汽油站前的一幕
(豆粘儿的又一件(米臭)事)
An Incident at a Gas Station
(Tou Tou’s Moment of Embarrassment)

我的朋友都知道我买汽油只买最便宜的，比如SAFEWAY或ARCO那种可能连政府标准都达不到的。就是说为了省钱我给我的车喂垃圾吃。只有在偶尔我想宠一下我的车时，我就会买SHELL的汽油，而且还能拿减价洗车服务。

一星期前我要开长途车。上路前我在一家SHELL汽油战前停下来，给我的车买好汽油加洗车的双优对待。我甚至还多付了$3买最好的那种洗车服务。不过想了想，我还是想等回来再洗，反正路上我的车还是会脏的。

我回来的几天后，我在购物时发现那里有家SHELL汽油站，心想：正好，我的洗车服务第二天就过期了。我最好现在就用掉，免得过期浪费。

My friends know that I only buy generic gasoline for my car—you know, Safeway or Arco style—the kind that's probably not up to government standards. Basically I feed my car crap to save myself 10 cents per gallon. On the rare occasion that I feel like spoiling my car, I'll feed her Shell gasoline (high rollaaaa!!!) for the sake of getting a discounted car wash. It’s a double treat—real gas AND a car wash.

A week ago before I started on my road trip, I stopped by a Shell station with the intention of giving my car that double treat. I even paid the extra $3 for a deluxe car wash, but decided to save the wash for when I returned from the trip (the drive would dirty up my car anyway).

I came back from the trip. A few days later, while I was shopping, I spotted a Shell station in the shopping complex. Perfect! My carwash code would expire the next day-- I'd better get that wash before it went to waste.

我加入了排队等洗车的行列。一边耐心等着，一边看着别的车一辆辆地进入那个神奇的清洗间。最后，轮到我了。
I got in that car wash drive-through line. Waiting patiently for my turn, I watched car after car go through that magic cleansing box. Eventually, I made my way to that little silver box before the car wash.

我一面看着上次的汽油收据，一面按入号码。但是上面说，“INVALID CODE”。我再按一次。INVALID CODE。我再按第三次，还是INVALID CODE。突然件我醒悟过来，那个号码一定是要在原来那家汽油站才有效。真倒酶！
Referring to my gasoline receipt, I typed in the code. But it flashed “INVALID CODE”! I typed it in again. INVALID CODE. I typed it in the third time, but the damn thing was stubbornly flashing INVALID CODE. Crap! Then it all of a sudden hit me. The code must only work at the Shell station I bought it at!! Curses!

我往身后一看，看到有等着洗车的人有一长队，就知道麻烦了。这时我的选择是：

1。自认倒酶，另交$8洗车，让原来的$3过期浪费。费用=$11。
2。叫我身后的人倒车，让我退出来，然后去原来那家SHELL洗。代价=$3一部份一部分尊严。
I glanced behind me to find a single-file line of cars also waiting for the car wash. I knew I was in a total mess. My options were:

1). be a sucker and pay $8 to get through the car wash. Waste the $3 I paid for the original car wash (i.e. let it expire). Total cost of car wash = $11.

2). tell everyone behind me to back up, so I can squeeze outta line. Then I can go back to the original Shell, and get car wash I originally paid for. Total cost of car wash =$3 + some dignity.

当然，因为我是个小气鬼，我选择了2。我跳下车来，对着大伙儿喊，“嗯。。。你们能不能倒车让我退出来。。。嗯，就是现在，马上。。。谢谢！”

And since I'm a cheapskate that has no pride, I naturally opted for Option 2. I got outta my car and made my announcement to the cars behind me, "Yeeeeaaaahh....I'm gonna need you all to back up. So, if you could just do that for me right now. Yeahhhhh…thank you!"

也算我倒酶，这家汽油站有着我见过的最长，最弯，最窄的车道。让那么多车倒退真是头痛啊。半途中我都差点放弃了，真想干脆付那$8完事算了。但是我也不好意思再跳出去，说“不行了，我放弃！我还是洗车好了！”不行，那更难堪。我只好集中精力扭转车盘，跟着倒退的车队把我的车好不容易挤出去。
Of course, with *my* luck this Shell Station just HAD to have the narrowest, windiest, longest car wash track I have ever seen in my life. Getting the line of cars to back up was an incredible ordeal. Halfway through the process I almost thought I couldn't make it. In my extreme embarrassment, I wanted to give up and just pay the $8 to get this darn thing over with. But I also didn't want to get outta my car again and make another announcement, "I give up guys!! I'm gonna go through the wash after all! Thanks anyway!" No way. That’d be too much embarrassment. I had already caused these people so much trouble, so why not just go through with it? So, I concentrated hard on steering and followed the backward swiveling line of cars to get my car’s fat arse outta there.

故事的经过就是这样。总之，我给陌生人造成了不必要的麻烦，而且在大庭广众下丢了不少面子。不过重要的是，我省了$8(够买几个汉堡了，呵呵)。故事的中心思想：我是个小气鬼！So that was the story, a moment of embarrassment at a gas station. Basically I caused unnecessary trouble to strangers and lost a bit of dignity in public. But on the cheery side, I saved $8, which is enough to buy myself a few big Macs. ^_^ The moral of the story is that yeah, I’m a cheapskate.