蓑衣返回來的牛郎。牛郎就講述了這張床的來歷。武漢軍區博物館的朋友聽說我要給孩子造搖籃，就告訴我他們的博物館裡有一件奇怪的寶床，是太乙真人為女媧劇組造的。

Doctor and Hero failed to decipher the mechanical principles of this bouncing bed, so they asked the Cowboy who had just returned from removing his straw cloak. Cowboy then recounted the bed's origins. Friends at the Wuhan Military Region Museum, upon hearing I intended to build a cradle for my child, informed me their museum housed a peculiar treasure bed—crafted by Taiyi Real Man for Nuwa’s Troupe.

牛郎說：“軍區博物館的朋友說，太乙真人造出這張床後沒說是幹什麼用的，只說二郎神知道。太乙真人離開後，我們典兵整理他的遺物時又發現了這張床，就去問二郎神。二郎神請堯皇幫忙，他們倆為我們表演這張床的功能（參見2.2.3 《自由戀愛》）。後來去典兵部的人看見了這張床，都要躺在上面試一試它的彈力。我們怕這張床被用壞了，就讓人仿造了一張放在了典兵部，把這張由太乙真人造的原件送到了軍區博物館保存。”

Cowboy said, "Our friends at the military museum said that after Taiyi Real Man made this bed, he didn't say what it was for, only that Second Wolf God. After Taiyi Real Man left, we soldiers found this bed again when we were sorting through his belongings, so we asked Second Wolf God. Second Wolf God asked White-king Yao for help, and the two of them demonstrated the function of this bed for us (see 2.2.3 Naturally Falling in Love). Later, when people went to the Ministry of Codex Soldier saw this bed, they all wanted to lie on it and test its elasticity. We were afraid that this bed would be damaged, so we had someone make a replica and put it in the Ministry of Codex Soldier, and sent the original made by Taiyi Real Man to the military museum for preservation."

牛郎繼續說：“他們都沒分析出這張床的工作原理，我也沒分析出來。我就只是仿造了一張給孩子們玩。造這床的竹竿可貴了，十文錢一根。”

男嬰說：“十文錢一根，不是很貴！”

Cowboy continued, "None of them figured out how this bed works, and neither did I. I just made a replica for the children to play with. The bamboo poles used to make this bed are expensive, ten coins each."

Hero said, "Ten coins each, not expensive at all!"

牛郎說：“十文錢一根很貴呀！我小時候有兩年時間夢想着能擁有一根這樣的竹竿，最終沒能實現。這竹竿有三個優點和一賭（參見3.1.10 《心賬竹竿》）！”

娥黃插嘴道：“賭！太好了，上次我賭這竹竿折不斷，從女嬰那裡贏了300兩銀子！”

Cowboy said, "Ten coins a piece is very expensive! When I was a child, I dreamed of owning a bamboo pole like this for two years, but I never got the chance. This bamboo pole has three advantages and one bet (see 3.1.10 ‘Heart-Account Bamboo Pole’)!"

Beauty Yellow interjected, "A bet! That's great! Last time I bet this bamboo pole wouldn't break, and I won 300 taels of silver from Heroine!"

返回堯皇的目錄 Return Catalog of Yao White-king